You know. I have several friends, some of them extremely close, who have male children that are wonderful, sweet, mature for their age, able to show emotion, completely functional people that are not emotionally or psychologically stunted.
And then there are the others.
I am admitting to something here that is very hard for me. I am biased and prejudiced and probably not a decent human being. But, hey, I’ve still never had any hate mail and am waiting for it before my chest can swell up with pride and I can feel like a real blog writer!
I am prejudiced by sex.
No. This isn’t a “sexual” post. It is a sex post. Ok, that still sounds a bit creepy. Let’s try this again.
My whole life I have been around people with nice little girls and horrid little boys.
OK that’s not really true. Most of the people I have known have had it that way. I have to admit that there have been those that had very nice, sweet, well behaved, human little boys. But they were in the minority.
Not that they didn’t exist! And I am not by any far stretch of the imagination trying to say that all boys are vulgar, violent, hateful loudmouths who will do anything to draw attention to themselves…
Some of them just seem that way at times, and it throws the others in the fire.
Really, the problem is clearly MINE. We wanted girls both times. We got girls both times and I think we ended up feeling superior for obvious reasons. Not so much because we trumped the “dealer”. (Two out of two… Woo-Hoo!) But because we went into this whole thing with preconceptions about the differences between boys and girls. (I still feel bad about that.)
I remember telling John and the doctor that I really wanted to know what sex the baby was because we wanted a girl and if it was a boy we needed time to get to want him as much as we already did a gitl. And we would have, too. There would definitely have been no sad faces in that delivery room if the thing had popped out with a penis.
But we were forewarned and happily anticipating our first and second daughter.
Now comes the part that you are going to suspect is fiction more than fact.
I swear, I am telling the God’s honest truth.
Those two were the most perfect babies and toddlers that you have ever come across.
There is 17 1/2 months difference in their ages and they were thick as thieves in their early years. One did not ever do anything without the other and they constantly looked out for the other as well.
They have grown apart during Jr. High and High School, but are starting to pull back together again just as destiny dictates. They’ll be fast friends before long and best friends for life.
I say so.
But that doesn’t make them the perfect children to raise, does it?
I swear, I am not lying, neither one of them ever had a “terrible two tantrum”, or three or anything else for that matter.
I never had to wrestle them to get them to take medicine. Even when tiny babies. I just put the foul tasting stuff into a medicine giver with a nipple on it and they made horrible faces while sucking it down. (I know, you’re wondering about intelligence here… turns out to be above average! Surprised me, too!)
They were so obedient that it made me stop and take stock and pray over and over that God wouldn’t second guess what he had given us and make it hard. Because it wasn’t. They did everything I told them to as if it was not comprehensible not to. It simply didn’t occur to them to test the system.
I feel so horrible for new mothers, or even mother’s of older children who are having a really hard time and I can’t even imagine what they’re going through.
I swear mine were perfect. I would do the entire thing again in a heartbeat.
Yes, I know the nursing every three hours was a pain and all that, but it didn’t last forever. Just a little blip in my lifetime and hers as well. Plus, I can’t say it wasn’t enjoyable. That’s the one time that I could see my daughters looking up at me knowing it’s only me that can do this for them. And it was so good to feel so connected.
They were cuddly and sweet and loved hugging and kissing. This is something that boys, in general just don’t do. (Note the “in general”, I DO know that there are those penis bearing types out there that are loving in this way, but I still feel they are very much in the minority.)
They never put anything in their mouths that did not belong. I swear, they didn’t try to eat everything in sight that would fit into their mouths. Only food that was put into a plate in front of them. They were clearly much smarter than other kids their ages in that they could identify FOOD. They had teething rings and what not and got through all that unhappy crap really early. Like, I’m not kidding you, between 5 and 12 months.
They didn’t pick up anything and attempt to make a weapon out of it. There was not beating or hitting.
There was no screaming or yelling. They didn’t spend the majority of their time attempting to be so obnoxious that there was no way to not to notice them.
As a matter of fact they were so confident in themselves there was never any reason for them to scream.
They just calmly said what was on their mind and trusted that the world would see their insight or questions for what it was.
Heh. I like to think, “From the mouths of babes”, was coined after them.
It SO wasn’t.
I believe Jesus said it, though I can’t think why. Or what book it’s in… Oh well.
So does it make me a horrible person to feel like, just in general, girls are so superior to boys?
I am writing this while John is asleep beside me and baby is between us at the foot of the bed. She is making funny little grunting and sighing noises in her sleep. I wonder if she is dreaming of a hamburger? Every now and then she begins to run in her sleep… wonder if the burger is making her chase it?
Comment by Quixotic on February 24, 2010 at 7:38 am
Oh, I’m not touching this one!!! I have a little girl, and whilst she is adorable 90% of the time, she certainly throws wobblies, does what she is told not to and so on.
Close friends with children of both sexes have told me there is a “general” difference, boys seem to be more physically adventurous etc., but I think it also depends on your child’s personality. My cousin for example was an angel as a little boy, and is even a pretty human teenager!
.-= Quixotic´s last blog ..Safe as Houses =-.
Comment by JennyMac on February 24, 2010 at 9:06 am
haha..we have the opposite situation…the boys we know are sweet, some of the girls we know are sweet, some of the girls we know are devils in pigtails.
You would love MiniMac…he is the sweetest boy ever. (Biased, biased, biased…lol)
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..Paying penance…. =-.
Comment by Kristina P. on February 24, 2010 at 11:12 am
I’ve worked in social work for a really long time, and I’ve always preferred working with teenage boys over the girls. But I don’t have to live with them!
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Throwing in the Bowel =-.
Comment by Kori on February 24, 2010 at 11:20 am
I have, as you know, one girl and three boys-and God knew what he was doing because I suck at parenting girls and it is ALSO a good thing Hannah and Eli are a mere 16 months apart because if I had had just a few more months of parenting a lone girl I would have NEVER had another one. Just saying.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..I could write about…. =-.
Comment by Red Hamster on February 24, 2010 at 12:01 pm
What a deeply reflective and insightful post for 5:22 am! Maybe I need to get up earlier, haha.
I grew up with 2 sisters, no brothers. I raised 2 girls. I wouldn’t have known what to do with boys. And it was just the girls and me…cause my @#*! ex walked out on us when the girls were little. My girls were born perfect, but it wasn’t easy for any of us to be angels, under the circumstances. But I agree with you…under the best or the worst of circumstances…there is still a general gender difference between boys and girls behavior.
.-= Red Hamster´s last blog ..BTW, Happy Valentine’s Day! =-.
Comment by Burgh Baby on February 24, 2010 at 2:38 pm
My prejudice is that I just plain don’t like kids. Truly. I like *mine,* but have a hard time liking any other kids. Fortunately, there have been a few that have come into our lives that have wormed their way into my heart.
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..Olympic Dreams =-.
Comment by Mither on February 24, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Well my dear, I do find it necessary to remind you that, while you are absolutely right about the girls not having terrible 2 or 3 or 4 tantrums, and they were perfect children; we have seen some of those tantrums coming from 16, 17, and 18 year olds. I can remember the time I finally realized that my perfect granddaughters were still wonderful but they just weren’t perfect any more. Of course, now they are near perfect again. You are right about that!
Comment by noe noe girl on February 24, 2010 at 3:56 pm
My Little T is the sweetest thing in the whole wide world, when he’s asleep.
No really, he was a good baby and he is a good boy.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on February 24, 2010 at 4:48 pm
I just posted this on FB:
Very few things in life are as awesome as picking up your 3 year-old son from preschool only to find him ankle deep in toilet water, while the teacher frantically plunges the toilet and mops up the mess. “Mack Man… did you put anything INTO the toilet before you flushed it?” He said No… good enough for me… grab your coat, let’s go. I hope he didn’t flush that missing mitten.
And? He is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. If it’s possible to give birth to one’s soul mate… And he’s going to make me a nervous wreck every day for the rest of my life.
And I totally agree with you. TOTALLY.
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..It’s like giving birth, but more painful =-.
Comment by grandma j on February 24, 2010 at 6:36 pm
You are so funny! I had three girls and one boy. While I considered them all good kids who grew up, went to college, never got arrested (and if they did they never called me for bail), and all have good families and live quite well…I have to say my boy was the easiest of all. My girls were more competitive, demanding and assertive. Now, those aren’t really bad things, but my son didn’t care what I bought him for his birthday or Christmas. He had a list but it wasn’t brand or color specific. He watched whatever everyone else wanted to watch and didn’t have to be first. He is still very agreeable and a gem.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
Comment by Roger on March 6, 2010 at 11:56 am
You know that you just jinxed yourself into having four grandSONS now, don’t you? 🙂
Next thing you are going to say is that childbirth didn’t hurt either. 😉
.-= Roger´s last blog ..OK Go =-.
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