HalfAsstic.com

Joan Crawford’s got nothing on me.  Just ask the wee small girl child that lives here with us.  Keelan is 17 and has some unusual ideas of good parenting.  She had a friend drop in to visit her last night about 9:30 and she and this other little girl sat in here, (the riff-raff room…where the teenagers hang out at my house) and visited and talked and giggled.  The usual.  Then at about 10:00 I came in here and talked to them.  Keelan popped up and  said that she was thinking about going camping.  Oh.  OK, with (insert friend’s name here)?  Well, yes.  With her.  “When?” I ask.  “Right now.”  After playing 20 questions like this to the tune of 136 questions I finally gathered that her friend had gone to the Texas City dike in a camper with another friend of theirs that I have never even met and said friend’s parents.  She had just left the camp site to “go home and catch a shower”.  So the thinking here is that she will swing by at 10:00pm and pick up Keelan and take her to spend the night with her and all these other people that I have never even met.  When I told Keelan that I would have to talk to them on the phone I got the response I was looking for, cause there was no way she was going.  She did all the requisite stomping, whining, and fuming, explaining that it was stupid to do that and totally embarrassing to her and “How COULD I?”  Etc. And then, per normal procedure, she said, “FINE!  I just won’t go!”  To which I said, “Fine.”, and was secretly very smug.

Now who’s a bad mom and who’s a clever mom?  OK, in the name of justice I guess I should add, who’s a bad, clever, mom?  I think I am a badass clever mom.

In other world shaking news, my dear brother of Squidspot fame has relocated an award I recieved a good while back from my good friend Trannyhead over at Law School Sucks, and so do lawyers.  It is now in the sidebar as it should be.  I really should stay on top of these things, but, alas, my housekeeping, er… “skills” are carried on over to my blogdom.  Such is life.  I am not going to complain cause hey, he got it done.  Yea, Cam!

When we, (my whole family), were putting our collective heads together to come up with a name for this blog, I wanted “halfass” and I thought it wasn’t taken just because when you entered it in the address area it had no takers. My brother straightened me out and had me doing domain name searches the proper way. But on our way to the half ass tic website you are now reading we came up with a lot of different names. I wish I still had that piece of paper. The top contender in my mind, (until my brother came up with HalfAsstic), was www.VoraciousVerbage.com. I still think it would be a really neat name for a blog and I hope somebody else does, too and takes it. I realize spell check doesn’t recognize “verbage” as a word, But! when I checked on Dictionary.com, this is what I found:

verbage spelling, jargon
/ver’b*j/ A deliberate misspelling and mispronunciation of verbiage that assimilates it to the word “garbage”. Compare content-free. More pejorative than “verbiage”.

Now, I thought that the spelling of verbage assimilating to the word garbage was particularly telling. And pretty much told the same story the name “HalfAsstic” did. Not that it’s the story that everyone, (or even anyone else), would want to tell. But! I do think it’s a cool name.

Yesterday, I got a beautiful bouquet of two dozen tulips from Cam, Melissa and Noah. They are combo Birthday and Mother’s Day and wasn’t that sweet.

I got pics of Cam’s foot today. Let me just say: Shocking…. Yet, colorful in a fun-loving way…

My poor brother is hobbling around on crutches for the first time in his life and is about to die from the soreness under his arms where the crutch rests. Ahem, maybe “rests” is not the word. It certainly doesn’t begin to describe the bruised, chaffed feeling that ensues.

Anyway, I told him that I would look for pads for the tops of the crutches that are softer than the ones that come standard on them. Man, I am having no luck. So far Walgreens, Target and Walmart are a bust. Today we will try CVS and a medical supply store that I am sure will have them and want $40.00 to $50.00. We will see.

If you have extra pads and care to make a charitable contribution to a, (cough, cough), wounded soldier, let me know and I’ll email you back with the address to send them to. If you want to make it an especially nice care package, he also likes Atari and Sesame Street. Oh wait a minute, I think I am living a bit in the past…. Yeah, now it’s cigarettes and porn. JUST KIDDING CAM! CALM DOWN! I LOVE YOU!

I talked to poor Cam today and he is feeling OK, just waiting for his foot to stop throbbing. Poor guy is having some incredible swelling. I believe he described it as looking like a latex glove, blown up. Yes, indeed. WE NEED PICTURES! I am waiting… Patiently. (not really)

The next thing is getting the permanent cast. Just gotta wait for the swelling to go down.

My brother, Cam, broke his foot this morning while playing, WHILE PLAYING, DODGEBALL! Let’s all keep in mind the most important facts here. My beloved brother is serving his country in the military. He was under heavy fire. BY DODGEBALLS! BAH HA HA HA HA!

Anyway, he is recuperating in sunny Italy. Oh, did I forget to mention that he is living with his wife and son close to the Mediterranean at Camp Darby in ITALY? He is. Am I sounding a bit callous? Well, I don’t mean to. I hope he is feeling better soon and the next 6 to 8 weeks fly by. He deserves to get well tomorrow! And should!

That guy is working out! I haven’t even mentioned it, but my page is no longer a disturbing shade of pink. And, I have this nifty masthead that ISN’T PINK EITHER. He is my pooter guru! And I mean that in the most adoring way. He is a wizard with a keyboard, and look out cause he’s not afraid to use it.

Squidspot.com needs to give him a raise! Mostly cause, hey, I’m not paying him anything.

I would like to temper this gushing moment with an admission of guilt. Cam, I cleaned the bathroom with your toothbrush when we were kids.  More than once.