Archive for the ‘ Blather ’ Category

You know how you feel when something you’ve been dreading for a long time is over with and it kind of came and went without a bang at all?  How, the relief just isn’t quite enough and so you’re downright giddy?

Me.  Right now.

Went to the Dr. and got me some Rx’s for meds that will make me tolerable able to tolerate all this crap.  And when I say, “crap”, I mostly mean that figuratively.

Lisa went with me and I’m not SURE, but I suspect she was worried I wouldn’t go in and she was just going to leave me there.  That bitch is no nonsense about several things and when she says, “Are you medicated? …Well you need to be!”  You best pay attention.    So, in order to keep from having a nervous breakdown Lisa happy I had to get in and see the woman with the prescription pad.

On our way back home afterward, we pulled into John’s store and Lisa picked up some wine.  Ten bottles, to be exact.  She grabbed some wine totes to get it all out to the car and put her grandson’s, car seat to good use.

That chick is downright clever if she absolutely has to be.

OH!  This just in!  John heard back from his doc today and his tests all came back negative.  Not thyroid.  Not diabetes.  Cholesterol a “little bit high, but nothing to be worried about”.  So now what?  He lost 65 pounds in the last 4 months and I’m thinking that we may have to start to look in… awkward areas.  He is going to throw a fit and try to get out of it, but he’s just going to have to deal.

Maybe I could hook him up with some of my meds… 😉

Update on missing phone.

Remember this, yesterday-when I managed to lose my mind phone and was lamenting how I had searched high and low, never finding it?  Well, guess who commented and then sent me subsequent emails telling me where to look to find it?

Witchypoo over at Psychicgeek.

She told me to, “Look within, or under, an unmade bed.”  So I responded by saying something to the effect that I was shocked that she thought I would have unmade beds.  She pointed out that I have teenagers and that, of course, means unmade beds.   *sigh* She is right.

At this point I still wasn’t thinking about the psychic thing.  I was still just, “Oh she must have found something she lost in the bed and that really is a good place to look…”

So we emailed back and forth several times and she finally just kicked me in the butt told me that the “coverlet is turned back and the phone is right under the edge of it, close to the pillow”.

So I got my happy ass up and went first into H’s room and patted around on her bed and wasn’t really even thinking about the fact that she had given me a “seeing” tip.  Oh, and Henrietta was IN the bed when I was looking around, so OF COURSE IT WAS UNMADE… I mean I am not a complete slob, so I am sure it would  have been made if she hadn’t been in it.

OK, THAT’S THE STORY I’M GOING WITH.

At the foot of her bed is a coverlet/large throw thing that we always keep there for her in case she gets cold.  It is folded in half across the end of the bed.  I patted the thing down and, well, there it was.  Right there, just a few inches in, right at the edge.  So I immediately picked it up and went back in to re-read her last email.   It said it was “close to the pillow.”  Well, the coverlet was over the end of the bed not close to the head.  But look!  You can see in this picture that there is a stack of pillows in the seat of the chair that is pushed up to the end of the bed.

Now, granted I put the phone back in the bed to take the picture, but that is almost exactly where it was, but the coverlet was pulled over it of course and I couldn’t see it.  (I’m not that lame.  I would have already found it if it had been lying out on the bed!  OH, YES, I WOULD!)  Anyway, see the stack of pillows in the chair that I still haven’t found anything to do with since she got the *&%$#! hospital bed?  They are about two feet from the phone.

So I would say that is pretty dead on accurate. I was amazed.  That was one of the neatest things to happen to me in a long time.  And not just because being without the extra phone was such a hassle.  It was just super neat.

That Witchypoo is amazing AND FABULOUS!  Yes, I said FABULOUS!

Amended to add that I forgot to point out that the coverlet is always folded in half, “turned back” as it was indicated.  And while it is kinda messy in the pic it is turned back on itself…  Completely in half.

First off at Chez Lopez, the freakin phone is missing.  This irritates me no end as I have to carry the remaining downstairs phone around with me everywhere I go or sprint from one end of the house to the other when the damn thing rings because I will, inevitably, be where it’s not.  It doesn’t make much difference if I’m not expecting a phone call.  They can just leave a message or not.  But when I am waiting for the nurse to call me back or one of the kids to call or some such thing, it is damn inconvenient.

Have you seen this phone, except with “Handset 1” on the screen?  I will pay you to tell me where it is.  No, that’s not like a ransom… that would be desperate, and hey, I’m not desperate.  Not at all.  NOW WHERE IS IT!

The last time it was missing I found it in the window sill in the bathroom.  Yeah.  In answer to your question, oh obvious one, I don’t know.  Since I refuse to take it in with me to potty I am assuming it was hanging on my waistband when I went to empty H’s pee can, but who can really be sure?  Not me.

This is where it was before and now it’s not and yes I looked inside that candle thing.  It’s not there.  I have also looked all the other places.

Oh, by now you realize how serious this is to me and are thinking, “Gee, Krissa, why not just page it from the base?”  Well aren’t you brilliant?  (Ooo.  Did that sound snarky?  I’m a touch irritable today, bare with me.)  I will tell you why.  The ringer is turned off.  This is a gift(?) from my husband who hates the phones ringing and turns off the ringers when he comes home from work because the kids are the only ones getting calls on them by that time anyway.  They answer them upstairs.  This is the second day it’s been missing, so it will be dead soon anyway.

So I am awaiting that info on the phone location and will take anonymous tips if you are too scared to tell me you took it.

You should be.

Moving right along.

Remember this?  Well, it turns out that the $10.00 wine cooler/chiller (whatever!) was missing a little pin in the top of the door to hold it on the hinge.  No biggie, right?  So John and I hunted around at the local hardware store for something that would work and we picked up a little 49 cent deal that looked like it would work and, indeed, it fit fine.  However it would shimmy up, out of the hole a bit every time the door was opened and closed.  So I went online to Emersonradio.com, got the phone number and called.  The guy made no promises but told me that they had some replacement parts in the warehouse to send out, but the things are made in China and he kind of doubted that the door hinge pin was one of the things that were kept over here.  In the good ol’ US.  So he was going to put in a request and if they had it they would send it to me.

I never expected to hear from them again.

Well, yesterday Fedex dropped this on my doorstep.

I mean, can you see why I had no idea what it could be?  It is, quite literally, the size of my toaster oven.

Filled to the top with the huge-bubble bubble wrap.  (The kind that is REALLY fun to pop and scare the dogs with!)  And nothing else.

At least that’s what I thought at first.  And then on closer inspection, MUCH closer, I finally found a teeny-tiny pin for the door hinge.

Here it is.  In place and holding the door perfectly.

$10.00 for wine cooler.

Free shipping on the free pin for the door.

About $12.00 for the two bottles of cheapish wine we got on sale inside it.

This is where I’m supposed to say something is “Priceless”, but, really?  Who am I kidding?

Polling, polling… now I'm polling.

Ok the latest debate/gossip around the coffee pot with the girlfriends and I is a touchy little question that has come up in one of our lives.  I will not say who.  Persecute Protect the innocent. Yeah.  That’s what I’m all about. heh

Please chime in and leave your honest opinion, even if you have never commented before, PLEASE leave one this time.  (I am trying to make you feel as if you owe me this.  Is it working?)  This whole debate really needs settling before any of us will just BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE DAMN SUBJECT ALREADY!  Oops… was I shouting?  I don’t want to scare you away, dear.  Now just sit back down and relax.  There, comfy?  Good, now turn the phone off and pay close attention.

Here is question # 1 for expert consideration:

When a person of one sex text’s another person of the other sex every night and says, “I’m going to bed now.  Good night.  Sweet dreams.”, is that considered “pillow talk” or just being friendly?

Question # 2 is this:

When the person receiving the texts is a happily married individual, and of course the person doing the texting is not the spouse, is it inappropriate?

OK, ready?  GO!

When all the planets align…

Some days are just what we need to get us through to the next day without fear of suicide attempts.  SSG, over at Confessions of A (Sometimes) Serendipitious Girl had a day like that on Friday.  It’s when you just stop and think, “Can it get any better?”.  Or, in my case, “When’s the other shoe going to drop?”.

Today is the day of the Murder Mystery Party that John and I are going to next door.  You may, or may not, remember that it is themed to ancient Rome.  When we got our invitations it consisted of two copies of the cast of characters with one highlighted on each copy.  They were:

Harangus Adnauseum– Harangus is the epitome of a  successful senator. He is a multifaceted man- part politician and part philosopher, but all Roman.  As a military tribune, years ago, he stormed the shores of Normandy…and conquered the Normans.  Harangus owns a considerable amount of land in and around Rome, but he does not crave wealth and property.  He holds closely to Stoic philosophy, maintaining complete control over his emotions and eliminating all wants and desires.  If given the opportunity, he will expound on the virtues of Stoicism for days on end, as he did in his now-infamous, three-day oration. “It’s my party and I’ll be Stoic if I want to.”

Rotunda Immaculata– The fate of the Roman empire lies in the able services of Vestal Virgins, such as Rotunda Immaculata.  The Vestals keep the eternal fires burning, thus ensuring the safety of the Roman ships, the strength of Roman legions. and the success of Roman government.  Rotunda comes from a prominent family, as all Vestals do, and she was chosen for her honored position at the tender age of 8.  Now she is a beautiful, but demure young woman looking forward to many, many more years as a humble servant of the empire.

Needless to say, I was unable to help myself.  I did a lot of fast talking and explained to John how funny it would be if I showed up as the Roman senator and he went as the Vestal virgin.  Apparently I am a very persuasive speaker.  Or I guess now it should be orator.  He, (a teeny bit grudgingly), agreed to this and he is going to be all outfitted as a Vestal virgin tonight, and I will be a pompus Roman senator.  Fun, fun, fun!

John was putting up a lame argument against his role and said, “It’s been a long time since I was a virgin… at least five years…”

He’s already having fun with this.

He made me swear, under threat of certain death, that I would not be posting any pictures of him as said virgin.  DO NOT WORRY.  I will simply see to it that he is sufficiently inebriated and extract a promise that I CAN.  cue the evil laughter…

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IN OTHER  HAPPY NEWS:

Henrietta got another catheter today!  WOO HOO!  No more wet diapers, just shitty ones!  No more changing her in the middle of the freaking night in a vain attempt to keep her dry and stave off bed sores.  No more going through three times as many diapers and latex gloves and her room smelling like urine all. the. freakin. time.  If even ONE diaper is in the pail with the lid on it and sealed shut, it still smells.  When I ask others if they can smell it, they all say no, BUT I KNOW THEY LIE.  It’s all part of the plot to drive me insane.  I may refer to this from time to time, as it is a long, ongoing, multifaceted, sick scheme and it is, apparently, not something my family and friends can get completely behind or motivated to carry out in a timely manner.

On the downside, it was immediately apparent that she has another UTI.   For those of you who are blessed and don’t know un-knowledgeable about this, it’s a urinary tract infection.  Her urine was all cloudy and had sediment floating in it in the tube leading to the bag.  As the nurse and I were standing there staring at this with crestfallen looks on our faces, a bunch of blood passed by.  Crap.  NO NO!  Not crap!  Crap is everywhere ELSE, but not in the catheter tube.  And THAT? is a good thing.

Anyway, on Monday she’s coming back out to take a urine sample cause the doc won’t let them give her the antibiotics she needs until the analysis comes back.  The quack.

Now, I’ve got to go and cook baklava for the party tonight.  I am in charge of dessert and that’s the only Greek one I could think of.  When googled, there’s not a lot more different things either.

Wish me luck!

OH!  Don’t forget to go here and enter in my contest for the lovely paintings by playing along and doing the unconscious mutterings.

Good luck!