Remember my plans to take it easy and chill out on Easter Sunday? Well, I was well into doing that and just hanging out in my nightgown cause, hey, I could. And John won’t be off work until late. Henrietta plans on staying in bed and watching a DVD of The Stations of The Cross. So I am on my hands and knees in my raggedy nightgown, scrubbing the bathroom floor, (around the toilet, no less) flitting around the house in my finest lingerie when what happens? The *&^%$#! doorbell rings. I looked out the window and I don’t recognize the car, can’t see the front porch from where I am and so I walk over and snatch the door open because whoever is showing up on Easter UNANNOUNCED deserves to see me like this and smell the bleach emminating from my hands and knees. (Plus they need to be appreciative of the fact that there is no pee on the floor in my guest bathroom.)
There, followed by her SIX children is Henrietta’s grand-daughter. The one that shows up once or twice every few years.
She said, “Sorry, I didn’t call, I lost the number.”
Dude, we are LISTED.
“We’re just going to pay a short visit.”
I was not the least bit apologetic about my appearance and the state of things. I told her H was on the bed pan, which she was and the smell of poop probably snuck in and visited her as soon as I went in and hauled her off of it.
*Why does spell check say “snuck” is not a word? It most certainly is… English According to Krissa. Look it up.*
Of course then I had to dress her and put her in the wheel chair and the whole nine yards.
Those six kids must have completed the circuit of living room, breakfast area, kitchen, dining room, foyer, living room, breakfast area, kitchen, dining room, foyer… etc., a milliondy-two times.
She got here at 3:00. It is now 3:53. She is here to see her Mimi, not me. I am trying to be ensconced in the riffraff room by myself, only “they” keep running in here.
Soon I will scoop out my eyeballs with a spoon.
I can see into my dining room from here and there are children hiding under the table and pulling the tablecloth down to hide themselves. I have all my bill paying crap all over the table. (Did I mention I wasn’t expecting company?) An avalanche of paperwork slid off the table and onto the floor.
Kids scattered like cockroaches.
The bathroom door just opened and kids came out. If there is pee on the floor in there I will hurt someone.
All I was waiting for was H to do the poo thing so I could put in the DVD for her and I could go and take a bath and clean up for John to come home.
It is 4:10 and I just heard her say that they have to get going.
Now? How ’bout now? Oh, come on! Now?
It’s 4:11 now.
I’m not having fun. Please comment and tell me about your good holiday experience.
Comment by Predo on April 12, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Nothing much, just plotting the take over of the world. Will clue you in later, when I get to mapping out my move for iceland! Happy Easter Sunshine!!!! Can I get you a drink while a draw you a bubble bath? The three gentleman are awaiting you on the massage table, and the chef is planning your diner menu.
Predo’s last blog post..Turning 90
Comment by Jean M. on April 12, 2009 at 4:49 pm
OMG! Why do people have to be so inconsiderate? It’s one thing to come over with your 6 kids but it’s another to show up announced.
Can I get you a stiff drink?
Jean M.’s last blog post..In 3 Words
Comment by Marylin on April 13, 2009 at 6:36 am
Damn! I hope you made a snide remark as they left about arranging something PROPERLY next time. >_<
Marylin’s last blog post..The one where you hear my Scottish accent…
Comment by Karen on April 13, 2009 at 7:44 am
You know, as you’re the one taking care of H, you’d think the family would have a bit more respect for you and your home. Apparently not. Sorry.
Karen’s last blog post..Easter is a Time for Miracles
Comment by Roger on April 13, 2009 at 9:35 am
Good Times, good times!!
I would have shown the granddaughter how to clean up H, myself. Then again, I can be a mean son of a gun.
Our Easter was good, Mass at 8, filling eggs at 9:30, Mass again at 11:15 (the kids were singing at this one. Jenni and I had the readings and announcements at 8), then we went and took some pictures with Jenni’s new toy (a camera that she got for her birthday – ain’t I nice?), then we had dinner brought to us by my FIL, because my MIL wasn’t feeling too good. Then we hid the eggs in our back yard that the EB left at Nana and Poppa’s house, ate dinner and watched two new movies; Ice Age 2: The Meltdown, and Night at the Museum.
There was even poop. Danny didn’t make it in time – probably my fault, because I was watching the movie, but all was good. Poor kid didn’t want me to tell anyone what happened. So, you don’t know, if he asks, okay? 🙂
Roger’s last blog post..A Quickie!
Comment by Kori on April 13, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Let’s see…I stayed up really late on Sat. night making homemade (HOME FREAKING MADE!!!) lemmon curd as the sauce for my fruit pizza, because it had to cool, and then had a little bit of, um, Private Time with Steve which was ruined by the EARLY arrival of, as Xbx says, The Red Menace, then overslept because Steve got up with Owen (can anyone say hallelujah? He says it was because I was SNORING so loud, but meh, he lies), so then we were rushed because I had to make the “sauce” for the OTHER fruit pizza and then cut the fruit and make them look gorgeous. then we went to my surrogate family’s house where a newcomer (to us) made a play for Steve (and HE is also named Kori only spelled different, so at least if Steve decided to take HIM up on HIS offer, there wouldn’t be that awkward silence if the wrong name was called), where the lamb was RAW and not one person even tasted the pizza. Off to Steve’s family gathering where the only person who ate the pizza was the one person who didn’t know me, so I had to come home and eat the fucking pizza myself. Oh, and I got in a fight with my best friend and now SHE hates me, too. Good times, good times.
Kori’s last blog post..Going Private
Comment by Kori on April 13, 2009 at 12:15 pm
And aren’t you glad you asked?
Comment by Jennifer on April 13, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Little late to the party… what time did they end up leaving? I had just the opposite happen. People didn’t show that said they would and those that did, were late. I could have planned an entirely different day had I known how it would go. Wasn’t a happy girl… Hope the rest of your day went well. Good dinner…?
Jennifer’s last blog post..The Best Laid Plans…
Comment by nng on April 13, 2009 at 7:36 pm
I hade Lots of company…unannounced. I cooked and drank too much…again. Are we related?
Comment by Ree on April 13, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I cleaned out a flower bed and drank vodka. Oh, and went for a hike with the dog. I definitely did NOT clean up pee. 😉
I hope they left by 4:12
Ree’s last blog post..MM – Food & Beverage
Comment by trannyhead on April 13, 2009 at 10:31 pm
That’s so awful – I would have ripped this person a new one. Ok, maybe a few new ones.
trannyhead’s last blog post..The Bunny Broke His Back Delivering This Hawtness To My House
Comment by witchypoo on April 14, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Nothing much here. Cooked a ham and tackled a cheesecake I bought with a friend.
ABB was at church, but it wasn’t really Easter at his church, it was Palm Sunday, and he has to got to church every evening this week because it’s Holy Week.
witchypoo’s last blog post..How I Killed My Grampie
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