Archive for the ‘ Blather ’ Category

Last night I was conversing with Witchypoo via emails and was just catching her up to what all was going on.  You know, up to the minute reporting, here at KMEX.   Heh.  OH! or maybe, KLOO, that sounds apt.   KPOT?  No, that sounds like I gots weed here.  I am sure my posts would be more interesting if that was the case.

KPOO!  That may have to be the call letters for my station!  KPOO!  I love it.  …, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah!  Witchypoo threw up an email chat conversation between she and I over at Kelley’s place when she was guest blogging and while we were chatting last night she said I definitely need to blog about what was going on then.

Here is my stab at copying and pasting the convo along with the color coded thingy so you know that it’s me talking when it’s blue and Witchypoo the plain text.  (Notice, that I will do a better job at getting the colors right than she did.)


Did I tell you last night that the snake had mites?  She did.  I bathed her in olive oil and then wiped her clean and they all appeared to fall off.  There weren’t too many.  I blame that damn pet shop Kee was buying the “sanitary” mice from.

Yeah, but will snakeypoo eat frozen mice?

Kee says she doesn’t want to feed her frozen cause it’s “not as nutritional”.  I am gonna have to google it and find me some reliable info on the whole thing.

Well, then, she had best be prepared to perform the olive oil snakey hand job.

Heh.  That has me giggling.  And thinking, “EEEWWWWWWW!” at the same time.

I know. It’s a gift.

Nurse was here and just left.  New catheter for H.  Doesn’t seem to be working at this point.  We will see.  I have a special picture for you of what I saw when I came in here to sit down at the pooter and try to work on my post some more.  Oh, and talk to you via email of course.  I will send it.

Uh oh!

Keelan feeds snake in a big plastic tote, to “not confuse it about what is food and what is not…” or some such shit.  She does this in her room.  Upstairs.  Not downstairs.  Not downstairs in my chair where I sit and do pooter things.  Yet, this is what I found.  A snake that’s not hungry and a mouse that’s more than a little stupid.  Maybe the snake just doesn’t like to eat things that are that stupid…?


DSC01024OMG! You are totally blogging this aren’t you?

Maybe…  Somehow it doesn’t seem that bizarre if you live here with it.  heh

God.  That’s sad, isn’t it?

not sad, but blogworthy. lots of folk are skeered of snakes. or fascinated by them. or would like to hear aobut the olive oil snakey hand job.

You are a shit for saying that!  My sweet, innocent leetle bay-bee!

Why, thank you ma’am!


Amended to add that Witchypoo really does know what she’s doing when it comes to posting or working anywhere else on a computer for that matter.  For some reason putting it up on Kelly’s site was being very complicated and it just wouldn’t take it as written.  I told her it’s because she doesn’t speak Australian. heh

Bullets… not silver ones though.

* I dumped a bit of critter food on a paver sitting in my flowerbed to try to lure the baby squirrels into my yard.    The little shits are very cautious about anything THAT easy to get to.  However I am getting some cardinals and other vermin critters, coming up.

*The other night Craig Ferguson said something like, ” Young people  who want change try to orchestrate a well placed riot.  Old farts like me  just think, “Get that riot off my lawn!”   Heh

*Overheard at chez Lopez last night while discussing John’s midlife crisis crazies.

Kessa shot a look at The Boyfriend and said, “Honey, when you start having a midlife crisis I’m just shipping you off.

The Boyfriend, a tad bewildered, “To where?”

Kessa, “They have places for men to go to stay till they get over that stuff.  That’s where you’ll have to go!  But, don’t worry, I’ll still come and visit you once in a while.”

The Boyfriend contemplates this for a few seconds and says, “So that’s what happens to men…. what happens to women?”

Before Kessa could begin to formulate an answer, I snapped, “We start having periods once a month about the age of 12 and it lasts until who knows when!”

The Boyfriend, “Oh….yeah.”  Now he feels lucky.

* H, essentially, wet the bed last night.  Yesterday her catheter started failing and she was waking up with a leeeetle bit of pee in the bag and a lot in the diaper.  So I called the agency to come out here and change it.

They sent some new chick.  *sigh*

Now don’t get me wrong, she was nice, and doing the best she knew how. Yet, Henrietta is riddled with fistulas  to the point that it’s like Swiss cheese up in there.  At least that’s what I’m guessing since it’s such a hit or miss proposition to get the cath to work.  OK, mostly “miss”.

The nurse did her thing and left.  So cocksure of herself that she didn’t even bother to wait around and see if it “took”.

It didn’t and it was evident last night when I put H to bed.  She just had a wee bit ‘o wee in the bag.  Sometimes moving her around and, consequently moving the fistulas gets it all back lined up, so I was hopeful putting her in bed would do this.

About 8:00 this morning she was soaked in urine.  So I changed up all the fixin’s she was in, diaper, nightgown, hospital chux, etc. and she went back to sleep.

Here in a few minutes she is going to go sit on the bedpan and when she’s done, I am going to give changing the catheter a shot and I bet I can get it done.  If she’ll let me do it.

I’ll report back and don’t worry.   I promise…  no pictures.

Picture Purge #3

Wow!  There are a ton of totally unrelated pictures on my camera that need to come off.

Don’t expect any of this to make sense.  (HA! Like I had to warn you about THAT!) It was just whatever moved me to take a picture of whatever at the time.

Me at chiropractor right before she stretches me from 5'4" to 5'7" Heh

Me at chiropractor right before she stretches me ON THE RACK. John took this.

Inside of purse while bored in waiting room... somewhere...

Inside of purse while bored in waiting room... somewhere...

I need a dress to attend an afternoon wedding.  OUTSIDE. IN JUNE.

I need a dress to attend an afternoon wedding. OUTSIDE. IN JUNE.

Top two contenders.  The one on the right won.

Top two contenders. The one on the right won.

Wedding we were attending.

Wedding reception we were attending.

Our tiki bar at the wedding reception of our neighbor across the street.

Our tiki bar at the wedding reception of our neighbor across the street.

Ladies from the neighborhood.

Ladies from the neighborhood.

The happy couple, Rich and Pat.

The happy couple, Rich and Pat.

And that’s enough about the wedding.

Next we have Henrietta after the SIL showed up early enough to get her out of bed and dressed and hauled into the chair and into the living room and I looked at her and damned if she didn’t dress her in a pink and white striped top and bright red pants.  It’s kinda hard to tell in the picture, cause I didn’t use a flash, but her pants are RED.  When I said, “Couldn’t you have found her something that matched?”  She said, “Oh! That’s good enough for Mom!”

So sweet.

While going to Kohl's the other day... Heh!

While going to Kohl's the other day. Heh!

So is it going to rain or is this the apocolypse?

So is it going to rain or is this the apocalypse? This is while leaving Kohl's.

Keelan's snake... making himself comfortable.

Keelan's snake, making himself comfortable.

Look!  He's smiling for the camera!

Look! He's smiling for the camera!

Our new tiki bar.  Isn't it cute.  OK, but it was FREE. That's what I thought.

Our new tiki bar. Isn't it cute? OK, but it was free. That's what I thought.

…and besides that, I went outside in the heat of the day and painted it with water sealant. It’s been getting around 95 and 96 degrees here every day and the humidity is hovering around 126%.

Yes I agree.  it is absolutely beautiful.

The cicadas are out and making a horrible racket and leaving these shells around all over the place.

The cicadas are out and making a horrible racket and leaving these shells around all over the place.

There.  That wasn’t too terribly painful, was it?  OK! OK!  The good news is that my camera is clean and therefore my mind is too.
Yeah!  RIGHT!!!

Henrietta now needs rehab.

Henrietta has been having trouble with her allergies lately and suffering from an occasional sinus headache.  In the past four and a half years that she has lived here and I’ve been taking care of her, I have repeatedly given her two Ibuprofen for minor aches and pains, headaches, arthritis, etc.  It doesn’t happen that often, yet every time it does there is a long explanation of what I’m giving her, what it’s for, did the doctor OK it, does the nurse know, will it make her fall asleep, what will it do to her, is it “habit forming”.

Now, ya see, this doesn’t happen very often.  But that little old bat has a memory like a pissed off wife.   She remembers everything I have told her about the wonders that are Ibuprofen and every time I give it to her a couple of hours later she is flabbergasted that she is “cured!“.

Well, yesterday she was having a terrible time with her allergies and complaining that her head was hurting, so I asked her if she would like to have some Ibuprofen.

Looking slightly alarmed and worried, she said, “Weeeell,… I guess so…”

I gave it to her and she was amazed when I put her to bed later at how it had just gone away.  Her allergies had also cleared up in the meantime, for whatever reason, and she attributed this to the Ibuprofen.  I told her no, it didn’t do that.  Her allergies just cleared up on their own and she was insistent that that’s the way it worked on her.

OK.  Whatever.

That was yesterday.  Today she is again having trouble with her allergies and chose to stay in bed, (because she is convinced she has to be in bed if she is feeling bad at all), even after I told her that her head would drain easier if she was sitting up in a chair.

Apparently it’s harder to be pitiful sitting up in a chair, than lying in bed.  Don’t question it.  These are the findings.

So I asked her if she would like some Ibuprofen.  I mean after all if worked like the miracle drug it is, yesterday.  “Ooooh… again?”

“Yes, Henrietta, it will help your headache.”

“Well… I don’t know… Is it habit forming?”

I was on my way out at this point to get the meds.  *deep sigh* “No, it’s not.”

“Oh…OK” sounding almost disappointed.

And then, as I was nearing the door, I heard that little old bag mumble resignedly, “I guess I’ll be an addict….”

I swear I'm not really dead.

It just seems like it sometimes.

I am being threatened again, by family and… “loved” ones.  I am being told that if I don’t post again immediately, well, there will be consequences.

You don’t want to know.

So here’s what’s going on at chez Lopez now and for the past six months few days.

As you probably remember, there was another auspicious occasion to go along with Mother’s Day.  My birthday was the day before.  I promised pictures when I wasn’t feeling too lazy to work on it and since I am now properly motivated, here they are.

Here’s John and I at Olive Garden.  I gained 50 pounds that night, and it’s all in my neck… and boobs.  I SWEAR my neck doesn’t look that wide in real life.  My boobs, however… Yeah, that’s about it.

We had a wonderful time and I got all kinds of gifts and whatnots.  The whatnots were especially great, but what would you expect?  I know everyone has had tons of fun with their whatnot’s before and you know of what I speak.

Here I am with my adoring fans.  I know you thought I really didn’t have any so I am attempting to provide proof.  John took this and I have to admit that every night there is a fight to see who can get in my lap first when I sit down in the living room with John to watch TV and talk.  Please click on the picture and notice that there are three (3) animals ergonomically packed into the chair with me.  There is the one small dog slid in over there on the right trying not to be noticed, cause if I get feeling claustrophobic after a bit, or just plain HOT (and who wouldn’t), they all have to be dumped out.

Going   back a ways, the last time I was at World Market I found the neatest little pair of earrings.  They are freshwater pearl on a sterling silver wire.  And, they were ten bucks.  I LOVE them.  They are comfortable to sleep in and came with little, tiny, clear acrylic backs that keeps them from wriggling out of my ear.  Cause if something can wriggle off of me, it will.  Except the pets… I think we all can agree that I am doomed to be smothered by the pets.

Moving right along…

This tree, planted between my house and the neighbors is in bloom and it is the neatest thing!  The blooms, that are ALL OVER IT smell like lavender.  And I guess they look a tad like it too.

The leaves, however, look like marijuana.

Well, they DO.

I have named it the “Lavender Marijuana Tree”.  It sounds like a kind that should be very expensive.

And finally we come to my new Haan steam mop!  Ignore the little old lady in the background.  She continually throws food onto the floor for the dogs, (and they DO NOT clean it up well), and she’s the reason I need the steam mop in the first place….  Yeah.  That’s what I’m going to run with.

Anyway, Mither gave it to me because I had told her how badly I wanted one and there is genuinely a NEED for it.  She’s wonderful like that!

This bad boy does it all and with only a cup of water.  Of course it needs someone to run it around and before that happens the floors need all the pet hair and food scraps swept up off of it.  My chiropractor specifically told me not to sweep or mop for a couple of days.

What?  Chiropractor?  Krissa, you must lead an exciting life doing all kinds of adventurous things to have to go and see a chiropractor.

Yeah, well… OK, sure.

John went with me and I was glad he did so he could see and verify that I wasn’t just making up big fat fibs about how archaic the machinery looks in there.  Plus I felt like it wouldn’t hurt for him to hear all the cracking that happened when she “adjusted” me.

I feel  better now and go back again on Friday.  Henrietta, on the other hand is going on a diet.  She laughed when I told her that…  I don’t know why she thought I was joking…

It’s late now and I am tired and am about to go to bed.  John is snoring lightly in the chair beside me and he’s off work tomorrow.  So we will get all kinds of things done.  Maybe.

Free toes, everybody!