I have been taking Amberen for six weeks now and my hot flashes stopped after two.

However, before I started taking it, the paint right here, on the wall in HACK, was starting to blister due to the incendiary hot flashes I was experiencing. Not to mention the state of my bed on any given night. It was awash in sweat, tangled limbs and tossed off clothing.

Hummm, that sounds kinda hawt.  It was SO NOT.

And while having your wife sleep neck-ed may sound like a great idea to any husband, all the tossing and turning, huffing and puffing and yelling, “YOU’RE TOUCHING ME!”, anytime he rolled over my direction really did get a little old a little fast. I think I can safely speak for John when I say this.

I am a mere 47 years old, peoples. I have been having hot-flashes, at least some, since I was 45. You have no idea how severe these things got.

I was not allowed into crowded theaters.

I could slip into a cool tub of water and steam up my bathroom.

I seriously considered moving into an apartment by myself so I could run around neck-ed all the time.  Except for the guys that deliver takeout, I would have NO visitors. No way was I going to cook. Yeah. Those guys would just have to suck it up and get over it.

I had nightmares about spontaneously combusting only to awaken and find that there was a very real danger of it. If only I weren’t so damp.

The dogs were not allowed to sit on my lap. I was… sticky.

Life sucked and then, after one particularly whiny post about my hot flashes this strange guy, named Adam Hodson (By “strange” I mean unknown, and in no way intend to insinuate that Mr. Hodson is anything more or less than a superhero an upstanding American citizen.), wrote me an email and told me about Amberen. So I went to the website, investigated, googled it and and asked the dogs what they thought. It was unanimous. I got my three months worth and started taking them.

I swear, within two weeks I had stopped having hot flashes. Now my energy level is up there where it was years ago and John would boast that when he rolls over in bed and accidentally brushes against me I don’t shriek in his ear.

Yes. Life is like a dream here at the HalfAsstic House. 🙂