HalfAsstic.com

I just heard the news and again they were discussing the astronaut that let her tool bag float away while working on the space station.  It is reported to have cost a hundred thousand dollars.  This has me thinking of so many questions my leetle head hurts.

Number one, When you are going to send a bag of tools up with a bunch of super geeks to work on things in zero gravity, wouldn’t you consider that maybe it would be good to have something on the bag of tools to tie it off with.  I mean it just seems like it would make working on the space station go much smoother to be able to use both hands instead of one holding the bag and one the tool.  I think NASA needs to hire me to speak for the moral practical majority.  I have tons of good advise for them.

As for the cost of that bag of tools, I’m thinking… Makita?  Snap On?  I mean I cannot conceive of any brand of tools that costs as much as they spent OR couldn’t do what needs to be done in outer space.

So where DO they shop for tools?  Or was it the bag?  If it was the actual bag that costs that much I’m guessing it’s from a high dollar store on 5th Avenue and a knock-off can be found on Harwin here in Houston for a teeny, tiny fraction of the cost.

When NASA hires me that is going to be the first thing I reccomend.

If this much incompetence isn’t enough, when the news guy was finishing up the story he pointed out that the Space Station had been a temporary home for 10 years to people from 15 different continents.

I’ve done what I can and now give up.

I swear, I KNEW there was something missing from the half ass post, (HA! HALF ASS!), I threw up last night. I will post again today later, as I think this is a bit of a cop out. (As if the trite, drivel I’ve been throwing up hasn’t been… Whatever!)
Actually, I couldn’t remember how to “embed” and all that techno crap. (Figured it out. Easy-peasy.)
For your viewing pleasure. Plus I am hoping that I can pass this along and get the song out of my head… even if it has to go into yours! Yeah. Sorry ’bout that. (No I’m not.)

Just me, Cam again (Krissa’s brother for any newcomers out there) and just a quick post to say that Krissa’s electricity is back up and running but still no phone, cable or internet. At least they’ve got air conditioning again!

Hello intertubes!  I am back with a quick update!

Nothing too spectacular has happened since the last time I announced the goings on here at the Nut House.  How bouts a quickie update?  Too bad, here it is:

• John was off yesterday and we ran amuck.  The caregiver provider stayed here with H and we were muckyrunning aaaaall over the place.  For gasoline to be so freakin’ expensive, we were WILD!  heh heh.  We made it to Macy’s to see if there were any good deals to be had and sure enough, John’s ultra sensitive nose for economical spending steered us to a few new ties for him.  His butt cheeks made a squeaking noise as we walked over to where the tie sale rack sits.  He is always needing new neck-wear, as he isn’t that easy on his ties.  We got three $45.00 Donald Trump ties for just $5.63 a piece.  He wore one of them today, but here are the other two.

They look a little pink here.  Actually they are dark red.

Here is the proof!  With tax, $18.28 for three Donald Trump ties.

The trick at Macy’s is to find the stuff that’s on sale and take it over to the price checker thing and start scanning anything that you are remotely interested in because they are really good/bad about either mispricing or just not putting correct signage out for the sale products.  And the prices are SO good that I think they are probably just making mistakes when they are pricing, but it works out great for us almost every time we go.  My sweet little miser husband pulled out his dusty, cobweb covered wallet and paid $18.28 for all three.  Good deal!

• Hurricane Dolly made landfall sometime yesterday evening, I think, and we finally started getting some much needed rain from it.  It is still raining off and on.  Woo-Hoo!

• My brother in Italy isn’t.  In Italy, that is.  He arrived last night at my parents house in Decatur, Tx and I am hoping we will be able to meet up with all of them on Wednesday for a visit.

• Henrietta is still catheter-free and letting her hoo-hoo rest.   I asked her how it was getting on and she pulled a super serious face and replied, “Oh, it’s doing very well, thank you!”, and then burst out laughing.  Last nigh she asked me if I would close the blinds for her in her room and I said sure and was doing so and she said, “Now make sure they’re closed up tight…”.  and I said I thought they were and no one could see in that little slit, and she replied, ” I might be able to get out through there, tho…”.   I said, “You?” To which she looked sly and said, “Krissa, I don’t have any bag to hold me back, now!  You don’t know what I might do!”

• Be on the lookout for a catheter free little old lady in a nightgown.

• I just totally told off a lady who called here from Dell Computers asking me if the problem we were having last Sunday was resolved.  I told her no, we still haven’t been able to get it to recognize the disc drive.  She said something like, “Oh.”, and immediately changed the subject a bit by asking me how it was doing otherwise.  I told her, “Actually it’s running slow.  My husband and I were discussing it last night and he and I have both tried all the little tricks that used to make a difference in the past with no luck.”  (Keep in mind that it’s a year old next month.  In other words, THE WARRANTY IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE AND NO MORE “FREE” TECH SUPPORT)  She came back with, “Well, I see here you bought it with only 2GB of memory and that really isn’t enough to support Vista.”

This is where I got ticked off.

“No.  It supports Vista just fine and has for almost a year now.  It only started running slow just lately.”

She proceeded to tell me that if I ever wanted to get it to run well again I needed to purchase some RAM from her.  Now.  On the phone.  Or forever be delegated to computer hell.

“No one told me it was insufficient to support Vista when I bought it.”  She comes back with a snappy, “Oh, uh, well?”

I told her no thank you we’re not sinking any more money into it because we’re getting an Apple.

That got her off the line.  She was originally calling to sell me another warranty.

• I am taking this opportunity to apologize for the lack of substance in this post.  THAT is the state of my life, lately.  Substance free…and applesauce free.

OK, I guess you can’t really call this a “post” so much as a “bring to your attention statement”.  But, see, that would have made a lousy name up there in the title place.

Here’s the dealy-o.  Hy brother, Cam, has whipped up a button for me and included a handy dandy batch of code to go with it.  I am humbly begging, imploring, AND beseeching inviting anyone who feels stirred to do so to include it in their sidebar.  Hey, I’d do it for you!

I have to admit something now and I’m almost not ashamed to do it.  I know there is probably a 12 step program somewhere out there to help me, but I’m just not to that point yet.  You know, how you have to sink to the bottom to get to where you are ready to be helped?  Well I am admitting I am a bit of a comment whore, but I just want comments now.  No intervention.  Yet.

So if you read and have never commented, help support my habit, needs and leave a comment.  Oh, and try to be nice.  But if you can’t I’ll try to understand.  I feel much better now, having shared.

How do you explain my readership going up on the days that I have nothing to say and the post sucks.  Yesterday, for instance.  I had a good deal more people on here and a lot of new people, (that I am sure were wondering why they bothered), and I have no idea what brought this on.  Except it was to make me feel guilty for hashing out writing such a shitty post.  That’s “shitty”….not “witty”.- Like I had to explain…

Is it just me or is Grey’s Anatomy getting more and more whiny and obnoxious.  I know it’s off season and there are no new ones on right now, but I gotta tell ya’, I stopped watching consistently about half way through last season just due to over all whining.  That Meridith chick, in particular.  She’s a whiny little squirt and she walks like a man.  Unattractive, overall.

Henrietta is in her room just chatting up a storm.  I am going to go see who she thinks she is talking to.

I’m back and it was the movie she was watching.  Fool’s Gold.  She is….an active participant in anything she is watching, whether it is the news or a movie.  She talks to the tv about everything she is seeing as if she is explaining to someone who can’t see or hear what is going on.  And she asks questions, of the tv, as if she expects an answer from it.  This is why it is so hard to watch a good movie with her in the room.

I am sweating my ass off down here and I just went upstairs and those girls have their thermostat set on 71 and it is freezing up there.  I don’t know why cause 71 down here is enough to bake you.  They are digital thermostats, is it possible they are that inaccurate?

Anyway, I turned it up to 74. Heh heh heh.

John is off work today and he decided last night that he was going to cook breakfast today and we were having  bacon, eggs, and gravy.  I don’t ususally do “breakfast”, I do “coffee”.  About noon I break into a bowl of Honeynut Cheerios.  I am intrigued as to what this is going to bring.  Hopefully not retching.  No, he really is a good cook, so I’ve got no worries.

I totally didn’t intend to post anything today.  Just not even bother.  I am bored and mildly cranky, and this is what I’m down to.  Boring you with… what?  Oh.  I forgot.  I have to actually have something to SAY.  Whatev.

Was over at Moo’s Moo earlier and she has an interesting idea that I am very enthused about her pursuing.  She is toying with throwing up a mommy forum of some sort for moms to discuss speech problems of their developing toddlers.  Looking around there are lots of people hitting her site and linking to other sites that are popular with moms with this problem.  They’re not all originating at her site, but when you link to the ones she mentions it is evident that there are a lot of moms out there that are very concerned and want to hear from other mothers with similar issues.

The general consensus of the commenters was very positive and supportive, but, she is concerned with how to do it.  She says she isn’t computer savy enough.  I hope she finds the help she needs.  Anybody?

Well, we are a perverse little lot, are we not?  I have had some strange hits since I last did a rundown of google entries that led the unsuspecting lookie-loo to my cozy corner of the intertubes.  I believe the date of the last update was….May 19.  Just a little over a month, so what could possibly be new?  Let’s see.

Krissa Lopez got another 105 hits.  As I explained before, this is a bit of a cheat as there is a fairly popular southwest artist named Krissa Lopez and try as I may I CANNOT figure out how to get in touch with her.  It’s been a while since I attempted to find an email address via the websites, but I know I never could before.

All other new searches got 1 hit each with the notable exception of “boobs” which got, (drum roll please), 2.

Here they are:

“toenail fungus”

34 year old mommy

aaaah boobs (not to be confused with “boobs”)

asian cum tube (eh, wha?  Oh yes!  the Cum Laude award!)

big ass tic

boobs and legs

boobs phone number

chapped arse  (You should know that the person looking this up was from Scotland…I don’t know why, but that puts it somewhat in perspective for me…)

confessions of a pioneer woman

dents in shin

export smoke

girls shave head

half ass teenager  (I’ve seen my share)

half assed cat food

halfasstic (Gee…ya think?)

long legs and boobs

long nails

my name is krissa

paralyzed teenager bladder control (awwww)

partially blind in one eye dmv

pioneer underwear

what happens in a cavity search  (oh dear)

www.halfantic.com

www.halfasstic.com  (really?!)

I would like to point out that my readers are a varied group of people and probably not nearly as sick and depraved as this makes it sound.  This is what I tell myself.

When we, (my whole family), were putting our collective heads together to come up with a name for this blog, I wanted “halfass” and I thought it wasn’t taken just because when you entered it in the address area it had no takers. My brother straightened me out and had me doing domain name searches the proper way. But on our way to the half ass tic website you are now reading we came up with a lot of different names. I wish I still had that piece of paper. The top contender in my mind, (until my brother came up with HalfAsstic), was www.VoraciousVerbage.com. I still think it would be a really neat name for a blog and I hope somebody else does, too and takes it. I realize spell check doesn’t recognize “verbage” as a word, But! when I checked on Dictionary.com, this is what I found:

verbage spelling, jargon
/ver’b*j/ A deliberate misspelling and mispronunciation of verbiage that assimilates it to the word “garbage”. Compare content-free. More pejorative than “verbiage”.

Now, I thought that the spelling of verbage assimilating to the word garbage was particularly telling. And pretty much told the same story the name “HalfAsstic” did. Not that it’s the story that everyone, (or even anyone else), would want to tell. But! I do think it’s a cool name.

OK, this is strange. I just checked my Analytics page and somebody in Maine found me google-style by searching for “horse gestation 350 days”. I wondered how far up google’s butt you’d have to get before you came by that entry so I googled it too. My link is at the very bottom of page 5. Now how could you not have a reasonable question about horse gestation answered by the end of page 5?

Oh. Just checked and they read two pages anyway, that’s funny.

Is it pc to talk about, Is there an unwritten law that blogger-people don’t talk about their tracking thingys? Cause come to think of it I haven’t really noticed anybody else doing it ever, with the exception of commenting on readership being up or down. Of course, they’re probably more secure than I am…