Things have got to change in this dump. I don’t know how Krissa stood it.

Today I:

Slept in.

Had “relations” with Krissa’s husband.

Got rid of him and then promptly hired a full time maid.

Had an internet connection installed directly beside the bathtub.

Hired hot pool boy.

Spied on neighbors barbequing next door.

They thought I was Krissa for some reason and I just played along to get good grub. What do I care? Morons.

I placed the cats out the window of the second story and timed their decent and entrance through the doggy door. (The younger one is faster than the old biddy.)

Shopped for jewelry and purchased said jewelry.

Burned Krissa’s credit card receipts in fireplace. (And I bet she won’t even thank me…)

Tomorrow I plan on:

Attempting a “home cooked meal”. I mean what the hell is the big deal? If that idiot can do it, I sure as hell can. John, (the husband flavor of the month), will never even know it’s my first try at cooking and all that happy crap.

Find out if the new maid, Conchita, can score me some pot. (You know… she be Messican and all…)

Call some hardbody construction guys and see about getting a pool put in to have a good reason to have a hot pool boy. (I’m not stupid…. I cover my bases.)


Until I feel like getting back with you, (in my own time frame and entirely at my convenience),