Archive for the ‘ Pets ’ Category

Sasha Fierce


Hi. I know I’ve been a deadbeat blogger lately. I have been overwhelmed by all kinds of things that you can’t even begin to understand.

Why?

You mean, why wouldn’t you understand?

Oh.

Because I haven’t told you all about it yet, that’s why.

So I know I mentioned that Henrietta is on hospice and not doing so well. Well, she’s getting worse at a fairly steady rate here lately. She no longer gets out of bed and all the dictates coming from her, (because that’s what comes from her), are being issued from her bedroom. There’s was quite a lot of bell ringing and to-ing and fro-ing going on for a while, but now she is sleeping most of the time and even by doing this she is stealing my good excuse for my not blogging.

She can just be SO unreasonable.

I have been to see the witch doctor and she threw pills at me almost as soon as I started talking to her. So screaming, crying, rending of garments and pulling hair out is off-putting to some, apparently. Who knew. Actually we came to the same conclusion about everything I talked to her about and I just love it when I can go to the doc feeling like I know exactly what I need and then come home with just that.

OR, not having any idea what I need and feeling fairly sure that what I got will do the trick.

Whatev.

So, as per normal procedure, things have been busy around here. We have a new member of the family house-guest.

Meet Sasha Fierce:

And no. That’s not Baby. Here is Baby:

Smiling and ready for the camera. Notice how Baby needs a clip, yet not nearly as badly as Sasha. Sasha does NOT like to have her face touched and bites.

Hard.

Or at least she used to. Other than that she is the sweetest puppy you can imagine.

Here’s the deal. We rescued her from a friend of a friend’s backyard where she was being kept in a tiny pen in the corner and never let out. She was covered from head to toe, LITERALLY, with mats so dense and tight to her skin that I thought we’d never get them off. It was like surgery to remove them. And she was really very good and still and seemed to know that we were trying to help her. She is a mutt hybrid model that is mostly poodle and has a docked tail.

When I say, “we”, I am talking about Lisa and I. Kessa alerted us to Sasha’s existence and stole transported her home. Then, while she was at work, Lisa and I began to de-mat her. At some point we had exposed enough skin that we began to think that maybe a bath was in order so she would feel even better and not smell so darn bad. She was tolerating it very well when Lisa tried to clip the nasty mess that was on her face and sticking up in front of her eyes. It was all black and stiff from tear-duct seepage and was where most of the smell was coming from.

She did NOT like it and bit Lisa.

Hard.

Broke the skin and everything. Her teeth landed on her finger, on top of and under her fingernail. Hurt like a sumbitch.

We decided to leave her face alone for the time being.

So here she is living in my house for the past three weeks and getting all kinds of attention and loving while I am attempting to crate train her. She is a firm believer in peeing outside and getting accolades and treats for it, then coming in the doggy door and pooping in the house.

We still have a ways to go.

She still won’t let me clip her face, either. However she will NOT bite anymore and I can touch it all I want. Just not with scissors or clippers.

She is sweet, energetic, wormed, about a year old and now answers to her name.

Sasha Fierce.

Anybody want her?

Let the torture continue…


Kessa bought a muzzle for The Boyfriend’s dog because he had nipped at another dog when they were playing.  It turned out to be too small.  She thought it would be funny to see what Baby would do when the muzzle was put on her, even though it was much too big.

I don’t think she liked it…

Yet, this didn’t keep me from laughing hysterically when I saw this picture.  Does this make me evil?  Perhaps.

Chuck, of Dooce fame may be an extremely well trained, talented dog, but I challenge him to look this pitiful.  Anyway… this pic is now my desktop picture.  I smile every time I look at it. :-)

On to other things.

I think it’s weird that the person in, or close to Dublin, California that checks in on me regularly did so immediately before someone in Dublin, Ireland looked in.

I am the kind of person that derives immense pleasure in curious, wacky, little  coincidences like this.  I should have been a statistical expert, that way I would know just exactly how tickled to be.

Here I am waving at you, person in Dublin, California… HI!  OK, I guess I should wave at the person in Ireland, too, but, they’re not a regular, so I won’t be quite as enthusiastic.  Hi! (Not in all caps, yet still heartfelt.)

I am also going to take a minute to wave to a bunch of other regulars that I don’t know who are.  A lot of the same people check in regularly, but I know most of them from comments and email back and forth.  However, there are some that have been looking in on a regular basis for a very long time and not ever letting me know who they are.  (Cue the spooky music)

OK, lurkers, you know who you are!

Someone in West Jordan Utah, someone in or around Dallas, Texas, Jarrettsville, Maryland and Melbourne, Australia.

HI!

Well, there are more, but these are the only ones that are on the Live Feed right at this moment.  Once again, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, if you want your time in my, er…limelight(?) just comment and let me get to know you!

This particular post is one of those that’s a work in progress.  I have added to it twice now and I don’t know when it will feel finished.

Regular readers are probably wondering what exactly would constitute a “finished” er, “work”. Shush.  I could easily make a series of statements that flow together seamlessly and form cohesive thoughts and feelings and you would NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT WEBSITE YOU HAD STOPPED AT.

So this is how I roll.

I swear I'm not really dead.

It just seems like it sometimes.

I am being threatened again, by family and… “loved” ones.  I am being told that if I don’t post again immediately, well, there will be consequences.

You don’t want to know.

So here’s what’s going on at chez Lopez now and for the past six months few days.

As you probably remember, there was another auspicious occasion to go along with Mother’s Day.  My birthday was the day before.  I promised pictures when I wasn’t feeling too lazy to work on it and since I am now properly motivated, here they are.

Here’s John and I at Olive Garden.  I gained 50 pounds that night, and it’s all in my neck… and boobs.  I SWEAR my neck doesn’t look that wide in real life.  My boobs, however… Yeah, that’s about it.

We had a wonderful time and I got all kinds of gifts and whatnots.  The whatnots were especially great, but what would you expect?  I know everyone has had tons of fun with their whatnot’s before and you know of what I speak.

Here I am with my adoring fans.  I know you thought I really didn’t have any so I am attempting to provide proof.  John took this and I have to admit that every night there is a fight to see who can get in my lap first when I sit down in the living room with John to watch TV and talk.  Please click on the picture and notice that there are three (3) animals ergonomically packed into the chair with me.  There is the one small dog slid in over there on the right trying not to be noticed, cause if I get feeling claustrophobic after a bit, or just plain HOT (and who wouldn’t), they all have to be dumped out.

Going   back a ways, the last time I was at World Market I found the neatest little pair of earrings.  They are freshwater pearl on a sterling silver wire.  And, they were ten bucks.  I LOVE them.  They are comfortable to sleep in and came with little, tiny, clear acrylic backs that keeps them from wriggling out of my ear.  Cause if something can wriggle off of me, it will.  Except the pets… I think we all can agree that I am doomed to be smothered by the pets.

Moving right along…

This tree, planted between my house and the neighbors is in bloom and it is the neatest thing!  The blooms, that are ALL OVER IT smell like lavender.  And I guess they look a tad like it too.

The leaves, however, look like marijuana.

Well, they DO.

I have named it the “Lavender Marijuana Tree”.  It sounds like a kind that should be very expensive.

And finally we come to my new Haan steam mop!  Ignore the little old lady in the background.  She continually throws food onto the floor for the dogs, (and they DO NOT clean it up well), and she’s the reason I need the steam mop in the first place….  Yeah.  That’s what I’m going to run with.

Anyway, Mither gave it to me because I had told her how badly I wanted one and there is genuinely a NEED for it.  She’s wonderful like that!

This bad boy does it all and with only a cup of water.  Of course it needs someone to run it around and before that happens the floors need all the pet hair and food scraps swept up off of it.  My chiropractor specifically told me not to sweep or mop for a couple of days.

What?  Chiropractor?  Krissa, you must lead an exciting life doing all kinds of adventurous things to have to go and see a chiropractor.

Yeah, well… OK, sure.

John went with me and I was glad he did so he could see and verify that I wasn’t just making up big fat fibs about how archaic the machinery looks in there.  Plus I felt like it wouldn’t hurt for him to hear all the cracking that happened when she “adjusted” me.

I feel  better now and go back again on Friday.  Henrietta, on the other hand is going on a diet.  She laughed when I told her that…  I don’t know why she thought I was joking…

It’s late now and I am tired and am about to go to bed.  John is snoring lightly in the chair beside me and he’s off work tomorrow.  So we will get all kinds of things done.  Maybe.

Free toes, everybody!

We're a strange little group.

The other day, (Easter, to be exact), I was doing laundry and went in my bedroom to hang some things up.  I walked in and was going to my closet when I heard all this commotion in the bathtub.

Pleeeeeeease get me out, Mom!

Pleeeeeeease get me out, Mom!

I don’t know what made her go in there and think that jumping in the tub was the thing to do, but she could NOT get out.  The tub is a bit sunken on the inside and with no rug for traction, she was good and stuck.  Desperate and pitiful whining like you can’t even imagine.  The little fat ass.

Kes, will YOU get me out?!

Kes, will YOU get me out?!

However, this did not prevent me from leaving her there long enough to go get Kessa and let her come in and we both took pictures of her cause that’s the kinds of bee-otches we are.

I just wait... SOMEBODY will get me out!

I just wait... SOMEBODY will get me out!

What on earth do you think she was thinking to hop in there all by herself?  If there had been even a crumb of food, I would have expected it… but no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night overheard in my house:

Squealing and laughter along with some yelling and aggravation. “MOM!  Make Kessa give me back my M&M’s!”

And without missing a beat these words came out of my mouth: “Kes, give your sister back her M&M’s before I spank you.”

And the most surreal part?

It worked.

Remember this?  Well, Cam now has his Periodic Table of Typeface for sale in various forms.  Just click here for the information.

That thing has taken off like wildfire and I am SO happy for him.  I know he’s glad to get it out there and be done with the whole worry of what to do with it.  I’ve already ordered mine.  Go and get it!

Henrietta’s bed stopped working last night.  If you remember, it’s a hospital bed.  And if you’re new, my apologies while I whip out this fascinating story that, as per normal procedure, deals with an 86 year old woman, a wheelchair, diapers, poo, and bedpans. Eh…this is my life.

*sigh*

Anyway, I was scared she’d notice that she was being put to bed with it at an odd angle and not just raised up at the head with it bending in the middle.  I figured I’d find her in a heap at the foot of it this morning, but no.  She hadn’t worked her way that far down.

The problem was that it stopped raising and lowering after trying to lower the whole bed and only the foot went down.  Then, it wouldn’t move at all.  So after getting her fed, pooed, diapered, dressed, and drug into the wheelchair, the… bed maintenance man(?) showed up and literally beat hell out of a gizmo coming out of the motor with my hammer for about 20 minutes.

Nothing.

He finally decided to go out and get another foot board out of his box truck and replaced it and the whole thing finally went together as God intended all hospital beds to go together.

Of course Henrietta elected to sit in the room with us as this all took place and said at least one rosary while it was going on.  So I’m pretty sure she gets at least some of the credit for the repair.

I get credit for getting the poo smell out of the room with a can of Febreeze before the guy showed up.  Oh, that and finding a hammer for the only maintenance guy that shows up with no tools of his own.  A hammer that didn’t even fix the problem.

Remember the caregiver provider that worked for the other company that we were using and stole $100.00 out of my purse while I was taking a bath?  Well, I took another bath yesterday while Tanya was here and it was SO nice not to have to worry about anything.  And I’m not just saying that because I never have any money in my purse anymore, either!  Broke, broke, broke…

Our coffee maker has a water filter thing that is supposed to get changed every three months.  I just found the box I kept that the filter came in the last time I changed it and the date I had written on it was June 8, 2008?  Ten months.  It’s a wonder we’re all still alive.  John kinda freaked a tiny bit when I discovered it, but I wasn’t TRYING to kill us.  Sometimes it just works out that way.  It’s best if you can just handle these life and death situations with a chuckle.  (You pick that up around here after a while.)

Now!  In honor of my new camera, I have a few, widely varied pics to throw up, just simply because I can.  Observe.

John making a goofy face at me when I tell him to, “Look!” so I can get a truly candid “Him”. Yeah.  That’s about right…

“Seriously people, I just want to lie here and sleep. Get a life already.”

“Eh, I wasn’t kidding!”

This is truly one of my favorite finds lately.  Payless has this nifty little thingamajig for a mere $2.99 and it is a Godsend.  The sponge has some sort of oil(?) in it and it says on the bottom it is good for up to 100 uses.  You just wipe it over any leather or vinyl and it is shinier than you could ever do with anything else.  It is just as good as Armour All on the car dash and John’s dress shoes look much better than they ever looked with just shoe polish.  Also good on purses and leather jackets.  Love it!

We went downtown in Houston to the Medical Center to see one of John’s co-worker’s husband, who is in hospital with a brain aneurysm.  Spring is everywhere and I just couldn’t resist.  Sorry I didn’t crop out all the street first.  Oh well.

One of the older hospitals we drove by.  Apparently, it’s bigger than it looks.  That’s the tail roter and overhead blades of a helicopter on top of it.

And lastly, it’s probably poor form to take pictures of your spouse while he/she is sleeping, but I thought it was so funny that he had just consumed a brownie before bed and when I came in and looked at him there was irrefutable proof on his lip.  It looks kinda like a cold sore, but it’s not.  Just a treat for the morning…

Well folks, I warned you that it was random shit and I am a woman of my word.  I’m not going to apologize, you were warned.

Free toes, everybody!