Archive for the ‘ WOO-HOO ’ Category

AND I CAN DO IT WITHOUT SWEATING!

I have been taking Amberen for six weeks now and my hot flashes stopped after two.

However, before I started taking it, the paint right here, on the wall in HACK, was starting to blister due to the incendiary hot flashes I was experiencing. Not to mention the state of my bed on any given night. It was awash in sweat, tangled limbs and tossed off clothing.

Hummm, that sounds kinda hawt.  It was SO NOT.

And while having your wife sleep neck-ed may sound like a great idea to any husband, all the tossing and turning, huffing and puffing and yelling, “YOU’RE TOUCHING ME!”, anytime he rolled over my direction really did get a little old a little fast. I think I can safely speak for John when I say this.

I am a mere 47 years old, peoples. I have been having hot-flashes, at least some, since I was 45. You have no idea how severe these things got.

I was not allowed into crowded theaters.

I could slip into a cool tub of water and steam up my bathroom.

I seriously considered moving into an apartment by myself so I could run around neck-ed all the time.  Except for the guys that deliver takeout, I would have NO visitors. No way was I going to cook. Yeah. Those guys would just have to suck it up and get over it.

I had nightmares about spontaneously combusting only to awaken and find that there was a very real danger of it. If only I weren’t so damp.

The dogs were not allowed to sit on my lap. I was… sticky.

Life sucked and then, after one particularly whiny post about my hot flashes this strange guy, named Adam Hodson (By “strange” I mean unknown, and in no way intend to insinuate that Mr. Hodson is anything more or less than a superhero an upstanding American citizen.), wrote me an email and told me about Amberen. So I went to the website, investigated, googled it and and asked the dogs what they thought. It was unanimous. I got my three months worth and started taking them.

I swear, within two weeks I had stopped having hot flashes. Now my energy level is up there where it was years ago and John would boast that when he rolls over in bed and accidentally brushes against me I don’t shriek in his ear.

Yes. Life is like a dream here at the HalfAsstic House. :-)

Vacation!

Well, here I sit.  I bet you people thought you must have heard the last of me, huh?  It’s been a while!  I headed out of town on Monday to go and visit Mither and Pop.  Along with my entire immediate family!  John and both girls plus The Boyfriend for bonus!

The reason I never posted to tell you dear people that I was jumping ship was because this trip was SUPPOSED to be a secret and a huge surprise for Nana.  She knew Kes and Keelan and The Boyfriend were going to visit with her, but had no idea that I had made arrangements for H to be taken care of by my SIL and John had vacation and all the planets aligned just right and we were all going to go and be there together for the first time in years.

Sadly, I can’t seem to keep a secret, Kessa slipped up and her nana suspected that maybe John and I were going to come, too.  So, when I blew it and practically spelled it out for her when I accidently gave up a clue, she figured it out.  This was just a couple of days before we left and I was embarassed to tell the kids, because I had threatened them with certain death if they let her know and FOR ONCE they were actually scared of me I had expressed such a strong desire to keep it a secret and cautioned them…strongly, to keep it to themselves.

So Mither was in the know when  we got there.  Oh well.

We had a ball and did all sorts of things.  Not to mention we got to go and see the “new” house that’s in town and Mither and Pop have decided they want to buy.  The place they live now is so wonderful it’s hard to describe, truely a paradise, yet, it’s sooo much too much for them to have to take care of anymore.  The house is gi-normous and the acerage is too.

Time to downsize.  So this needs to be sold.  Please take a sec and click the “button” in the middle and look at all 10 shots of their place.  Tip of the iceberg.

What I’m trying to point out here is that while they are needing to downsize… BAD, it must also be a truly wonderful house.  Or as Kessa and Keelan are fond of saying, “Nana-licious”.  I’m not sure, as it’s a fairly new word and Webster’s doesn’t know about it yet, but it may be spelled Nanalicious.  I will be talking with their people any day about the next updated version of that particular dictionary.

Moving right along…

Enter the new house that Mither and Pop have their hearts set on: here.  Yes, go ahead and look at all the pics of it and tell me…  Even though the bizarre realtor seemed to be fixated on the bathrooms and the outside(?), the inside is indeed wonderful.  We broke into it took our own tour, twice and took a million pictures.  I WILL be posting some of those in a future postypoo.  They are still not even off of my camera.

Now, nobody is to dare  consider buying this particular house… (Sush!  I can too dictate this!)  But if you would like to buy Mither and Pop’s present house, I am sure they would be delighted and the “new” house is just right in town and I could come and visit you when I go and see them!  And I would, too!

Well people, this is enough for today.  I have to get these pictures downloaded and catch up on some blogs!  I am sorry I haven’t been reading, but I was visiting!

I’ll post again, soon!  Free toes, everybody!

I had a perfectly wonderful good decent acceptable post pulled together that was going to go up today, only all this other stuff happened that was MUCH better to talk about!

First of all I have been honored with a distinction of unequalled measure.  Witchypoo from over at Psychicgeek, has bestowed the coveted, (I’m guessing, cause gee, it’s really neato), Charming Award on me.  Yup.  It’s right here on me… trust me.  No, not really, you should probably never do that… at least with anything important. ;-)

Aaaaanywho, there are directions with it to confuse my mushy little brain astound and amaze us all.  Prepare to applaud, whilst I exersize my copying and pasting skills.

Charming Award!

Charming Award!

Charming Award!

This award is given to the writers of blogs that “are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

Now, I am going to name my eight peeps and you really should stand and applaud.  Go ahead, nobody’s looking!  NO!  A golf clap will NOT do.  These kind souls deserve better than that!  I want to be able to hear it in south Texas.

That’s better.  (Cause I know you’re doing it, right?)

Ahem,

Angie of Big Hair Envy fame

Janet From The Planet of Janet

Tink at Pickled Beef

Kori at See Kori Rant

Predo at Spartacus Wore A Skirt

Karen at The Rocking Pony

Jean at Working Momma 247

Marylin at A Little Space For Me

THEN, as if this humongous privilege wasn’t enough, good ol’ Angie of Big Hair Envy tells me that she has drawn my name as one of the two winners of her “Pay it Forward” contest.

I am delighted about this and it’s going to be so much fun!

Here’s the exact, (cut and paste), wording of the famous Angie, herself, explaining the details of Pay It Forward.  It’s really quite easy.

I’m going to Pay It Forward to two commenter who leave me a message saying they would like to participate. I will randomly select the winners, and each will receive a gift from me! YAY! The only catch is that YOU must Pay It Forward on YOUR blog. Easy. Peasy.

Who’s in?
So there it is!  Just leave a comment saying you’re interested in playing and I’ll enter you into the contest!
Soon I’ll be receiving a gift from Angie and I’ll take photos and post all about it!
I’M EXCITED!
ALSO!  While delivering all this good news I have one more thing to toss out there!  I received an email from my dear brother, Cam the other day saying that there are new and different things available with his Periodic Table of Typeface on it!  I particuarily love the moleskine book cover!  There is a myraid of other things on the site that have been done with it.  Go check it out!
Stay tuned for an episode of “Stupid Criminals” next time! :-)

Hoppy Easter!

Well, people, it’s been a while since I spat out whipped out a post and in retrospect it doesn’t seem like there’s too much to say.  But, let’s dig deeper… shall we?

The other day I decided to cook a chicken, rotisserie style, on the grill.  We have the gizmo that you plug in and it turns the bird on a spit via an electric box bolted to the side of our monstrosity of a grill.

This, in and of itself, is not that noteworthy.  However, I would pay big bucks, (if I had them), to have had someone take footage of me trying to get that damn chicken on that spit.  That sucker is 45″ long.  I looked like a dwarf trying to maneuver that stupid chicken onto that spit and not skewer anything or anyone else, (including myself).  WAY harder than you’d think!  I never never would have thought it would be so awkward.

See the two prong things.  Well you, (and of course by “you” I mean me), have to tighten one of them on there at the right spot that the chicken needs to be on the grill and then ram the bird down on top of them impaling it and not any part of yourself, most specifically your hands.  And, once again, by “you” and “yours”, I mean ME!

Then, you slide the other pokie thing down on the other end of the chicken, shoving it hard so that it impales the damn thing as you cuss and laugh manically.  Then tighten it down with a pair of pliers because your hands are too sore from multiple stab wounds to do it without them.

After shoving placing the spit into the hole of the turning deal and and resting the other end in the… other end receptacle, I flipped the switch on and left it alone on low for a solid hour.  It was about an 8 pound chicken.

It took every bit of that time to clean my kitchen with anti-bacterial spray everywhere some sort of raw chicken/chicken juice squirted and/or landed.  That was several days ago and I still don’t feel entirely clean.  I am probably a walking salmonella factory.

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I am now watching Craig Ferguson and it’s a rerun, (So much for up to the minute reporting.  Snort!), and he’s saying that Michelle Obama “TOUCHED the queen.”  I am guessing he’s talking about The Queen of England.  He’s acting like it was a mistake and a horrible faux paus, however he tends to be a tad sarcastic and facetious at the least, when it comes to anyone English. (He IS Scottish.)

I’m still wondering what the story is?  And how do you “make up” for “touching” somebody?

Henrietta had a visitor today.  Her next door neighbor from her old neighborhood that she hasn’t seen in about 5 years came to see her today.    My SIL, to her credit, brought her out to see her.   She was absolutely beside herself with joy.  It was so funny, she saw her from across the room right  when she entered the doorway and she practically yelled, “Barbara!”  They sat and talked for hours and hours.  It really did make Henrietta’s week to be able to sit and chat and get caught up on all the neighborhood gossip.  Especially what’s going on in the house she and Marcos lived in for close to 50 years.  Her eye’s grew huge as Barb related tales of how the woman that lives there with the three grown men is married to one of them, but she goes out partying till all hours of the night with the other ones and she’s had two babies since she’s been there and nobody in the neighborhood knows whose children they are!    THIS? Is exactly the kind of crapola Henrietta lives for.

She will be talking about this visit and all the accompanying gossip for a solid week.  To me.  And the really funny part will be the way the stories will grow and grow in her mind as time passes.  Eventually, her house will have become a brothel with a line of men outside and circling the block.

I will keep you appraised of the situation.  It’s only right. :-)

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The… boyfriend-in-law was outside giving my yard a makeover.  That’s about the only way to describe the before and after shots that make a jungle look tame.  It was VERY bad.  He showed up about 1:00 and finished and left at 4:00.  Three hours to mow and weed-eat a front and back yard the size of mine if ridiculous.  THAT is how bad it was.

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Tomorrow is Easter and do ya wanna know what my plans are?  Do ya, huh, do ya?  Get a load of this!

Nothing.

The SIL and her bunch of people that descend on my house for every holiday, to consume as much as possible of everything I cook and then leave as soon as they’ve eaten, are… otherwise engaged.  Where?  Who cares.  It is going to be quiet and I might put a ham in the oven.  I might not.  I might cook the Easter bunny if he pisses me off.

WOO-HOO!  Reel me in, I am COMPLETELY out of control.

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Last night I called Mither and asked her what she was doing.  She told me she was about to watch a Maverick’s basketball game.

I had better preface this little rambling with the fact that there has never been a bigger Dallas Maverick’s fan than both Mither and Auntie-Poo.

Aaaaanyway, she mentioned to me, (not for the first time), at some point in our conversation that she was not supposed to be talking to anyone on the phone when the game is on because Auntie-Poo might call and yell at her if she wasn’t paying good attention to the game and couldn’t keep up with what Antie-Poo was talking about.

We laughed about this, just because they are both fairly hopeless and then I told her I was going to wait until the game started and I was going to call Auntie-Poo and chat aimlessly to her for a while and then call her back several times.  Just cause I’m that way.  Ya know?

All of the sudden I heard evil laughter and Mither said that I should call her at exactly 8:30 then she would call her at 8:33 and when Auntie-Poo told her she was on the other line talking to me, Mither would yell at her that she WAS NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ON THE PHONE WITH ANYONE ELSE DURING THE BALL GAMES!

So I did this and all went to plan and when Aunti-Poo came back to me after Mither called her I asked who it was and she said, “Oh, it was your mother and she told me I have to get off the line cause the basketball game is on.”  We both agreed it was absurd that SHE have to get off the line and when I told her that we set her up to be caught she decided that she would have all my cousins call Mither one at a time, just to “chat”, during the game.  There are four of them.

That was the last I’ve heard of them.  I haven’t talked to either one of them today and they are out of pocket.  I left messages for both of them to call me, so I will follow up sometime.

Sometimes I wonder at the mechanics of this family.

The latest from chez Lopez

Up to the minute reporting, that’s what I’m all about.  heh

Today has been a really good day.  Right now I’m sitting here in my comfy chair in the living room with the furry little dog wedged in beside me.  She won’t be caught far from my side at any given time, but when I have been gone for a while during the day she becomes almost physically connected.  Neurotic little shit.

H is reciting her rosary in her room, the kids are upstairs and John is asleep in his chair beside me.  And he made me a cocktail before nodding off.

*sigh*

It really doesn’t matter how the day was anyway.  Right now all the pieces are falling into place.

I watched Slumdog Millionaire last night.  Very, very late when everyone else was asleep.  I really enjoyed it and all I can think to say is I want to see it again and be able to pay more attention.  I was tired and ready for sleep long before it was over, but I was really in to it and didn’t want to turn it off.

We went to Kohl’s today and I ran into Kes and Keelan’s kindergarten teacher.  I haven’t seen her in about 13 years and she is still just as cute and little as she used to be.

The bitch. ;-)

On a different note, we picked up two new ties for John and a casual shirt.  Plus, when we went to Palais Royal I found a bright red eyelet shirt on clearance for $4.98, and another paisley shirt for $16.80 that was on sale also.  But, the really big news?  The red eyelet shirt, was a medium.  Woo-Hoo!  If I can just keep losing I’ll be back in a small in… well… someday.

I got my camera… stolen?  I think it must have been, either that or just fell out of my purse.  Anyway, I have been camera-less for a while now and must remedy this.  Perhaps tomorrow.  John and I looked at several little Kodak and Sony camera’s today and I plan to make up my mind and just get one.  Soon.

The dog beside me is getting fatter all the time and she keeps wriggling as she sits here trying to make more room.  One of us is going to have to move.  Her.

Henrietta got a visit from the priest today.  He comes about twice a year to deliver communion and hear confession.  The little lady that normally gives out the communion was with him also and they had a very nice visit.  When I was putting her to bed, with a gleam in her eye, she said, “Father anointed me with oil, so I’m ready to go.”  I asked her where and she said, “You know!”, and laughed.  She has been talking more about dying lately and I just wonder if she knows something, subconsciously that we don’t.