I am now so utterly and completely in the 21st century that I am hurting myself with all the patting of my own back I am doing.
Two things have happened very recently that have rocketed me along and now, I am joining you all here in the world of Instamatic cameras, gasoline powered lawn mowers, gas stoves with pilot lights, electric vacuum cleaners, Atari video games and percolating coffee pots. You guys are just wowing the pants off of me and I SO am looking forward to joining you!
First of all I got a new phone and it is wonderful. We were eligible for an upgrade and, after having a stare down with the other members of the family, I grabbed it and ran wildly went methodically to the local Verizon store. I looked, browsed, asked questions, acted for all the world like I was going to leave there with a phone and they were very helpful.
I then went home and ordered it online where it was MUCH cheaper. S&H is free and it got here in two days.
LOOK!
And then you can open it and just like a closet full of wonderful new clothes, it reveals itself to you!
(Yes, I know that picture has a watermark thing on it saying it belongs to someone else and I don’t care.
I recommend you do the same, cause it’s not changing anytime soon…)
Did I mention all those wonderful new clothes make you look 10 pounds lighter? CAUSE IT TOTALLY DOES!
And people, my new wonder-phone will get online if I so desire. Yes, that’s right.
Uhhhhh, what? What’s that? You already have a phone that does that and are rather unimpressed with my ability to Tweet from the back yard?
Clearly, you don’t understand the distance this upgrade has taken me. I no longer have to walk up to a particular wall in my kitchen and stand there and crank a handle around in a circle while holding a receiver to my ear and speaking into a funny looking mouth piece coming out of the wooden box. I don’t have to go through an operator to call next door.
I GOTS RING TONES PEOPLE!
I have almost figured out how to work everything on it. The, (very few), remaining questions I have for the super efficient know-it-all’s at Verizon have to do, mostly, with things like what recipes will it do for supper and will it dust more than once every other month a week, and what are the buttons to push to change shitty diapers? Oooooh, I bet that is probably found on that touch screen thingy, since it would be a more…. sophisticated function.
Be honest. Any time you have ever pictured me changing the shitty diaper, has it ever ONCE occurred to you that what I am doing here is “sophisticated”?
No?
Well, maybe it should… humph!
My other world shaking announcement will no doubt set the techno-whizzes on their ears. THIS? Is no longer a large stainless steel hole under my counter where I desperately need more cabinet space.
This thing here? It’s called a DISH WASHER. Let me tell you all about the magic that is this!
It washes, rinses, AND dries!
NO! I AM NOT SHITTIN YOU! Would I do that?
I have had it here the entire time we have lived in this house, but have done without it’s services for the past few months. The man from Sears Home Repair, (that I’m thinking about trying to get over here to hook up to my machine so I can get him to fix the garbage disposal), came out and fixed it and now I want to have his baby is on my Christmas card list.
I am telling you people, things cannot get any better around here!
OR COULD THEY?
Stay tuned. 😉
14 comments
Comment by Jean M. on April 8, 2010 at 5:27 pm
You’re way ahead on me on the phone technology thing. I feel good just being able to download a ring tone. My phone is ancient…like when people just started texting and downloading ring tones ancient that’s all mine can do oh it takes pictures too. That’s probably all I need at this point though.
Psst…did you know that my dishwasher has a garbage disposal in it? Yes I do tuck it in at night and give it a kiss good night.
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..Special Runner =-.
Comment by Nicole on April 8, 2010 at 7:35 pm
I finally bit the bullet and got a Blackberry last fall (since we already pay for all of the services that go along with it because hubby is required to have it for work.) I am STILL trying to figure all of it out, but do love the little bits of freedom that it gives me – and the entertainment it provides when I am out running errands and all 3 kids have fallen asleep in the car.
And the dishwasher! So shiny! Look at you going all techno on us!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Subject To Interpretation =-.
Comment by Nicole on April 8, 2010 at 7:36 pm
P.S. The new phone ought to help you keep all of your various callers sorted-out – be sure and tell H. that’s what you got it for.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Subject To Interpretation =-.
Comment by Red Hamster on April 8, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Krissa, I’m so proud of you. I’m going to come down there and have a technology party with you so you can show me how to utilize all the features of my iPhone…which I’ve had for months and don’t use half of it’s features.
I can hardly wait to hear what H thinks of your new phone “machine” and what it does to your “gentlemen callers”. With all the free time you have now because you don’t have to wash dishes by hand any more, I’m sure you’ll be “entertaining” more customers. 😉
.-= Red Hamster´s last blog ..In which I just borrow stuff from other blogs =-.
Comment by tattytiara on April 9, 2010 at 12:27 am
Wow, my phone isn’t that fancy. It’s still good enough, however, for me to use to call the WATERMARK POLICE!!!
Comment by Marylin on April 9, 2010 at 4:03 am
I keep thinking about upgrading my phone… then I figure I’ll leave it for another month or so… 😉
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..Yes, I’m Shameless! =-.
Comment by Quixotic on April 9, 2010 at 5:57 am
hahaha!! I am a fellow Luddite and am amazed that there are even such things as microwaves and cordless phones. Technology and I are like magnetic opposites, inherently repellent- I either don’t understand it in the first place, break it or lose it.
.-= Quixotic´s last blog ..Do you want some porn with your petrol? =-.
Comment by Karen on April 9, 2010 at 7:41 am
You figured out how to use a brand new phone already? Girlfriend, I hated my new phone because MY WORD, IT’S NEW and I couldn’t navigate like my old one, which I still totally have to hand over to the daughter and say “change my ringtone. I hate that one.”
I am now the most inept person on Planet Earth.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..I Am An Incurable Pollyanna =-.
Comment by big hair envy on April 9, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Look at YOU with that fancy phone! We still have to drive out to the end of our driveway, climb a pole, and patch a call through Petty Coat Junction to phone anyone;)
.-= big hair envy´s last blog ..Bud’s Beach =-.
Comment by Predo on April 9, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Oh, I am all moist just thinking about it!!! New cell phone to surf hot recipes on and a dishwasher to clean up the mess? I mean, who is kidding…..It gets me all “ooooooooo” inside! I think I would start a load of dishes, use the new camera to take a picture of the washing, and send to all my “still hand washing” friends!!!
You must be filled with so much excitement right now you want to burst!!! I have to admit, I am so smart with technology, that I just now discovered Skype! Of course, I had to move up, that whole “wheel” thing was getting a little redundant!
.-= Predo´s last blog ..Looking for part time house keeper…. =-.
Comment by Chief on April 10, 2010 at 3:44 pm
seriously, how we get so excited over a new phone! lmao
.-= Chief´s last blog ..10 things I love not to love =-.
Comment by Mr. Corvette on April 10, 2010 at 10:04 pm
You lost me with instamatic cameras, gas powered lawn mowers, and electric vacuums. I ain’t never heered of setch thangs. Really, this is all a joke – right???? Yee’re just kidd’n – right????
Comment by Roger on April 11, 2010 at 10:44 pm
I’m impressed, and maybe a little jealous, as it looks like you have passed me technology-wise. At least until my contract is up in July, then watch out world! 🙂
.-= Roger´s last blog ..Easter Pics! =-.
Comment by Eric | Eden Journal on April 13, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Hey, nice technology. I reverted back to an old fashioned flip phone when I changed jobs and my new employer wouldn’t foot the bill for my phone anymore. I’m hoping to jump back into this century later this year though.
.-= Eric | Eden Journal´s last blog ..10,000 Steps a Day: An Upgrade and Some Fun Math =-.
You must be logged in to post a comment.