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  • I have a bug bite on my arm that is itching like the dickens. This is odd because they usually don’t bite me. My family says it’s because I’m not sweet.

The dirty bastards.

  • John was off today and will be tomorrow and somehow we made it out of the house and ran errands and got at least a third of it done.
  • People will buy the damnedest shit on ebay. And over look some really great things that I felt sure would go. Weird. I never know what’s going to be snatched up.
  • We have dumped 5 bags of decomposed granite into the hole that Kes has wallowed out where she drives off the side of the driveway when she pulls in and out.

I think it will take another two and some crime scene tape to fix and maintain the levelicity of the yard.

  • “Levelicity” is totally a word because it is going to be in my Dicktionary, (when I get around to writing it), and it is practically self-explanatory. For instance I know my readers are too intelligent to need me to define it for them… 😉
  • Poor Keelan got into an auto accident the other day when some jerk ran a red light and T-boned her in the passenger side door. Her cute little red bug is in need of some body repair, and is in the shop, but the worst part is one of her best friends was in the car with her and has a shattered arm and severely bruised ribs.

Thank you God for side air bags and the fact that VW bugs are made of metal and not fiberglass. Otherwise this would have been a LOT more tragic.

As it is Keelan looks like she has a gigantic hickey on her neck where the shoulder belt caught her.

She SAYS this is not the look she’s shooting for.

  • There are bags of mulch outside waiting for me to dump them out into the flowerbeds and this is exciting!

How sad is that?

  • I have an actual, functioning guest room now and you are all invited over! We finally got around to buying a bed and I just recently bought the coverlet and the bed skirt is on order. When I go to pick it up I will get the two matching pillow shams because I know you people are too classy to sleep in a room that doesn’t have coordinating bedding.

There is a new blanket under there, too! Nothing but the best for you guys! I will even crack open a new cake of soap for the guest bath lavatory and break out the GOOD toilet paper! (When I say, “Your ass is safe with me!”, I’m not just being crude- but literal!)

Now, I just have to find some nightstands…

That’s a folding TV tray over on the other side of the bed.

Yeah… I know. I CAN DO BETTER!

Just go ahead and trust me and book your vacations at La Casa HalfAsstica today!

That’s all for now!