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Archive for the ‘ Birthday ’ Category


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While I was at Mither’s and Pop’s house, my auntiepoo, Merrinette, had a birthday!  Like the outstanding family we are, we made her come to see us so we would have a reason to celebrate invited her over and we sat around and giggled and ribbed one another until we could no longer stand it and we did what anybody in Texas does when having their birthday with their sister and niece and grand-daughter.  We went out for Mexican food.  And oh, it was sooooo good.

Here’s a shot of Merrinette and Taylee, her lovely grand-daughter.

DSC00918Note the crown of significance on her head.  BIRTHDAY GIRL!

DSC00912Here she is sporting a different crown.  This one is a bit more…less slutty laid back than the, ahem, after five one above.   It never hurts a girl to have a good choice of crowns.  And please take a moment to notice how well her hair poofed up behind it,(we DO live in Texas, after all), AND the sparkle in her eyes.

DSC00927And here’s the evil siblings sisters themselves!  Merrinette and Kerry Lynda.  AKA Auntiepoo and Mither.  Here comes trouble!DSC00922

And it wouldn’t be a post of pictures of the two of them without the gratuitous shot of them trying vainly to have only the one chin.  Yes, that is exactly what they’re doing.  There is nothing unusual on the ceiling.

Did I mention they’re a little nuts and I come by it quite honestly?  Yeah, well…..ya know.

Moving right along.

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Fajitas!!!! And we ate and ate and ate.  And then we were so full we decided we needed to take a nap.

BUT!  Before we returned we went by one of my favorite places in Decatur!

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DSC00873Here are Mither and Auntiepoo going into the wonderful, magical Main Street Home and Gardens.  Possibly my favorite place ever.  Other than Mither’s!  And Auntiepoo’s!  Whew!  Couldn’t forget that!

Here are just a few pics to whet your appetite until tomorrow when I show you all around the place!  It really is a magic spot and besides, it’s where I get the black magic stuff to keep H in line we are all going to have lunch the next time I go visit.  Sadly, we didn’t have time this day.

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DSC00908Free Toes, everybody!

I swear I'm not really dead.


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It just seems like it sometimes.

I am being threatened again, by family and… “loved” ones.  I am being told that if I don’t post again immediately, well, there will be consequences.

You don’t want to know.

So here’s what’s going on at chez Lopez now and for the past six months few days.

As you probably remember, there was another auspicious occasion to go along with Mother’s Day.  My birthday was the day before.  I promised pictures when I wasn’t feeling too lazy to work on it and since I am now properly motivated, here they are.

Here’s John and I at Olive Garden.  I gained 50 pounds that night, and it’s all in my neck… and boobs.  I SWEAR my neck doesn’t look that wide in real life.  My boobs, however… Yeah, that’s about it.

We had a wonderful time and I got all kinds of gifts and whatnots.  The whatnots were especially great, but what would you expect?  I know everyone has had tons of fun with their whatnot’s before and you know of what I speak.

Here I am with my adoring fans.  I know you thought I really didn’t have any so I am attempting to provide proof.  John took this and I have to admit that every night there is a fight to see who can get in my lap first when I sit down in the living room with John to watch TV and talk.  Please click on the picture and notice that there are three (3) animals ergonomically packed into the chair with me.  There is the one small dog slid in over there on the right trying not to be noticed, cause if I get feeling claustrophobic after a bit, or just plain HOT (and who wouldn’t), they all have to be dumped out.

Going   back a ways, the last time I was at World Market I found the neatest little pair of earrings.  They are freshwater pearl on a sterling silver wire.  And, they were ten bucks.  I LOVE them.  They are comfortable to sleep in and came with little, tiny, clear acrylic backs that keeps them from wriggling out of my ear.  Cause if something can wriggle off of me, it will.  Except the pets… I think we all can agree that I am doomed to be smothered by the pets.

Moving right along…

This tree, planted between my house and the neighbors is in bloom and it is the neatest thing!  The blooms, that are ALL OVER IT smell like lavender.  And I guess they look a tad like it too.

The leaves, however, look like marijuana.

Well, they DO.

I have named it the “Lavender Marijuana Tree”.  It sounds like a kind that should be very expensive.

And finally we come to my new Haan steam mop!  Ignore the little old lady in the background.  She continually throws food onto the floor for the dogs, (and they DO NOT clean it up well), and she’s the reason I need the steam mop in the first place….  Yeah.  That’s what I’m going to run with.

Anyway, Mither gave it to me because I had told her how badly I wanted one and there is genuinely a NEED for it.  She’s wonderful like that!

This bad boy does it all and with only a cup of water.  Of course it needs someone to run it around and before that happens the floors need all the pet hair and food scraps swept up off of it.  My chiropractor specifically told me not to sweep or mop for a couple of days.

What?  Chiropractor?  Krissa, you must lead an exciting life doing all kinds of adventurous things to have to go and see a chiropractor.

Yeah, well… OK, sure.

John went with me and I was glad he did so he could see and verify that I wasn’t just making up big fat fibs about how archaic the machinery looks in there.  Plus I felt like it wouldn’t hurt for him to hear all the cracking that happened when she “adjusted” me.

I feel  better now and go back again on Friday.  Henrietta, on the other hand is going on a diet.  She laughed when I told her that…  I don’t know why she thought I was joking…

It’s late now and I am tired and am about to go to bed.  John is snoring lightly in the chair beside me and he’s off work tomorrow.  So we will get all kinds of things done.  Maybe.

Free toes, everybody!

Karma got me this morning, though.


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It’s midnight on Monday.  Or, actually, I guess I should say Tuesday morning.

I am sure everyone out there realizes that Sunday, May 10 was Mother’s Day.  Well, Saturday, May 9 was my birthday.  I am now 46 years old people.

Stop looking so smug.  I know I’m older than you.

So this is what happens at chez Lopez.  I am waited on hand and foot for my birthday, showered with gifts and treated like a queen.  Taken out to eat and pampered.  Hauled in the loot like you wouldn’t believe.  My family rocks.

THEN! The next day, Mother’s Day, a repeat performance.  For two days I only had to get H on and off the bedpan and diapered.   The SIL even came and stayed with her so we could all go out and eat together.  We didn’t get back until after 10:30pm and Kes got here a few minutes before John and I did.  John and I walked in the door and there was Henrietta sitting in her wheelchair in the living room.

The SIL left as soon as Kes walked in the door ahead of us by maybe three or four minutes.

SHE DIDN’T EVEN PUT HER IN BED!  We fed her before we left, (long before), and SIL just plopped her happy ass down and watched TV and didn’t even put her in bed or give her her pills or change her into a nightgown or change her nappy or anything.  I was pissed.  Not to mention tired after being pampered all day and then overstuffing myself on overpriced Italian food.  That can wear a girl out.

Now.  Down to the really, really serious matter at hand here.  I am looking for someone to sponsor me in a program for an addiction I have acquired this past weekend.  This sponsor wouldn’t need to have the exact same problem as me…  Perhaps someone out there started out just occasionally using, ooooh, I dunno, M&M’s.  Or, has been seen in line at Baskin Robbins a few too many times.

I’m not judging.  But when you find that you have fallen and fallen hard into a life where you have become totally dependent on bon bons to get you through your day, THEN you can judge me.

My bon bon addiction combined with my lack of motivation to move back into my regular life of being taken for granted, used and abused, coupled with the realization that I was making a HAUL on gifts there for a couple of days and like any toddler, DON’T WANT IT TO END, just HAS to be the reason I woke up today with nausea and actually REGURGITATED.  This? is monumental.  I cannot remember the last time I threw up.  I have a cast iron stomach and a similar constitution.  My family looked at me like I might be gonna die.  I must say this was disheartening.  I told them all where to go and crawled back in bed.  I got up long enough to feed H breakfast and she very sweetly insisted on staying in bed today so I wouldn’t have to breathe in her face haul her in and out of the wheelchair and get her dressed and all that shit.

So today, I blew “it” all off again.  Life in general.  No laundry got done.  I didn’t clean the kitchen, I didn’t cook supper.  It was all magically done by the little elves that run around here on magical days like May 9th and Mother’s Day and freaky puke days. Well, the laundry didn’t get done but if I have calculated correctly, at least three of us run out of underwear tomorrow.  (huh…better not be me…)

Next year Mother’s Day and my birthday are one and the same.  This happens every seven years or so.  Not THAT big a deal.  And I know what you’re thinking.  No.  I absolutely do not get shortchanged on gifts on these occasions.  I don’t think I would stand for that if it was ever attempted.  My loves know this.

I have been watching Craig Ferguson as I, er, composed this.  It is now 12:59 and I am about to throw it out to the blogosphere and see if it doesn’t get thrown back in my face.  Regurgitated, if you will.


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Well, a day late and a…

It’s November and it’s National Blog Posting Month, or NaBloPoMo, as everyone is calling it.  I should have mentioned this yesterday on November 1st, but, hey, I’m just unorthodox, non conformist, a freak like that.  So the deal is that if you are going to take up the NaBloPoMo challenge you whip out a post every single day for the whole month.  I’m not sure I can come up with anything good to say, but jabber has always been one of my specialities.

I dunno, people.  John has had two days off in a row and went back to work today and of course the store is a hellhole.  (One of the reasons he hates to be off two days back to back.)  I think his boss really thinks he’s doing him a favor when he does this to his schedule.

I have been discussing the situation with Witchy-poo and she was of the opinion that they were possibly softening him up before sending him to the new, gi-normous, grand opening store.

I don’t think they’re concerned enough about how he feels to bother with softening him up.  This just sounds nothing like them.  His immediate boss is a fairly nice guy, though a bit incompetent.  But the higher up one is a tee-total bitch.  I believe, in my heart of hearts, she is very proud of this.

Kes just came home from work and dashed in to nab my credit card and run out and buy herself some new bras.  She was in worse shape than me, if that’s possible.  (Yes, it is.)  She had only one bra left and recently the underwire broke through and gouged into her boob leaving a nasty puncture wound.  I couldn’t believe it when she showed me the wire.  It was sharp as a needle!  A man must have designed it.

It’s 1:50 PM now and I’m just waiting for H to poo.  I believe I will do some laundry.

It is now 3:23 and H is pooed and dressed and in the wheel chair.  Except for feeding her, I am done for the day until time to put her to bed.  Unless there is the dreaded U.P. (For those of you so unfortunate you missed a particular explanatory post, this means “unscheduled poop”.  Try to keep up.  There may be a test.)

On October 25th, while my dear Mither and Pop were here, my good friend, Lisa had a birthday and we felt it very necessary to celebrate with great food and even better company.  Here is Lisa blowing out the candles that I lovingly placed on her birthday cake.

There was some discussion about the actual numerical amount represented by the flaming digits on the cake.

I was concerned that I may have gotten the number wrong because I wasn’t sure if the third candle is a one or a seven.  Lisa was, as usual a good sport about it and insists that when you hit 65,000 whats 600 years give or take?  I guess I can see her point.

You too can achieve this affect if you save every single numerical candle your kids have ever used on a cake.  And it could have been even longer if the cake was bigger!

I am going to call dear Mither and ask her for the recipe for this particular cake and be so generous as to give it to YOU!  It is, really, the very best cake in the world.  Lisa has had it before and she has told me many times that it’s her fav, too.  For a scratch cake it’s really very easy.

It’s supposed to be called Chocolate Sheet Cake, but, it’s known around here as BIRTHDAY CAKE.

BIRTHDAY CAKE

(CHOCOLATE)

2 c. sugar

2 c. flour

4 Tbsp. cocoa

1 stick butter

1 c. boil water

Add the following in this order and beat after each:

2 eggs

1/2 c. buttermilk

1 tsp. soda

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 tsp. salt

Bake in greased and floured 9×13 sheet cake  pan at 400 for 20ish minutes.  Frost as soon as it comes out of the oven.

FROSTING

Bring to a boil:

1 stick butter

4 Tbsp. cocoa

1/3 cup of milk

Add one box of confectioners sugar (2 cups), and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  Mix well.  One cup of nuts, (optional).

THAT is the most moist cake I have ever tasted… Moistest?  Moisty?  Moistester?

Whatev.


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