Some days are just what we need to get us through to the next day without fear of suicide attempts. SSG, over at Confessions of A (Sometimes) Serendipitious Girl had a day like that on Friday. It’s when you just stop and think, “Can it get any better?”. Or, in my case, “When’s the other shoe going to drop?”.
Today is the day of the Murder Mystery Party that John and I are going to next door. You may, or may not, remember that it is themed to ancient Rome. When we got our invitations it consisted of two copies of the cast of characters with one highlighted on each copy. They were:
Harangus Adnauseum- Harangus is the epitome of a successful senator. He is a multifaceted man- part politician and part philosopher, but all Roman. As a military tribune, years ago, he stormed the shores of Normandy…and conquered the Normans. Harangus owns a considerable amount of land in and around Rome, but he does not crave wealth and property. He holds closely to Stoic philosophy, maintaining complete control over his emotions and eliminating all wants and desires. If given the opportunity, he will expound on the virtues of Stoicism for days on end, as he did in his now-infamous, three-day oration. “It’s my party and I’ll be Stoic if I want to.”
Rotunda Immaculata- The fate of the Roman empire lies in the able services of Vestal Virgins, such as Rotunda Immaculata. The Vestals keep the eternal fires burning, thus ensuring the safety of the Roman ships, the strength of Roman legions. and the success of Roman government. Rotunda comes from a prominent family, as all Vestals do, and she was chosen for her honored position at the tender age of 8. Now she is a beautiful, but demure young woman looking forward to many, many more years as a humble servant of the empire.
Needless to say, I was unable to help myself. I did a lot of fast talking and explained to John how funny it would be if I showed up as the Roman senator and he went as the Vestal virgin. Apparently I am a very persuasive speaker. Or I guess now it should be orator. He, (a teeny bit grudgingly), agreed to this and he is going to be all outfitted as a Vestal virgin tonight, and I will be a pompus Roman senator. Fun, fun, fun!
John was putting up a lame argument against his role and said, “It’s been a long time since I was a virgin… at least five years…”
He’s already having fun with this.
He made me swear, under threat of certain death, that I would not be posting any pictures of him as said virgin. DO NOT WORRY. I will simply see to it that he is sufficiently inebriated and extract a promise that I CAN. cue the evil laughter…
IN OTHER HAPPY NEWS:
Henrietta got another catheter today! WOO HOO! No more wet diapers, just shitty ones! No more changing her in the middle of the freaking night in a vain attempt to keep her dry and stave off bed sores. No more going through three times as many diapers and latex gloves and her room smelling like urine all. the. freakin. time. If even ONE diaper is in the pail with the lid on it and sealed shut, it still smells. When I ask others if they can smell it, they all say no, BUT I KNOW THEY LIE. It’s all part of the plot to drive me insane. I may refer to this from time to time, as it is a long, ongoing, multifaceted, sick scheme and it is, apparently, not something my family and friends can get completely behind or motivated to carry out in a timely manner.
On the downside, it was immediately apparent that she has another UTI. For those of you who are blessed and don’t know un-knowledgeable about this, it’s a urinary tract infection. Her urine was all cloudy and had sediment floating in it in the tube leading to the bag. As the nurse and I were standing there staring at this with crestfallen looks on our faces, a bunch of blood passed by. Crap. NO NO! Not crap! Crap is everywhere ELSE, but not in the catheter tube. And THAT? is a good thing.
Anyway, on Monday she’s coming back out to take a urine sample cause the doc won’t let them give her the antibiotics she needs until the analysis comes back. The quack.
Now, I’ve got to go and cook baklava for the party tonight. I am in charge of dessert and that’s the only Greek one I could think of. When googled, there’s not a lot more different things either.
Wish me luck!
OH! Don’t forget to go here and enter in my contest for the lovely paintings by playing along and doing the unconscious mutterings.