Archive for the ‘ John is sick. ’ Category

Henritta is dragging me down, man…

Hello everybody. I am, (yes, once again), apologizing for my absence. I am needing a note from my mother at this point and even she is miffed that I still haven’t gotten around to posting all the fabulous pictures of Christmas at her house.

Hey, it’s just a little over a week until February and I don’t like to rush things.

Every time I think about sitting down and posting I start off with something funny in my mind and it turns all maudlin in my head before I can get it out. And I don’t think it’s because the Lexapro isn’t doing the job it once was. ūüėČ

Let’s do a rundown, shall we?

Henrietta is still convinced that Gilbert, (the older daughter’s longtime boyfriend), is the devil and frequently can be overheard muttering things about diablo and then using his name under her breath. Yesterday she told John that I was trying to give her drugs that Gilbert supplied me with that were illegal. (Mucinex DM)¬† She also started crying a few days ago and telling John that she just KNOWS that Gilbert is bringing drugs over here and “shooting” them into him, (John). He had been to the doctor and they had taken blood and so he had a cotton ball taped to the inside of his elbow. I guess I should be proud that she thinks that we only deal with the kind of pushers that use an alcohol pad and then a sterile cotton ball and band-aid after the shooting up. We be classy like that.

She is also convinced that I am a horrible person because I won’t let her go to the hospital. She has been sick with the same virus that has worked it’s way through the rest of the family and lingered in the chests and throats and sinus cavities of each of us for two to three weeks each.¬† She is convinced she is dying because she has a hacky little cough that bothers her a few times an hour.

I coughed like I had TB for three weeks and and had a rattle in my chest like a maraca.¬† On a couple of the days when it was at it’s worst I stayed in bed because there were other people here that could take care of her. I heard that woman say to John, “What’s the matter with her now?” John was obviously aggravated with her when he told her I was sick, (as if she didn’t know), and she didn’t say anything else about it. But now, she is telling me that she wants to go to the hospital because she is coughing. When I tell her it’s just a virus she says, “How do you know?”, and telling her that everyone else has had the same thing and the same symptoms does not help.¬† “Oh, Krissa… you don’t know!”¬† She asked me to call a friend of mine that’s a nurse that lives about 20 minutes away and have her come and listen to her chest and tell her what she’s got. (As if that would settle it.) I told her no, there was no way. She said, “Well, she could take my temperature!”. I told her over and over she has no fever. She started telling me I didn’t know what I was talking about. I RAISED TWO CHILDREN. LIKE, I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE HAS FEVER!

I got the damn thermometer and took her temp. Normal. So she let that drop.¬† But she started crying because she wanted to go to the hospital. No amount of assurance that the hospital wouldn’t take her would do. She won’t believe it. I explained that the insurance wouldn’t cover her admittance to the hospital for a cough. She just looked away and shook her head like a small child being defiant.

But, she gave up on the waterworks.

In other news…

John is not doing well at all and I am desperately hoping we can find a new way to attack his heart problems with a new pulmonary doctor and when we see him I am going to ask him if he can recommend a new cardiologist.¬† He has been sick and barely able to function at least 50% of the time since he got out of the hospital. They are not doing anything different. Same drugs, same course of action. (None.)¬† He hasn’t been to see the pulmonologist since he got out of the hospital because we found out the hard way that he doesn’t accept our insurance. But he is having such a hard time breathing now that we both think we have to do something new. So he will be going to see him on February 2nd.

Meanwhile his present cardiologist is saying that he should maybe consider “another line of work”, that maybe he just can’t do this anymore. As if there are¬† all these jobs out there waiting for him to just pick one. I think John is wondering if he can do it too.¬† I am frightened of the future and all the terribly unsure aspects of our lives.


Kessa made a small batch of hash browns the other day for her breakfast along with an egg, ham and cheese sandwich between two slices of perfectly toasted bread. She then walked over and set the plate down on a small occasional table between two chairs in our living room and, (for some totally unknown reason), went down the hall to my bedroom to talk to me for a few minutes. Leaving the sandwich innocently sitting there. On the plate. On the table. Between the two chairs.

Moments later she and I emerged from the bedroom and she exclaimed, “Baby!”¬† I wondered why since Baby was no where to be seen.

Neither was her sandwich.

Baby was rather shy for another couple of hours, the guilty little shit.

The kindness of strangers

Today John had an appointment with his general practitioner.  He went totally prepared with a list of things to talk to him about.

  • Cough- STILL.¬† All the freakin’ time.
  • Sinus drainage that just. won’t. stop.
  • Bottoms of feet burning-(Apparently this is a diabetes thing that we are just becoming acquainted with.)
  • Swings in blood sugar levels
  • Still off of Lisinopril and blood pressure remains low. (Yea!)
  • Xanax is doing absolutely nothing and want off of it.
  • Depression.

So he whipps out the list and covers everything in short order.  We really like his doctor and he is always comforting to visit.  We walk away feeling like there is someone on this earth that is caught up to speed with all the shit going down besides us.  There were answers for some of the problems and suggestions and samples to get started on for others.

So John came home and was telling me all about the appointment and what all the doctor said and we were looking at his list and glad that it was all crossed off.  We had answers for everything we needed so far.

Then my man that I have seen cry less than a handful of times in the past 20+ years, teared up a little and I was truly a bit terrified.  He told me the rest of the story like this:

He made his way to the front window to settle up before his visit and was presented with a bill for this particular doctor from all the visits while he was in hospital for those two weeks.¬† It was what was left after the insurance has paid it’s portion.

It was a lot.

It was also unexpected right at that moment.

They asked if John could make a payment plan.

He said yes, he’d be happy to do that.

How much?

……..$20.00 a month?

Is that the most you can do right now?

He said, yes, because right now he’s employed and he doesn’t know if he’s going to be released to go back to work before the “paid leave of absence” is up. – He may not be employed after that.

There was a older lady standing behind John waiting to pay and overhearing this whole conversation and she quietly slid an arm past him and laid a twenty dollar bill on the counter, saying, “This is for his December payment.”.

I think John was mortified at first.  He insisted he was fine to pay it and tried to give it back to her.  She took it and handed it directly back to the receptionist and told her to apply it to his bill.  He was so very touched.  I am wondering how long he stood there and thanked her. She said to consider it a Christmas present.

I wish so much he had gotten your name.  I would have done everything I could to look you up and you would have a thank you card out to  you first thing tomorrow.

Whoever you are, where ever you are, thank you, merry Christmas and God bless you.

Bad, BAD blogger!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

We are home from the hospital and I am just kind of wallowing around in guilt.  We have been here since the 15th.

That’s right.¬† Almost a week as I type this.¬† I am a horrible person for not updating everyone sooner.¬† But, I am also a tired, and never gonna get caught up with anything person.¬† You know…. that kind.

John is just tired.  All the time.  I have tried to get him to mow the yard help him sleep in anyway I can, but his sleep is restless at best.  The cardio guy has him on blood pressure meds that keep it really, really low so this is a lot of the problem.  I think the rest of it is that not eating salt and carbs has sapped his will to live.  I know it would mine.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

SEE?  I fully intended to finish that and throw it out to the blogosphere last night!  I suck!

We did go to the cardiologist yesterday and got his Lasix increased by half again and his blood pressure meds decreased by half.  So, all in all, he feels much better today.

Does anyone out there have any idea how hard it is to cook diabetic recipes with NO SALT.¬† Both?¬† At the same time?¬† I mean it’s doable… just yucky tasting.¬† I made stew tonight.¬† With low sodium tomato sauce, V-8 Juice and stewed tomatoes.¬† And, of course, stew meat, potatoes, carrots, cabbage, onion and garlic.¬† It tastes good, just needs to cook on¬† low for a while longer to get the meat tender.¬†¬† I sprinkled some of that “Nu Salt” on it and went very lightly with it since it tastes like gym socks… Not that I would know, but… well.

OK, whatev!¬†¬† John is feeling rather hardier today and this is VERY gratifying.¬† He is going to get his flu shot tomorrow.¬† I know what you’re thinking. (Yes I do!)¬† You’re wondering why on earth a heart patient would ever leave the hospital without his flu shot this time of year. (YES, YOU ARE! SHEESH!)¬† Because he’s the biggest tightwad heart patient ever!¬† When they offered him a flu shot, (multiple times), in the hospital, he pictured the free one he could get from his employers.¬† He works for a major supermarket chain and they have pharmacies in each one.¬† Employees are all given a free flu shot.¬† So he declined the ones offered in the hospital.¬† And got some eye rolls from me, that probably went totally un-noticed.

There are 6, (SIX), flu shots left at one of the near by stores and they are saving one for him.

There are no N1H1 shots in Texas.  What about you guys?  I am really curious about this so please let me know if your state/country has them and if you have gotten or are going to.

Henrietta has no idea about what all has gone on.  Well, of course she knows he was in the hospital, but I told her he had a bad case of pneumonia.  She has cried for every new person that has come to the house.  I think the last ones were my parents.  They went home a few days ago.

With each person she goes into a sniffling thing and says repeatedly. “He’s my oooooonly sooooooon!” My mom told John that she feels sure if he had a passel of brothers his mom probably wouldn’t care so much.¬† Of course she was teasing him!

Please come visit me… she needs “new meat” to cry on…

So there!  I am NOT going to go on and on and on!  And tomorrow morning I am going to start reading posts, SO HELP ME GAWD!

I love you guys so much and appreciate the lovin and well wishes more than I can say!  I can assure you of one thing!  I never felt alone!

WE'RE BACK! in the damn hospital.

I swear, I can’t remember the last time I was this frustrated, (that doesn’t have to do with parenting).¬† We took our happy little asses home and the first night was great.¬† We both slept like the dead.

However, the next day John began having some sharp pains in his left side.  He said it felt a lot like the catch you get in your side from running, only worse.  These pains began keeping him up at night and he had shortness of breath with them  as well.

So I called the damn doctor and told the damn doctor what was going on and she said to go to the damn ER.  We did and got in pretty quick when the ER nurse took his history, considered his latest symptoms and did a test on his pancreas.



So here we sit.¬† Again.¬† It’s like a nightmare we can’t wake up from.

The thinking is that the pancreas is the handy little gizmo that makes insulin and we know his isn’t anymore.¬† So there’s something up with that, but what?

Well, “they” did a cat scan after he got to drink 10 delicious ounces¬† of barium and found, nothing.¬† Well, nothing outside the norm except an inflamed pancreas.¬† They don’t know why or what’s causing it.¬† Maybe it’s jealous because it can’t spit out insulin anymore and we now have other sources.¬†¬† I dunno.

*deep sigh*

I am so emotionally drained and just plain tired I can’t think straight.¬† I have a bunch of pictures to put on here, (Some of them even funny!), only I forgot the deal to put the camera card in at home.

There is some good news.  Mither and Pop are here!  they showed up last night to help with, well, everything.  And that sure is nice to know!  Hopefully they can get the house, Henrietta and the girls whipped into shape before we get home.

Geeze! If they can do that, coming to the hospital may be worth it!

I am exhausted, people.¬† I swear I will begin reading you all again soon… soonish. Oh, hell, I really have no idea when this will all end, but I’ll be back sometime, I promise.

I am not proofing this so please forgive me for any bizarre errors.¬† I’m just gonna hit publish and go with it.

Well, the good news is very, very good news.¬† They re-ran the blood test for cancer and it was negative.¬† So the “diagnosis” part of the report was incorrect and quite possibly meant for someone else.¬† Poor bastard, I wonder if they ever bothered to tell him/her?¬† Anyway, very, very, VERY happy about that one!¬† Woo-hoo and all that happy crap.

Not to mention, the angiogram showed no evidence of blockages or narrowings.  Just a weakened, enlarged heart that was pumping ineffectively at about 15 to 20 percent now, and that is supposed to be a much more accurate number than the amount we were previously quoted, which was 30%.

So, on we go to the present situation where the two cardiologists get together and agree that there is a blood clot in his heart that was seen during the heart catherization.¬† Otherwise known as the angiogram.¬† They told us we will need to be here for another two to three days.¬† Meanwhile I am still waiting on the endocrinologist I asked for yesterday and I was told he should be here sometime today. It is ten till five and I am betting a bundle that ain’t gonna happen.¬† But it’s not like we’ve got anywhere else to be so, whatever.

So we thought we’d be going home on Monday and found out it would be Tuesday before they could do the angiogram.¬† Then, we needed to wait until we could see the guy to “fit” John with a monitor, so it would be Wednesday.¬† Now, he has this bloodclot that they began treating with Coumadin last night and it will be, “two or three days”.

I think these people have a crush on us and don’t want us to leave.

I am blown away by the response from all of you.¬† Thank you so much for all your love, support and suggestions.¬† I am so blessed to have all my blogging buddies for friends.¬† I have even heard from some new people due to some of you sending people that might know something about our problems over here to weigh in.¬† I’m talking to you, Nan!¬† Thank you so much!¬† I’m going to start answering emails tonight so I WILL get to you soon!¬† Thanks you guys!