‘Ello me lovelies! How’s it hanging? What’s that? Oh, I’m fine. Yes, the dishwasher is working wonderfully and now you’re wondering what on earth I could possibly find wrong with life, today. I mean a working dishwasher is half the battle, right? RIGHT?

So Kessa, rather gently even, shut the microwave door and the glass, that’s in the front, fell out. Yeah, literally. Now that is all rather awkward. Every time we run it I wonder how much… plutonium or radioactive fallout or poison ivy we’re being exposed to. I mean the inside is all sealed by the hard plastic stuff on the inside of the door, but the smokey glass part is… well, slid down and won’t stay in place.

SO! If in the near future, (or even right now), I begin to write posts that are, well, a little bit nutz and have a lot of blather and not much of a rhyme or reason, I think we can all agree I was exposed to too much Sesame Street 70’s porn spring pollen microwave radiation.

Now, on to the real news.

Henrietta is in the hospital.  I went into her room yesterday morning to find a little, old, 88 year old woman that, all of the sudden couldn’t speak coherently, could only mumble and only mumble garbled sounds that rarely made words. On the occasion a word fell out of her mouth, it was a bizarre choice. “Scissors,  blinds, towel, flower”, (Or possibly “flour”, I didn’t ask for an elaboration.), were all words that were thrown in here and there amongst the garbled sounds.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. YES, AGAIN! (Don’t you hate when I do this? I KNOW! So why don’t I stop?! heh)

“Krissa, quite obviously Henrietta has had a stroke.” And you wouldn’t be stupid to think that at all. The last time this happened, I thought the exact same thing. I called the EMT’s and they came out and asked all kinds of questions, one of them being what medication she is on and when I mentioned she was taking an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection, (UTI, just cause I’m in love with acronyms when I’m the one doing the typing.), they looked at each other and agreed that she was altered due to the infection.

I immediately thought they were crazy and proceeded to bite my tongue so as not to hurt their feelings with my superior knowledge of all things medical. OBVIOUSLY SHE HAD A STROKE.

Now for the shocking part: The medical professional guys were right and I WAS WRONG.  Yes, it was a red letter day on the calendar.

Stop laughing.

So as soon as she got a big dose of IV antibiotics into her she was fine.

Well, this time she just so happens to have a UTI as well. So I am thinking I know what’s going on here, the prescription antibiotics I’m giving her aren’t doing the job and she’s mentally altered due to the infection.

This time the EMT’s didn’t venture a guess as to whether or not it was the UTI and I, my cocky self, felt it wasn’t necessary for them to since I am aaaaaall on top of things and know what’s wrong.

CAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF CAREGIVER I AM!

So we took a ride in the ambulance to the hospital, got her all set up and they did a CAT scan and she had a stroke.

Now do you see why I’m convinced that God loves to mess with my head? Sometimes… it’s hard to appreciate the humor.

Anyway, I understand the neurologist  has told us that she has a blood clot in the left side of her brain.  That’s all I know so far. they did a sonigram of her head this morning and I am waiting for the results of that.

I’m wondering if the blood clot isn’t something that’s been there an while and just been slowly growing and that’s why she’s been getting battier and battier and then the stroke.

I’m wondering, but NOT in any form, shape, or manner implying I know.  Go ask the stupid EMT’s.

So she is doing much better today. Her speech is clearer and there is more force behind her words… well, a little. The only real bad difference is that now, not only does she hear voices like before, she hallucinates as well. She points at thin air and says, “Look, there’s Krissa.”. And tells SIL that John is around the corner because she just saw him go there. You may also want to be appraised of the Gilbert situation; According to her he’s back in jail.  My SIL is up there with her for the moment and I am going up in a little bit. She’s in ICU and the visitation hours are weird. There are large gaps between them, but a nice quiet, fairly comfortable waiting room where I can break out the nook and read and read and read while waiting to get in to do bedside vigil.

Anyway, people, I will keep you all apprised of the situation.

Question: I got my handy dandy new cell phone that gets on line and what not and I have been tweeting remotely with it. OK, I THOUGHT I was tweeting remotely. I got on Twitter earlier today and none of my Twits are there.

What do I do to get my phone to twit? Who do I have to kill? This is very important to me. I would trade a child for this information. (There is probably a fair trades law that requires me to warn you that my children are teenagers. They are. *sigh*)