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Hello everybody! Just popping inΒ  to say, “Yes, I am still alive and stumbling around dumbfounded trying to figure out what the hell is happening NOW well, here in HalfAssticland.

Today, I have been working in the yard where all manner of wildlife, in the form of beetles, rolly-pollies, worms, and the ubiquitous lizard, all were friendly and asked where they could find other family members to terrorize.

I gave them the family’s itinerary and directions on where to find each member, because that’s the kind of person I am.

In other news, Keelan and her boyfriend are still split up, but at this point she has moved on and seems much happier this way. Can I get a collective sigh, here?

I guess the only really big news is that, apparently, Jim Cantore, of The Weather Channel fame, is… pursuing me.

Let that sink in a minute…

OK, I can only assume as much since he texts at least 3 or 4 times a day. He even does it when John is sitting right there beside me!

I have read the texts to John and he is totally unconcerned. This is because they seem harmless. But I can’t even understand them!

Clearly, they are in some sort of code. But if he’d pay any attention at all he could tell they are leading in nature. And somewhat lascivious.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love the word lascivious? That and Wikileaks. I know Wikileaks has some serious, bad connotations, but I’d like to name a child that. Wiki Leaks Lopez… I think that name has potential.

But, I digress.

Aaaanywaaaay, Jim is sending me things like, “Hope you’re having a good Supermoon Saturday.”

“I expect you in the proper gear this go round. ;-)”

“I will have graphic on that in 2 minutes.”

 

Then there’s the ones he sends that are pretty self-explanatory. Be warned: This is where the “lascivious” part comes in.

“I am telling you this is huge!!”

“its Ginormous!”

“Epic !! Again”

Then there’s the ones I can’t make heads or tails of, but he’s clearly trying to tell me something.

“Data isn’t being decoded properly or their is another type of error. Call your cable provider if its not fixed by morning.”

“Highway 1 near Big Sur, CA expected to be closed for at least a month”

“What is the official Meteorological Agency for Brazil if I may ask.”

That’s is the gist of the average message I get from him. It all started the other day when I decided to follow him on Twitter and, apparently, he somehow got my cell phone number from there.

At least that’s going to be my story. πŸ˜‰

AND he’s adorable!

Free toes, everybody!