Hello everybody. I am, (yes, once again), apologizing for my absence. I am needing a note from my mother at this point and even she is miffed that I still haven’t gotten around to posting all the fabulous pictures of Christmas at her house.
Hey, it’s just a little over a week until February and I don’t like to rush things.
Every time I think about sitting down and posting I start off with something funny in my mind and it turns all maudlin in my head before I can get it out. And I don’t think it’s because the Lexapro isn’t doing the job it once was. 😉
Let’s do a rundown, shall we?
Henrietta is still convinced that Gilbert, (the older daughter’s longtime boyfriend), is the devil and frequently can be overheard muttering things about diablo and then using his name under her breath. Yesterday she told John that I was trying to give her drugs that Gilbert supplied me with that were illegal. (Mucinex DM) She also started crying a few days ago and telling John that she just KNOWS that Gilbert is bringing drugs over here and “shooting” them into him, (John). He had been to the doctor and they had taken blood and so he had a cotton ball taped to the inside of his elbow. I guess I should be proud that she thinks that we only deal with the kind of pushers that use an alcohol pad and then a sterile cotton ball and band-aid after the shooting up. We be classy like that.
She is also convinced that I am a horrible person because I won’t let her go to the hospital. She has been sick with the same virus that has worked it’s way through the rest of the family and lingered in the chests and throats and sinus cavities of each of us for two to three weeks each. She is convinced she is dying because she has a hacky little cough that bothers her a few times an hour.
I coughed like I had TB for three weeks and and had a rattle in my chest like a maraca. On a couple of the days when it was at it’s worst I stayed in bed because there were other people here that could take care of her. I heard that woman say to John, “What’s the matter with her now?” John was obviously aggravated with her when he told her I was sick, (as if she didn’t know), and she didn’t say anything else about it. But now, she is telling me that she wants to go to the hospital because she is coughing. When I tell her it’s just a virus she says, “How do you know?”, and telling her that everyone else has had the same thing and the same symptoms does not help. “Oh, Krissa… you don’t know!” She asked me to call a friend of mine that’s a nurse that lives about 20 minutes away and have her come and listen to her chest and tell her what she’s got. (As if that would settle it.) I told her no, there was no way. She said, “Well, she could take my temperature!”. I told her over and over she has no fever. She started telling me I didn’t know what I was talking about. I RAISED TWO CHILDREN. LIKE, I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE HAS FEVER!
I got the damn thermometer and took her temp. Normal. So she let that drop. But she started crying because she wanted to go to the hospital. No amount of assurance that the hospital wouldn’t take her would do. She won’t believe it. I explained that the insurance wouldn’t cover her admittance to the hospital for a cough. She just looked away and shook her head like a small child being defiant.
But, she gave up on the waterworks.
In other news…
John is not doing well at all and I am desperately hoping we can find a new way to attack his heart problems with a new pulmonary doctor and when we see him I am going to ask him if he can recommend a new cardiologist. He has been sick and barely able to function at least 50% of the time since he got out of the hospital. They are not doing anything different. Same drugs, same course of action. (None.) He hasn’t been to see the pulmonologist since he got out of the hospital because we found out the hard way that he doesn’t accept our insurance. But he is having such a hard time breathing now that we both think we have to do something new. So he will be going to see him on February 2nd.
Meanwhile his present cardiologist is saying that he should maybe consider “another line of work”, that maybe he just can’t do this anymore. As if there are all these jobs out there waiting for him to just pick one. I think John is wondering if he can do it too. I am frightened of the future and all the terribly unsure aspects of our lives.
Kessa made a small batch of hash browns the other day for her breakfast along with an egg, ham and cheese sandwich between two slices of perfectly toasted bread. She then walked over and set the plate down on a small occasional table between two chairs in our living room and, (for some totally unknown reason), went down the hall to my bedroom to talk to me for a few minutes. Leaving the sandwich innocently sitting there. On the plate. On the table. Between the two chairs.
Moments later she and I emerged from the bedroom and she exclaimed, “Baby!” I wondered why since Baby was no where to be seen.
Neither was her sandwich.
Baby was rather shy for another couple of hours, the guilty little shit.
Comment by Quixotic on January 22, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Oh Lordy, Krissa, I’m not really sure what to say about the massive load on your plate at the moment, but hang in there and I’ll say a prayer for you and John. xoxo
Comment by Mr. Corvette (aka the dog doctor) on January 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Really sorry to hear that John is still having significant heart and lung problems. Can he bark? Can he get down on his hands and knees and then lift one leg to urinate? If he meets these requirements I will be down soon to get this problem taken care of. However, very glad to hear that diabetes is no longer a complicating issue. By the way, my fees are much less than those quack MDs. (I might also be able to treat him if he can meow and scratch your eyes out with one swipe of his paw – er, hand.)
Best of luck to all of you. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Comment by Predo on January 23, 2010 at 11:59 am
Listen Sister, I don’t have any answers for you, but I can offer some advice. Divide and Conquer! Sounds funny, but when I feel the weight of the world tip in the wrong direction, I remember Grandpa’s famous saying “Worry resolves nothing!”. The point to my babble is simple. Look at one problem at a time. Divide each issue and meet them individually, full force.
Henrietta, God love her, has a cough – monitor her on the back burner and disregard the impulse to feel guilty. Pictures from Christmas are easy, they are pictures, they will keep well enough on their own. “Baby” felt bad enough about the sandwich, but I bet some laughter came of it! Laughter is the best tool in your arsenal, use if often!!!
Now to John. First, contact your insurance company and explain that your doctor does not accept their insurance. See if they will let you forward the bills so they can re-imburse you. This is not uncommon, and if they tell you no, ask for a manager. Push them, and be mean if you have too! Some of them are paid to sit on the phone and say no, call until you get one who says yes. Now, on to the Doctors. Ask around, look on the web, see who’s who in the medical field in your area. Doctors are not gods, they are people who make mistakes, get lazy, and even have moments of not knowing what they are talking about. If you get an opinion, validate it. Ask questions. “How is this supposed to be working?” “Where did you obtain the information to come to this conclusion?” “Has this worked for others in this situation, and if so, how similar were they to John?”. I bet, if they see your depth of focus, that they in turn focus. Doctors are in a business, like farmers, herd them in and herd them out. A revolving door brings in more money then one that doesn’t open. They have to know you are not just going to take a quick “guess” answer at the situation, and that you will not tolerate anything less then the full value of what you are paying them for, SERVICE!
Again, sorry to babble, and you can take this with as many grains of salt as you wish, but know one thing – You are a strong and amazing woman, and I for one am incredibly proud of you!!! Hang in there my Goddess, the sun will shine again, very soon. I can feel it!
.-= Predo´s last blog ..Hmmmm….a correction…. =-.
Comment by Chief on January 23, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Puleaze.. we havent left food out for 15 years… our dogs prey on our every move
Very scary about John. I think of him often. What ever came of the debacle with the frist DR that misdiagnosed?
Henrietta needs sedation…
Thinking of you
.-= Chief´s last blog ..That’s What She Said… "a reply" =-.
Comment by Red Hamster on January 23, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Oh Krissa, sorry to hear that John is still having health problems, and Henrietta is still being a “handful”. I couldn’t give you any better advice than Predo. IMHO, Predo has a good grasp on how insurance companies and doctors function. If you feel you aren’t getting anywhere with your current doctors…work with your insurance company to find other doctors that your insurance will cover. You may have to point out that it’s in the insurance company’s best interest to help John get better. And like Predo says, ask for a manager. The first person who answers the phone is a low-paid employee with no power. I know – I’ve been one in a past job.
Your remark on “pushers that use an alcohol pad…cotton ball…and band-aid…” was hysterical. When life is tough it’s either laugh or cry, and I’m glad you still have your sense of humor. And glad to see that Baby isn’t being neglected; she’s still getting well-fed. I’ll bet she had a huge, guilty, lop-sided smile after that sandwich.
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
.-= Red Hamster´s last blog ..Does this make me look dumb? =-.
Comment by warriorwitch on January 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
woman you do so have your hands full. i wish you had some help, some friend or neighbour or faiery folk or………..something to help you.
i’m not sure how serious you are about your stories of Henrietta. you’re probably all irate and tired and need-a-break feeling but……….them stories make me laugh.
i sit here and roar at the antics of the woman, and her ideas and her paranoia.
i’m not sure if you meant any of it in a funny ha ha, kind of way but it’s pretty funny.
if i am insensitive then i apologize (but i’m still laughing)
.-= warriorwitch´s last blog ..it was all bull =-.
Comment by JennyMac on January 23, 2010 at 6:54 pm
I know I already emailed you this, but I am sending nothing but love, prayers, and positive thoughts for you and John.
You dont need to apologize for any absence. Not necessary. We all care about you.
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..Take A Bite Of: Grilled Chocolate Sandwiches =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on January 24, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Henrietta brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “she’s being a pill”. You are a complete saint for not leaving her on somebody else’s doorstep with a note pinned to her back.
Can you even believe that you spent so many years worrying yourself sick over your CHILDREN, and now here you’re worried sick over John?! I’m assuming his current employer can’t move him to a different position that would include less stress on his body? Probably not. I hope this all works out very soon.
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..It could be worse… I could have been a T.O.A.D. mom =-.
Comment by grandma j on January 25, 2010 at 12:11 am
Krissa, Krissa….I swear I’m not laughing. Well, not at the part about John, and not at the part about your TB rattle in your chest.
Just the part about Baby and maybe Henrietta. Maybe if she had an ipod, or better yet a boyfriend. How about a kitten?
Hang in there sweetie, things can only get better. ((((hugs))))
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
Comment by tattytiara on January 25, 2010 at 3:05 am
With everything you’re juggling you hardly need a note to be excused from blogging. I’m really disappointed to hear John isn’t doing well, when the last news was so encouraging.
.-= tattytiara´s last blog ..Where did I put that list of titles? =-.
Comment by Burgh Baby on January 25, 2010 at 11:59 am
That sounds like the kind of sandwich I would steal as well. Can’t say that I blame Baby . . .
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..Finding Her Purpose =-.
Comment by Semi-Slacker Mom on January 25, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Oh please don’t tell me Lexapro quits working like Wellbutrin. I just switched!
Henrietta sounds like a joy. Hope you can get some good news on John soon.
.-= Semi-Slacker Mom´s last blog ..Chuck E. Cheese Hell’s probably worse =-.
Comment by noe noe girl on January 25, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Damn girl. your plate is way too full. sorry to hear this about John. I will keep you guys in my prayers.
At least Baby is happy.
Hang in there chickie.
Comment by Ree on January 25, 2010 at 9:59 pm
You guys are in my thoughts.
.-= Ree´s last blog ..1982 – The Birth of the Hotfessional Dream =-.
You must be logged in to post a comment.