Hi, there! I am on hiatus at Mither and Pop’s house.
I have escaped. *cue the evil laughter*
I am thinking about probably going home tomorrow. I am taking Noah, the wonder-child, home with me for five days and he will come back up here to his Nana and Pop’s house with Kessa and Gilbert when they come to visit next Tuesday. We are very excited to have him and this will be his first visit to my house.
Yesterday evening we all loaded up in the family truckster and headed out to Chico, Texas, population 947. We met up with my red-headed aunt, Holly. Or, as Mither and I like to call her, Holly-Log. We then proceeded to a fine 5 star establishment named Chico Mart and had the best hamburgers you have ever not tasted. Cause I’m betting you haven’t. Anyway, they were super good.
While we were dining Holly proceeded to tell me a whopper story about The Chico Rooster and her hand in his demise. Or almost demise.
Now, before I get too into The Rooster story you need to understand a little about my aunt, Holly.
There isn’t too much in her house that doesn’t have a feather or tassel attached to it.
There is never an occasion when she doesn’t have perfectly applied make-up and something, somewhere on her that sparkles. Holly is all that and more. She be the glam queen.
Now that you know Holly, here’s the story she relayed about The Chico Rooster
It seems that no one really knows where this particular rooster came from but he had been out, gadding about Chico for several years. Flitting from one spot to the next and staying one yard ahead of any stray dogs and the city workers trying to capture him.
This was before he met Holly.
Over, about the past year said rooster interrupted her early morning beauty sleep with voiceterous crowing. AND, to add insult to injury, he pooped great messy globs of… rooster poop all over her porch.
Repeatedly.
He then had a sworn enemy.
Again and again, Holly called The City of Chico and begged them to find and get rid of that public menace of a rooster. OH, how he loved sneaking onto her back porch late at night and roosting/pooping, before awakening her in the wee hours of the morning.
And they tried. No one could catch that bird. They tried to catch him everywhere. In town, in back yards, on sidewalks, in streets. He was everywhere.
Yet, he was wiley.
There were some near misses with The Rooster and Holly’s pistol as well, but the damned thing seemed to just know how far away to stay to keep Holly from risking a shot that might ricochet.
OOOOH, HE WAS EEEE-VILE! And cocky! He strutted around the yard like he owned the place! Or down the street! Chico was HIS TOWN, and he was on the take! He had no scruples, no propriety. Not to mention he had waaay more than nine lives.
Then. One day not too long ago. Holly’s neighbor’s schnauzer, Ranger, started a huge ruckus in the backyard. There were feathers flying and caterwauling like you can’t imagine.
And there was the Holly, “Get ’em, Ranger!”. Cheering the dog on to an easily assumed ultimate victory.
Soon enough, The Rooster was still and Ranger backed off to proudly display his “kill”.
Holly got a box out of the house and picked The Rooster up by the tail feathers.
The Rooster was merely stunned. Back to life he came and valiantly attempted to fight his way out of the box as lil’ Miss Glitz and Glam wrangled him in and slammed the lid shut.
Phone calls were made at this point and directly a city employee showed up at Holly’s door to pick up The Rooster.
All I can say is this:
There really IS such a thing as The Rooster Relocation Program. You probably never heard of it… that’s because it’s top secret.
Dana! Stop lurking! 😉
14 comments
Comment by Kristina P. on June 30, 2010 at 9:43 pm
That is one tenacious rooster!
Comment by Jean M. on June 30, 2010 at 10:00 pm
Man I thought maybe he was going then to be become the town/high school mascot. The Chico Roosters. aw well
Comment by Grandmother (Mary) on July 1, 2010 at 2:48 am
I found out about these troublesome creatures in Trinidad staying with a family who owned one. It is NOT true that they crow in the morning. They crow all night long! Good for Holly!
Comment by Karen on July 1, 2010 at 6:21 am
The Rooster Relocation Program! That’s awesome.
Comment by noe noe girl on July 1, 2010 at 9:57 am
I keep my rooster in a pen called coop de ville. He loves it and it makes everyone happy at the little house.
Comment by Roger on July 1, 2010 at 2:01 pm
The Rooster Relocation Program, coming to a broiler near you! 🙂
great story!!
Comment by Holly Laird on July 1, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Thanks, Krissa. Now I’m probably going to be kidnapped and tortured by the SPCA until I give up the relocation site of the infamous rooster.
Comment by lceel on July 2, 2010 at 11:07 am
Hah! Rooster Relocation Program. Yeah. To my belly.
Comment by Aunt Becky on July 2, 2010 at 2:25 pm
I just want a burger now. I know you wrote about something else, but I want a burger.
Comment by Alex on July 2, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Good Golly Miss Holly!
And yes, I will be evil and second the notion to relocate that rooster to someones belly.
Comment by Krissa on July 2, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Don’t worry about The SPCA Holly, PETA called and I gave them all your information. They will find you first and there will be nothing left for The SPCA to fret with. 😉
Comment by Red Hamster on July 2, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Since I’m a city girl, I haven’t heard too many roosters crowing in my lifetime. But I know I HATE bird poop! And I love fried chicken. Does fried rooster taste like fried hen chicken? The Rooster Relocation Program isn’t part of KFC, is it?
Comment by Jenna @ Newlyweds on July 4, 2010 at 10:26 pm
What an awesome Rooster story. Way to go Holly!
Comment by Dana on July 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Oh Krissa, I don’t lurk ALL THE TIME, just every now and then. Shoot, I gave up on lurking cause you never posted anything new…LOL…just kidding.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that this rooster story was hilarious and may I add that Holly was just about as proud of her “catch” as Ranger was.
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