Archive for the ‘ Hodgepodge ’ Category

Last time I was on here my life was falling apart around me. I was surrounded by appliance cadavers.

It were spooky, ya’ll.

Guess what? They all came back to life! I wandered out into my front yard to try to find the newspaper in the jungle of grass that needs mowing and apparently the top of my head was still visible. My next door neighbor with the immaculate yard called out to me so I took my machete and made my way over to the property line.

He asked me if my air conditioner compressor was running.

I stared blankly at him for a second wondering why there didn’t even seem to be any mosquitoes in his yard and then snapped to. “OH! Yeah, well my A/C has been running all day, just blowing away hard as it can and there is no cool air coming out.”

He then said, “And your dryer? It’s not heating either, is it?”

At this particular point I’m thinking he’s spying on me and the house is rigged with cameras and hidden microphones. While struggling to remember if I had been wearing clothing all day and what other embarrassing stuff I could have done, I stood there and listened to him explain that “A leg of our transformer has blown.”Everything in both our houses that runs on a 220 circuit won’t work.

Well, this is news to me. I do know that anytime that particular transformer blows my house along with the meticulous yard folks and the neighbors located in the two houses directly behind me all lose power. ALL power. So I just go ahead and believe what he’s saying and slip in little tidbits about how my good underwear is dirty but I DO have some. You know, just in case the theory about the hidden cameras and microphones turns out to be true.

After talking to him for several minutes I ascertain that he has called the power company already and they will be showing up shortly.  He mentions that the Homeowners Association would not only be grateful to me for mowing the yard, but appreciative for my efforts in donning a bra before wandering outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ll get right on that.

I went back inside my abode and turned on the oven. The digital clock was lit up, but no heat from the cooking deals inside. (Yes, I know they’re called elements!)

It truly is a 220 problem.

Anyway, around midnight and with the house steaming hot from having no A/C all day, the electric crew got my power up and running.

They had to completely shut off the power in order to work on the transformer. Apparently the little sissies don’t want to risk any kinds of nasty little jolts to their precious little bodies. So we not only have no A/C, but no fans either, not to mention lights.

I ran a cool bath and climbed in with a flashlight and my nook. I was sitting there in the spa tub, finally cooling off and guess what I heard immediately to my right, on the outside of the large picture window that overlooks the tub? Men. Talking about the work they are doing. Muttering things about how they wish we had mowed and the mosquitoes are a bitch.

I am sitting NAKED not two feet away from this guy! It was freaky! I have a filmy thing hanging there, in front of the glass that I KNOW you can’t see through, but I know they can see the light from my flashlight.

So, eventually they wander off I kill the light and get out, wake John up and tell him there are men outside the bath window and he mumbles something about “Tell them to mow…”, and goes back to sleep.

Funny thing is that when I was reading my comments a reader named Carla, (a former lurker), figured out what it was just by reading my previous post. She hit the nail on the head!


Hello gang! I hope every little thing is coming up roses in your world today. Here? Well, it’s not exactly, but it’s not an entire bedpan of shit either. So let’s all take that collective sigh of relief I know we all need after opening this blog to see what kind of pee, poo and mayhem bathroom talk Krissa is going to subject us to today.

Henrietta has had her meds uped and, strangely, while making absolutely no difference in her associating my daughter’s boyfriend with Satan, (Yes. He still be the devil…), she is calmer while extolling his evilness. Less tears all around and frequent naps.


There. Now that felt good, didn’t it?


Yesterday I finally received my nook! Got all my crap transferred over just as it’s supposed to and so far so good! It is kept far away from all liquids and I am planning to have a pedestal built for it to sit it’s precious little self on when not in use. Do you think this will make it feel special enough to not nut up on me again?

We shall see.


Keelan recently got a haircut and while it’s cute…

I wish so much she would let it be wavy and full of body like it wants to be, naturally. I would have KILLED for this hair when I was her age!


She insists on straightening it.


We were behind this vehicle the other day and I couldn’t help wondering… Drug dealer? Or, maybe just user? Could be just someone with a distinct laugh.

Free toes, everybody!

Guess what?!  You can’t?  Really?  Cause I think you should just give it a try.  OK, OK, geeze, I was just trying to have some fun.  (And isn’t that a rather sad commentary on my life… ;-))

OK the thing is that I have not only been awarded an award by a wonderful blogger that I love to read BUT, he has created it for ME!  Well, he was definitely thinking of me when he made it.

Predo, over at Spartacus Wore a Skirt, has bestowed upon me the coveted Dingle-Berry Award.  His reasons for doing so are varied and like everything he writes, very well put.  Let me just say that he has proclaimed me an expert in, “the world of Poo”.  And let me tell you, there is a lot of poo in the world.  I would know, as most of it seems to be here at this house.  Well, some days it is.  (Don’t be sending the health department out here.  They will run away scared.)

Anyway, as soon as my dear brother, Cam, gets the code-y thing for the award, he’ll pop that rascal right up here.

Thank You, Predo!


Well, the dear little senior ding-a-ling  is home from her travels.  She went to Sea World in San Antonio over the weekend with The Boyfriend’s family.  Oh, and The Boyfriend.  They had a wonderful, if not sweltering, time.

Now, understand, Kessa is the biggest tightwad in the world and therefor, even if I had been sleeping with a hundred men when I got pregnant with her, no DNA test would be needed to prove she is her father’s direct descendant.   This is just the facts.  They are two of a kind.

Well, my darling daughter must love me a great deal because she brought me a coffee mug from Sea World that cost $10.00.  Ten dollars for a coffee mug.

Before I even even got to use it the first time, look what I did.

I am such a clutz.

I am such a clutz.

I’m sorry, Kessa.  John brought home a piece of salmon that was shrink wrapped in some plastic and when I picked it up off the counter to put it in the fridge the mug was sitting just a tiny bit on the edge of the plastic and it drug it off the counter and onto the floor.  Crash.

BUT, I still intend to use it!  I am going to get the bastard file out of the garage and file those nasty points down so that I don’t get blood all over myself every morning by slicing open my hands on it.  That would suck.  Of course that’s just a matter of opinion.

Bastard file

Bastard file


And there are more happenings… let me think.DSC00734

Here’s the quilt that Mither gave me when we were visiting her.  Isn’t it beautiful?  My great-great aunt made it.

DSC00767John and I went to The Main Event the other day and went bowling!  Only the third time in my life I’ve been that I can remember.  Second time since I was grown.  Man did he beat me bad.  Don’t even ask me for a score… embarrassing.

DSC00773Pardon the really bad picture quality, but I couldn’t use a flash very well when people were trying to bowl.  I mean they could all see my score and would immediately be convinced that I was so embarrassed that I was trying to sabotage their games to make mine look better.   Picture lynching and shoot outs.  You know- Texas.

Anyway, does this chick not have the hugest hair you have ever seen?  And it wasn’t just huge on the top and back.  No, no, it was… built way out on either side of her face.  And she was a young skinny little thing, too!  She had a couple of little kids with her that looked totally normal with normal hair.  It was kind of like a train wreck.  I just kept finding myself looking at her when she bowled.  I wish the picture was better.

Are you seeing this Angie of Big Hair Envy?  Cause, day-yum!


DSC00753I got new Crocs!  And aren’t they cute?!  I hardly take them off!  Plus, Kessa, who is on her feet all day as a pharmacy tech at the drug store, tried them on and immediately went out and got some for her to wear to work.   Tell me true! You’d never think these were Crocs, would you?  Ree, at Hotfessional, sold me on them and I’m glad I tried them on as I was instantly hooked.

DSC00754Well, that’s it for me, you guys!  Henrietta is gonna want to poo anytime now and I gotta go get that  bedpan ready!

Free toes, everybody!