Archive for the ‘ Pets ’ Category

Ding Bat and Doofus

Every night about 9:30 to 10:00, I notice that the dogs are milling about looking at me expectantly.  Standing in front of the door way into the utility room, staring at me. Intensely.   If I am in my bedroom they stand in the doorway out in the hall and look at me.  When I walk toward them they take off running toward the utility room and stop and look back to make sure I am indeed coming and not going into any other areas of the house.  The simple question, “You ready for bed?” garners much excitement.

Kissy is staring at the utility room HARD.  Her telepathic messages were beginning to give me a headache.

Baby is just doing the pouty thing that says, “Hey, you really do need to snap to and carry out your duties, but I’m still on your side.”.

Maybe if we both stare at it at the same time…WHILE looking pathetic…

That’s all they want.  For me to put them to bed.

The door to the utility room stays open.  All the time.  All they need to do is walk in there and get in bed.  The spoiled brat little freaks little dears are just waiting for me to cover them up, pet them, tell them good night, and turn out the light before shutting the door.

Baby is even smiling for her photo op, she’s so happy to be in bed.

I SWEAR I DON’T WORK THEM ALL DAY, DEPRIVING THEM OF REST, THEY’RE JUST WEIRD!

Henrietta prays for stinky dog…

Kissy got a bath on Wednesday and later that night she jumped up on Henrietta’s bed to snuggle with her.  I told H that she had gotten the bath and she responded by saying, “Oh good!  She had D.O. and needed one!”.  She then started laughing and high fived me!

The front door…from the outside.

Hello there.  I would like to start out by clarifying one thing:

When I paint the door, it will only be the outside.  The inside is in great condition and there is absolutely no reason to paint it.  The outside, however, is not so good.  I will take a picture and show you, my speculative intertubers.

Here it is all peeling and weather beaten.  Not to mention the chick that lives here needs to sweep the porch, but she’s a slacker and let’s not discuss that now.

Purrrza wants in and is TRYING to be patient while I snap stupid pictures!  She thinks, “Damn I wish she’d paint this ugly door!  I’m embarrassed to live here and all the neighborhood cats think I’m low maintenance.  BUT I’M NOT!  If I flatten my ears back a little bit more she’ll know I’m really pissed and mean business.  GET THIS *&%$#! DOOR OPEN!”

Purrrza: Oh Gawd!  The stupid dog, now… what more must I put up with?  How come she’s inside and I’m out here?

Baby: Momma!  How come Purrrza is outside and I don’t get to come out?  MOM, what are you doing?

MOM?

OK, Kissy is here too now Mom and she wants out too… I’m telling you, you don’t want us to call the union!

And lastly, just because it’s hanging on my porch and I was out there anyway I took a picture of this plaque that my brother and sister-in-law gave to John and I a few years ago for Christmas.  Does anyone recognize the quote and know from where it came?

Well, today I spent the majority of my time at Lisa’s house with her three year old grandson, Bryen and her son’s girlfriend, Megan.  We worked hard and emptied out her entire kitchen, (except for the pantry), and put every single thing in any cabinet or on any counter top in her dining room on the table.  Now if those SOB’s don’t show up to put in those cabinets tomorrow I will, personally find somebody to castrate.  You just don’t take a woman’s, (or a man’s, for that matter), kitchen away from them and not follow through with your promises to give it back, only better.

Here’s Lisa, Megan and Bryen hard at work while I walk around aimlessly snapping pictures…as it should be.

Good Gawd.  That was a lot of shit to move into the other room.

These pictures, I offer as proof of how badly she needed this redo.  I have known Lisa for 13 or 14 years now and she has wanted to do something with this house for a very, very long time.  Well she is doing it up right!

Her walls are sheet rocked and painted really beautiful earthy colors.  It as so much fun picking out the paint chips!  We even had professional help!  (Lisa keeps telling me I need professional help… wonder if that’s what she meant…)

Living room with the couch sitting in the middle with the cushions upended.  The cat and dogs are not welcome.  Yet.  The furniture isn’t coming back in yet.  Still some touching up the painters have to do and SOMETHING has to get done about that fireplace wall.  We have plans for it.

I love the paprikaish colored wall thrown in just for good measure!  Lisa’s idea and she was on fire.  It is a short little wall around the corner and is just one side of the foyer.

I wish I had pics of before it was painted!  It was bad and dark, and paneled in the living room and the LR and hall, along with the kitchen, breakfast area and utility room all had tragic flooring.  The living room was an unfortunate carpeting choice that she made years ago, (with me there assisting) and it was a horrible, stinky, stained mess.  (Lisa and husband, Roger have two large outside dogs that tend to smell.  A lot.  And even with the giving of a bath, this is not rectified.  Stinky. Dogs.  They are supposed to stay outside, but someone I will not name, (starts with Rog and ends with er), tends to let the stinky dogs in when Lisa isn’t at home.  I think he’s scared to stay by himself.  I am sure he would dispute this.

This is in the breakfast room.  Can you tell we had only just gotten started bringing stuff in here at this point?

They also have two small inside dogs and a cat.  Housebreaking the dogs and having the cat puke hairballs all over the place for ages has just worn the sanitary out of the carpet.

The kitchen, breakfast area and utility room all had terrible old sheet vinyl that was original to the house, built in the 60’s.  Now it is this awesome large Italian porcelain tile.

Strange side note:  Every time Lisa takes pictures in her house with her camera she gets all those weird little circles and light spots on the pictures.  You can see them above and I think in all these shots.  I never have that problem so I brought my camera.  These pictures are with my camera and there are still all the weird little spots.  What’s up with that?  Are they haints?  If so there certainly are a lot of them and they better not smurf up the new paint job.

Oh!  That’s the little antique oak table I am SO GENEROUSLY GIVING UP OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART.  (I’ll kill her if she tries to put that thing back in my garage.)

Ok.  It pains me to say this but there is some bad news in the way of our friendship.  I am afraid I am going to have to report Lisa to the SPCA.  I even have photographic proof.  Before I show you these disturbing pictures I will explain what has, obviously, been going on.

Lisa has been contributing to the obesity, (I mean incredibly obese), of these poor, over indulged squirrels.  These poor guys don’t stand a chance if the cat ever gets out.  I watched one of them attempting to… scamper(?) up a tree and let me tell you, there was no scamper about it.  Poor squirrel looked like he was hauling a load of bricks up a ladder.  He may as well have been.

She buy bags of mixed seed and seduces lures attracts these little critters from the surrounding yards with her own brand of crack.  These guys can barely move.

There’s even a little one.  A baby, that she is trying to get hooked at the moment.

I think this little guy is doomed.  Here he is, so transfixed in his stupor he doesn’t even notice me.

Passed out Sacked out in a tree trying to recuperate.

Please remember these guys in your prayers…  I don’t think there is a Jenny Craig program for squirrels…

Well, the damn horses are causing all kinds of problems for us.  Dandy, the mare, yes, I said a horse named Dandy is a mare, (grown female horse for all of you unfamiliar with horse jargon), has a bad cut on the back of her ankle again.  She and the little whipper-snapper, Alcape, (Also another female, although a colt…also known as a filly), are both, according to the test results, wormy.  Not the end of the world, but the stupid vet should have called us weeks ago and told us and they didn’t call so I thought the test results were negative.  I mean that’s what the people doctors do.  Anyway I asked them to mail the negative test results to the barn where the horses are kept and apparently they never did.  I guess it’s a good thing since the results were positive for worms.  So now we are having the vet go out to look at Dandy’s leg and worm both of them tomorrow afternoon.  Like we’ve got the money for that!  Younger daughter does, for sure, not make enough money to support her horse habit.  She is putting everything she comes home with toward feed, board, and vet bills.  She is now agreeable to the idea of selling them.

We are aaaaallllll over this.

So when I signal for H to stop talking to me because I am on the phone and she keeps talking to me by asking, “Who are you talking to?”  And I reply, “I’m talking to a man about a horse.”.  It’s not a euphemism.

Now I gotta go and see who is winning this other horse race that’s on every single non-cable channel on TV.