‘Ello me lovelies! How’s it hanging? What’s that? Oh, I’m fine. Yes, the dishwasher is working wonderfully and now you’re wondering what on earth I could possibly find wrong with life, today. I mean a working dishwasher is half the battle, right? RIGHT?
So Kessa, rather gently even, shut the microwave door and the glass, that’s in the front, fell out. Yeah, literally. Now that is all rather awkward. Every time we run it I wonder how much… plutonium or radioactive fallout or poison ivy we’re being exposed to. I mean the inside is all sealed by the hard plastic stuff on the inside of the door, but the smokey glass part is… well, slid down and won’t stay in place.
SO! If in the near future, (or even right now), I begin to write posts that are, well, a little bit nutz and have a lot of blather and not much of a rhyme or reason, I think we can all agree I was exposed to too much Sesame Street 70’s porn spring pollen microwave radiation.
Now, on to the real news.
Henrietta is in the hospital. I went into her room yesterday morning to find a little, old, 88 year old woman that, all of the sudden couldn’t speak coherently, could only mumble and only mumble garbled sounds that rarely made words. On the occasion a word fell out of her mouth, it was a bizarre choice. “Scissors, blinds, towel, flower”, (Or possibly “flour”, I didn’t ask for an elaboration.), were all words that were thrown in here and there amongst the garbled sounds.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. YES, AGAIN! (Don’t you hate when I do this? I KNOW! So why don’t I stop?! heh)
“Krissa, quite obviously Henrietta has had a stroke.” And you wouldn’t be stupid to think that at all. The last time this happened, I thought the exact same thing. I called the EMT’s and they came out and asked all kinds of questions, one of them being what medication she is on and when I mentioned she was taking an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection, (UTI, just cause I’m in love with acronyms when I’m the one doing the typing.), they looked at each other and agreed that she was altered due to the infection.
I immediately thought they were crazy and proceeded to bite my tongue so as not to hurt their feelings with my superior knowledge of all things medical. OBVIOUSLY SHE HAD A STROKE.
Now for the shocking part: The medical professional guys were right and I WAS WRONG. Yes, it was a red letter day on the calendar.
So as soon as she got a big dose of IV antibiotics into her she was fine.
Well, this time she just so happens to have a UTI as well. So I am thinking I know what’s going on here, the prescription antibiotics I’m giving her aren’t doing the job and she’s mentally altered due to the infection.
This time the EMT’s didn’t venture a guess as to whether or not it was the UTI and I, my cocky self, felt it wasn’t necessary for them to since I am aaaaaall on top of things and know what’s wrong.
CAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF CAREGIVER I AM!
So we took a ride in the ambulance to the hospital, got her all set up and they did a CAT scan and she had a stroke.
Now do you see why I’m convinced that God loves to mess with my head? Sometimes… it’s hard to appreciate the humor.
Anyway, I understand the neurologist has told us that she has a blood clot in the left side of her brain. That’s all I know so far. they did a sonigram of her head this morning and I am waiting for the results of that.
I’m wondering if the blood clot isn’t something that’s been there an while and just been slowly growing and that’s why she’s been getting battier and battier and then the stroke.
I’m wondering, but NOT in any form, shape, or manner implying I know. Go ask the stupid EMT’s.
So she is doing much better today. Her speech is clearer and there is more force behind her words… well, a little. The only real bad difference is that now, not only does she hear voices like before, she hallucinates as well. She points at thin air and says, “Look, there’s Krissa.”. And tells SIL that John is around the corner because she just saw him go there. You may also want to be appraised of the Gilbert situation; According to her he’s back in jail. My SIL is up there with her for the moment and I am going up in a little bit. She’s in ICU and the visitation hours are weird. There are large gaps between them, but a nice quiet, fairly comfortable waiting room where I can break out the nook and read and read and read while waiting to get in to do bedside vigil.
Anyway, people, I will keep you all apprised of the situation.
Question: I got my handy dandy new cell phone that gets on line and what not and I have been tweeting remotely with it. OK, I THOUGHT I was tweeting remotely. I got on Twitter earlier today and none of my Twits are there.
What do I do to get my phone to twit? Who do I have to kill? This is very important to me. I would trade a child for this information. (There is probably a fair trades law that requires me to warn you that my children are teenagers. They are. *sigh*)
Comment by DeNae on April 18, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Can’t help you with the twitter thing; I’m pretty sure I’m too old and stupid for Twitter. As for the rest of your post, holy cow! Yes, I’m pretty sure the Fates have “Krissa by Milton Bradley” laid out on their coffee table, and they’re having a dandy time rolling the dice and moving you around their evil little board!! We hate those Fates.
Hope your MIL gets better, and I hope you are managing all right. At least this brush with mortality should give you time to re-think that prostitution gig!
.-= DeNae´s last blog ..Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places =-.
Comment by tattytiara on April 18, 2010 at 6:04 pm
It would be nice if when our brains started altering our consciousness and making us see and hear and believe things, that they could be awesome things. Like hey, there’s Gilbert being carried in on his golden litter, and isn’t this a lovely palace we’re visiting, and did you hear that everybody won the lottery?
Comment by Kristina P. on April 18, 2010 at 7:00 pm
My husband is a paramedic and works for anb ambulance service. I’m still not entirely convinced he always knows what he’s talking about.
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Glamour Shots Gone Wild! Blog Carnival! =-.
Comment by grandma j on April 18, 2010 at 11:12 pm
First of all, my prayers for Gilbert because I can see the need coming down the pike..
I’m also praying for Henrietta’s complete and swift recovery…..for Gilbert’s sake.
I can’t figure out the twitter thing on my phone but I can email and facebook so I’m grateful for small blessings.
You need a Kindle. Smooches, my friend.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
Comment by Nan on April 19, 2010 at 3:18 am
Hugs to you and yours… hope Henrietta feels better soon, and the wonders of modern medicine help her head!
.-= Nan´s last blog ..War Games =-.
Comment by Karen on April 19, 2010 at 8:17 am
So how long, exactly, are they going to keep her in the hospital? Is that a really bad question to ask? I’m thinking you needed the break from her, because the break from the window glass wasn’t the right kind.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Meet The Nephew =-.
Comment by Mr. Corvette on April 20, 2010 at 9:08 am
I hate to burst your bubble, but any damage to your leetle brain from microwave radiation happened a long time ago. You may not have noticed, but the rest of us have known for a long time. If you need proof, just go back and read some of your previous blogs. Not that we want you to change. It is just like the models falling on runways – You know you shouldn’t, but you just can’t help laughing. I know we tell you we are laughing with you, not at you, but that is just another of life’s biggest lies. (as in, “The check is in the mail”, and others)
Comment by Kori on April 20, 2010 at 11:06 am
Since I can rarely even remember my twitter ID, I can’t help you there, esp. because I think Twitter and Facebook are both kind of the devil’s handiwork, or Gilbert’s. I would tell you to try to relax and see what happens, but that wouldn’t be easy-so I will tell you to try to take care of yourself in the midst of everything else going on.
Oh, and see if you can snag a lead apron from the X-Ray Dept. while you are “visiting” H. so you can cook your popcorn in the micro with an easy mind.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Friday Fragments =-.
Comment by Predo on April 20, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Hugs, prayers and happy wishes from our home to yours!
I don’t know much about your phone, or twitter so you can keep the child, I am not interested at this time!! LOL…..
My question is simply this….Which one of you will grow a third leg first due to the microwave? Seriously, I need to know. This could help me, well, some how in the future!
Again, my heart goes out to you, but since laughter is the best medicine, I shall do the dance of the seven veils for you. Well, I may have to substitute veils with washcloths and dancing with seizure like movements. Then we are in business.
.-= Predo´s last blog ..Lil Deb and The Colonel… =-.
Comment by Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo on April 20, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Oh sweetie, I hope this doesn’t make your life even harder…
Comment by JennyMac on April 21, 2010 at 9:10 am
Sorry about Henrietta. Sending positive thoughts. And your phone clearly hates Twitter. Maybe because Britney has so many followers. Is your phone onto something?
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..That is not a Flintstones vitamin =-.
Comment by Nicole on April 21, 2010 at 9:40 pm
The microwave thing reminds me of my Dad’s sister-in-law . . . she is convinced that radiation from her microwave is to blame for all of her health woes!
I am sorry to hear that Henrietta is in the hospital, but happy to hear that she is doing better and that you are getting a little break! Who knows . . . maybe if she hallucinates enough, they will give the old meds a tweak and send her home with something better!
And I won’t even tell you about the stuff we guess on/made-up/randomly pulled out of our rears during my time on the ambulance.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..2 Years =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on April 22, 2010 at 11:05 am
From this day forward I will refer to you as Saint Krissa.
Poor Henrietta… I like tattytiara’s thoughts that if she’s going to hallucinate, it should include unicorns, palaces and all things wonderful.
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..If you want to become a square, just have a daughter… =-.
Comment by noe noe girl on April 22, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Sorry about H. Keeping her in my prayers. You too! Sorry I cant help with the Twitter either. Keep us posted chicklet!
Comment by Lisa on April 22, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I feel I must remind you that only one of your girls are a teenager the other is well on her way to being a legal aged drinker!!!! lol
Comment by Aunt Becky on April 25, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Um, I barely can turn on the computer without Daver helping me so I’m not the person to ask.
Hang in there, yo.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Go Ask Aunt Becky =-.
You must be logged in to post a comment.