Archive for the ‘ John ’ Category

I believe, with all my heart, that there is a “hair imbalance” in this house.   Both girls have WAY more than is required to be a girl, (or even a horse), and it is so long and ultra thick that they get the stares when they go out and people want to touch it.  I mean beau-ti-ful hairs.  Shiny, glossy, slippery, abundance of hair.

John?  Gettin’ a wee bit gray, and a wee bit more sparse on top.  The eyebrows are getting wilder every time I attempt to tame them, and I am guessing it won’t be long before there are a few singular hairs sticking out of his ears.

Time will tell.

Then we come to me.  I am currently dying all the gray, non-conformist, rat-bastard hairs into submission.  That is on my head, anyway.  There are other hairs that are starting to give me grief.

The last time I was putting on make up I payed close attention and I swear, God as my witness, I am getting as fuzzy as a peach on my face.  I don’t have any dark hairs.  Yet.  But my once smooth cheeks and, ahem, sideburns, are covered in soft fuzzy clearish looking hairs.  Yes, my face is very soft.  SO IS A PEACH.

I stood there looking at this.  One more step towards the grave.  AND, IT IS!   I would actually take a picture and show you IF I HAD A CAMERA THAT WOULD TAKE CLOSE UPS.

Gee.  You guys don’t know what you’re missing… heh.

Now I gotta go research facial hair removal products.  Fun, fun, fun.

The second day we were at my parent’s house we had to go to Greenwood to eat hamburgers at one of the three buildings that make up Downtown Greenwood.  Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration.  There is no “downtown”… just Greenwood.  All three buildings of it.

This is the home of the best hamburger in Texas...and that's saying a lot.

This is the home of the best hamburger in Texas...and that's saying a lot.

The WHAT museum?

The WHAT museum?

And finally… it’s not a hick town without a volunteer fire department.

Impressive, no?  Greenwood isn't large enough to have it's own firedepartment so they share with Slidell.  They share TWO firetrucks.  Or at least they have two garage doors.

Impressive, no? Greenwood isn't large enough to have it's own fire department so they share with Slidell. They share TWO firetrucks. Or at least they have two garage doors.

The best part of going with the whole gang to Greenwood is that my great nephews and niece got to go too!  Get a load of these cuties!

Here's Tristyn, Pop, and Khristian

Here's Tristyn, Pop, and Khristian

Fine company, indeed!

Pop seems to think that Khristian is a hoot when he's sporting Nana's sunglasses.

Pop seems to think that Khristian is a hoot when he's sporting Nana's sunglasses.

And this beautiful little lady is just as lovely as her brothers are adorable.   Her name is Kayler.

And this beautiful little lady is just as lovely as her brothers are adorable. Her name is Kayler. Isn't she a doll?

Kes and The Boyfriend had a wonderful time as well.

Hamburgers?  You bet!

Hamburgers? You bet!

Here's a shot of the counter and gigantic grill behind it.  Can you say, "Hole in the Wall"?

Here's a shot of the counter and gigantic grill behind it. Can you say, "Hole in the Wall"?

Isn’t it funny that these types of places, inevitably have the best food?

So then we all went home, with VERY full tummy’s.  John, Pop and The Boyfriend went down to Grimy Gulch to target shoot.  John brought his S&W 357 with him and TB bought a 45mm Glock  while he was in town.  No telling how many boxes of ammo they went through.  Kes and Kee and I all had fun taking turns.  I am not nearly the shot I used to be.  (I SWEAR that sight is OFF!  I mean I can’t be THAT bad!)  I have pictures of them shooting, but they are on Keelan’s camera so I will have to go all the way upstairs, open the door to the black hole of despair that is her room her room and climb over mountains of shit enter and employ bloodhounds find said camera.

Maybe later.  🙂

We got back to the house and ate my mom’s GUMBO.  OH MY GAWD ya’ll!  It is the most wonderful thing ev-ah!  Sooooo good.  We ate tons of it!  I wish I had some more!  Right now!  MOOOOOOOOOOOOM!    I want’s me some gumbo!  You can ship gumbo, can’t you?  Why not?  Cost how much?  I’m worth it, aren’t I?

Oh.  I’m sorry.  I seem to have dragged all of you intertoob people into my side of the conversation that I know I could have with Mither.

The girls and TB and Mither and I all were watching TV in the living room when Kes, (who was sitting on the floor, said something like, “Ow… something stung me…” and she was looking at her hand.  She had felt something crawling on her arm or somewhere and flicked it off and when she did it stung the flicking hand.

The flicked item was, apparently, flicked on The Boyfriend.  Who was then stung on the arm.  Then we were all up and the lights came on and we were looking for the scorpion.  There would be no rest until we got the damn thing out. (Meaning dead.)

Finally.  We located and beat hell out of it.

Squished, mutilated, hard to recognize scorpion.

Squished, mutilated, hard to recognize scorpion.

The Boyfriend slept on the couch,because even though there is enough square footage in that place to put a hotel, it is only three bedrooms and John and I got one, Kes and Kee got the other and Mither and Pop, didn’t feel like vacating.

I bet he dreamed of scorpions, cause he was a tad freaked out.  Heh.

Recently, John was practically comatose from overwork and sleep deprivation, when I woke him while getting in bed and he made a remark that if given a fraction of a second to respond while wide awake and alert he would have rather died than say.  He clearly wasn’t thinking straight and it was obviously not meant to be mean spirited.  He spoke these words to me and then, promptly rolled over and fell back to sleep.

I admit to feeling a tad stung at the exact moment, but in seconds I wanted to laugh, just because it really was out of character for him to say something so critical about my appearance.

I wasn’t going to say what he said, (out of deference to him), but it really was harmlessly meant.

He reached up to my face, (I was sitting up reading), and gently touched my cheek.  As I smiled and leaned into his hand a little he mumbled, “You’re getting some deep lines here… I noticed it the other day…”.  He, quite literally, rolled over and went back to sleep.

He was touching my laugh lines.

Needless to say I was… flabbergasted and a touch peeved, (not to mention a wrinkled up old prune), and I also knew, without a doubt, that he would never remember this tomorrow.  So I filled him in the next day and he was properly sorry and contrite, and had no recollection of the remark.

I shared this story with Kessa, the 19 year old child and she was incredulous.  Then a few days later, John told me that Kessa had, “ripped” him.

About what?

“Well, she started in on me about what happened the other night when I made that dumb remark to you about wrinkles and then Keelan walked in and Kes told her about it and they both jumped on me and I wasn’t sure I was gonna get out of here alive.”

HA!  My girls are looking out for me!

OK, fast forward several days to yesterday.  John and I were talking and making lists and whatnot as he was off work.  I told him I need some new  bras.  He said, Oh, Ok, or something like that.  And then made some off color remarks about why he doesn’t want me to wear them at all or some such thing.

After that he casually mentioned that it wasn’t too long ago that I got new bras and I agreed that it wasn’t that long but they really don’t do that much for me and I have my eye on one that will get ’em up there.  He then looked at me and said “What do you mean?”.

I was in a nightgown and said, “Well, they’re here…and I want them somewhere higher.  Don’t you think?”

He immediately opened his mouth and snapped it shut like he was trying to catch flies.  It’s a wonder he didn’t bite his tongue off.  He then squinted a little, looked slightly pained and very slowly said, “Where do YOU want them to be?”

Heh.  Yeah, he may be careless from time to time but, he’s not that stupid!

I swear I'm not really dead.

It just seems like it sometimes.

I am being threatened again, by family and… “loved” ones.  I am being told that if I don’t post again immediately, well, there will be consequences.

You don’t want to know.

So here’s what’s going on at chez Lopez now and for the past six months few days.

As you probably remember, there was another auspicious occasion to go along with Mother’s Day.  My birthday was the day before.  I promised pictures when I wasn’t feeling too lazy to work on it and since I am now properly motivated, here they are.

Here’s John and I at Olive Garden.  I gained 50 pounds that night, and it’s all in my neck… and boobs.  I SWEAR my neck doesn’t look that wide in real life.  My boobs, however… Yeah, that’s about it.

We had a wonderful time and I got all kinds of gifts and whatnots.  The whatnots were especially great, but what would you expect?  I know everyone has had tons of fun with their whatnot’s before and you know of what I speak.

Here I am with my adoring fans.  I know you thought I really didn’t have any so I am attempting to provide proof.  John took this and I have to admit that every night there is a fight to see who can get in my lap first when I sit down in the living room with John to watch TV and talk.  Please click on the picture and notice that there are three (3) animals ergonomically packed into the chair with me.  There is the one small dog slid in over there on the right trying not to be noticed, cause if I get feeling claustrophobic after a bit, or just plain HOT (and who wouldn’t), they all have to be dumped out.

Going   back a ways, the last time I was at World Market I found the neatest little pair of earrings.  They are freshwater pearl on a sterling silver wire.  And, they were ten bucks.  I LOVE them.  They are comfortable to sleep in and came with little, tiny, clear acrylic backs that keeps them from wriggling out of my ear.  Cause if something can wriggle off of me, it will.  Except the pets… I think we all can agree that I am doomed to be smothered by the pets.

Moving right along…

This tree, planted between my house and the neighbors is in bloom and it is the neatest thing!  The blooms, that are ALL OVER IT smell like lavender.  And I guess they look a tad like it too.

The leaves, however, look like marijuana.

Well, they DO.

I have named it the “Lavender Marijuana Tree”.  It sounds like a kind that should be very expensive.

And finally we come to my new Haan steam mop!  Ignore the little old lady in the background.  She continually throws food onto the floor for the dogs, (and they DO NOT clean it up well), and she’s the reason I need the steam mop in the first place….  Yeah.  That’s what I’m going to run with.

Anyway, Mither gave it to me because I had told her how badly I wanted one and there is genuinely a NEED for it.  She’s wonderful like that!

This bad boy does it all and with only a cup of water.  Of course it needs someone to run it around and before that happens the floors need all the pet hair and food scraps swept up off of it.  My chiropractor specifically told me not to sweep or mop for a couple of days.

What?  Chiropractor?  Krissa, you must lead an exciting life doing all kinds of adventurous things to have to go and see a chiropractor.

Yeah, well… OK, sure.

John went with me and I was glad he did so he could see and verify that I wasn’t just making up big fat fibs about how archaic the machinery looks in there.  Plus I felt like it wouldn’t hurt for him to hear all the cracking that happened when she “adjusted” me.

I feel  better now and go back again on Friday.  Henrietta, on the other hand is going on a diet.  She laughed when I told her that…  I don’t know why she thought I was joking…

It’s late now and I am tired and am about to go to bed.  John is snoring lightly in the chair beside me and he’s off work tomorrow.  So we will get all kinds of things done.  Maybe.

Free toes, everybody!

Other O development Os?

In worry of a lawsuit respect for my Mexican readers, (I have none that I know of), I have titled my post in… Spanish(?)

Whatever.  My political corrected-ness doesn’t go too terribly far.  Ashamed for my “slander” of my SIL’s wetback boyfriend?  Not entirely.

OK, not really at all.

The afore mentioned wetback is a very nice guy and holds a job in a mechanics garage and really wants to get me alone without my husband around learn better English and pay taxes.

Yes, he does in fact stare at me and make me feel quite uncomfortable from time to time.  Even some of the other members of my family have noticed it.  Yet, he always wanders outside and finds something useful to do while the SIL is here.  Mow the lawn, clean out the garage, weedeat.  Whatever he can find.

So hell yeah, I tolerate leering!  I have told John more than once that if he wants to, try out polygamy,  have a three way, or just a girlfriend, it’s fine with me as long as the other chick cleans house.  And I mean good!  Not like I do.

Yeah.  I can be loose and uber cool.

Until I don’t want to.  And that’s? the tricky part.