Archive for the ‘ Politically incorrect ’ Category

Not toooo random…just varied.

Little bratty baby brother, Cam has hooked up with Scribble on Everything to reproduce his phenomenally popular Periodic Table of Typefaces into a wall decal.   Click on the pic of it at the Scribble website to see the different colors it comes in.  I myself like the “chocolate brown”.  Cam is going to be getting a little piece of the profits from the sale of them.  Go!  Buy!  My nephew needs college fund money!

There are going to be other things in the works here soon also if the wall decals aren’t your style  Among them posters and some nifty leather book jackets with the table printed across the entire thing.

I was sitting in the office, (a.k.a. riffraff room), when I overheard Henrietta talking to Tanya as she rolled her into the living room and, apparently, Ellen was on tv.

“You know, it’s such a shame she decided to become a lesbian… she was such a good actress.”

For a split second you could hear a pin drop as both Tanya and I digested this and then we just fell out and must have laughed and snickered for a good two minutes.

When I was on Twitter the other day I ran across a website I really like that Timebandit put up.  He says he can’t take the credit for finding it since a friend of his in Seattle sent it to him.  However he gets credit for it from me since I don’t know his friend in Seattle.  Check it out!

Witchypoo over at Psychicgeek linked me up with Schmutzie, who was so inspiring I made a few vows to myself.  Go read her post and watch the video on her site.

I’m thinking maybe I can stop trying so hard to write only light heartedly and get a little more gritty from time to time.  At least I’m trying to convince myself that no one would run away screaming if I did more than just occasionally bitch and get pissy about things when they go wrong.  I tend to rely too much on finding the humor in whatever situation I am plunged in.  Cause, really?  That’s not always possible.  And then?  I’m left with nothing to write about.

So now I guess you’re expecting me to be grateful for the fact that I live with two teenage girls and change the shitty diapers of a little old lady daily…  Heh!  Yeah.  Blog fodder! 😉

Apparently this is boob themed.

This morning I had a conversation with Lisa in which she informed me that she was feeding her fish.  Naked.

Needless to say I had a lot of comebacks to this and then she told me they were all excited because they thought they were going to be breast fed.

I would have just gone back to sleep, but I really don’t think I could have.  And really?  Can’t even imagine the nightmares that were possible.  Scarred. For. Life.

The other day, after realizing that I had been missing one of my favorite bras for a couple of days and was about to REALLY go through the dirty clothes hamper and wash EVERYTHING, I happened to look over at John’s side of the bed and notice that he had attempted to decorate the area.


What’s so brassiere bizarre is that I hadn’t noticed it there for at least 24 hours.

Polling, polling… now I'm polling.

Ok the latest debate/gossip around the coffee pot with the girlfriends and I is a touchy little question that has come up in one of our lives.  I will not say who.  Persecute Protect the innocent. Yeah.  That’s what I’m all about. heh

Please chime in and leave your honest opinion, even if you have never commented before, PLEASE leave one this time.  (I am trying to make you feel as if you owe me this.  Is it working?)  This whole debate really needs settling before any of us will just BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE DAMN SUBJECT ALREADY!  Oops… was I shouting?  I don’t want to scare you away, dear.  Now just sit back down and relax.  There, comfy?  Good, now turn the phone off and pay close attention.

Here is question # 1 for expert consideration:

When a person of one sex text’s another person of the other sex every night and says, “I’m going to bed now.  Good night.  Sweet dreams.”, is that considered “pillow talk” or just being friendly?

Question # 2 is this:

When the person receiving the texts is a happily married individual, and of course the person doing the texting is not the spouse, is it inappropriate?

OK, ready?  GO!

Yesterday, a mere eighteen days into NaBloPoMo, I forgot to post.  Actually I remembered, but by that time it was after midnight, so what the hell…

It was all John’s fault as he was off yesterday and I am always distracted by him when he’s off work.  I suppose that is as it should be… BUT IT’S STILL HIS FAULT.

We went running around and the caregiver person was here for her three hours so it was kinda nice.  I went back up to the eyeglasses place and complained bitterly about mine and they went to great lengths to explain that this is the way they are supposed to be and my eyes will get used to them.  I have 90 days and if I’m not completely satisfied, well, I get a do-over.

Do-over’s are great.  I wish do-overs came with everything I do.

Lisa called me today and when I answered the phone I said “Hello, Lopez residence, maid speaking.”

And, of course she said something to the effect of, “Where is that bitch?!”

To which I replied, “She’s out and I gotta clean this entire shithole before she gets home.”

Lisa replied, “And this is the maid?”  And then she started trying to speak Spanish to me and I got lost and I KNOW she was.  I told her, “I no speaky the English, and I no understandy you Spanish either, sista!”  Then it got so politically incorrect that the intertubes are not safe with me around anymore.

I told her,

“Oh, yeah!  You know those Lopez’s!  They are rolling in so much money they’ve even got a white woman cleaning for them!

She then commenced to tell me that she had a white woman cleaning her house too and the friend with her chimmed in and said she did too.

Now the pressure is on and I gotta get the dump cleaned, supper cooked and the laundry done cause I don’t want to be the one to make the white chicks look bad… let someone else do it!