Yesterday, a mere eighteen days into NaBloPoMo, I forgot to post. Actually I remembered, but by that time it was after midnight, so what the hell…
It was all John’s fault as he was off yesterday and I am always distracted by him when he’s off work. I suppose that is as it should be… BUT IT’S STILL HIS FAULT.
We went running around and the caregiver person was here for her three hours so it was kinda nice. I went back up to the eyeglasses place and complained bitterly about mine and they went to great lengths to explain that this is the way they are supposed to be and my eyes will get used to them. I have 90 days and if I’m not completely satisfied, well, I get a do-over.
Do-over’s are great. I wish do-overs came with everything I do.
Lisa called me today and when I answered the phone I said “Hello, Lopez residence, maid speaking.”
And, of course she said something to the effect of, “Where is that bitch?!”
To which I replied, “She’s out and I gotta clean this entire shithole before she gets home.”
Lisa replied, “And this is the maid?” And then she started trying to speak Spanish to me and I got lost and I KNOW she was. I told her, “I no speaky the English, and I no understandy you Spanish either, sista!” Then it got so politically incorrect that the intertubes are not safe with me around anymore.
I told her,
“Oh, yeah! You know those Lopez’s! They are rolling in so much money they’ve even got a white woman cleaning for them!
She then commenced to tell me that she had a white woman cleaning her house too and the friend with her chimmed in and said she did too.
Now the pressure is on and I gotta get the dump cleaned, supper cooked and the laundry done cause I don’t want to be the one to make the white chicks look bad… let someone else do it!