Saturday, John was at work and so were the girls. It was just Henrietta and me, here in the house. I had been doing laundry and had clothes and towels piled on the couch in various stages of… fold. heh
I walked back into H’s room to put some things away in order to make more room to fold more in the vicious cycle of laundry that never ends. H looked at me for a moment and said, “Is he gone?”.
“Who?”
She doesn’t hear what I’m saying enough to understand and replies, “Yes, I know!”.
I repeatedly scream “Who? Who? WHO?”, and she finally gets it.
“Oh Krissa”, very exasperated, “I know you have a man in there!”
I was horrified. Not to mention worried about her eyesight, you should have seen the hot mess that was me that day… How she thought I was in any condition to get a man near me much less “entertain” one, is beyond me.
I immediately whipped her chair around and propelled her into the living room and gestured to the couch.
“I am in here doing YOUR laundry! There are no men here!”
As expected, I got the customary eye roll and a sarcastic “Oh, yes, yes, yes…”.
I took her back to her room and left her there.
Then, yesterday, Monday to be exact, I went into her room for something or another and she was feverishly working the rosary beads when she said, “Is your customer gone? That was fast?”
I am not even kidding.
I sat down on the side of the bed and turned her head toward me, (for some reason she has always had a problem with eye contact), and asked her repeatedly what kind of business she thought I had.
I was, of course, getting no where. I then wheeled her back into the living room and parked her in the spot she used to like to be in when she used to be less like a hermit and actually spend time with the family. I asked her again what she thought I was doing in here with a “customer”.
“Ooooh, Krissa! You know! You get that machine and hook the men up to it and it puts them to sleep.”
And now I’m thinking, Really? And what? Have my way with them? Rob them? Dance around naked? (fat chance)
I asked her what machine and she gestured to the two large chairs in the room. “Oh, you know! It’s over behind there!”
I quickly wheeled her over there and showed her it was, in fact, not there at all. And then explained that she was talking about the foot massager and it belonged to Keelan and it was in her room.
We discussed this for a few minutes and she grew weary of the debate and just said “OK.”, kind of in a “Whatever”, manner.
I told her she was going to stay in here for a while and she could watch and see there was no one coming in the house. But, no. She insisted she had to get back in her room and say a rosary. One for me, no doubt, to change my wicked ways.
I hope it works. *sigh*
13 comments
Comment by Kristina P. on April 6, 2010 at 11:55 am
Wow, she is CRAZY!!!!
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Snuggie-veway Winners! =-.
Comment by noe noe girl on April 6, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Oh Krissa! This is tooo funny! I’ll pray for you tonight!
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Comment by DeNae on April 6, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Do you sometimes wonder if she’s yanking your chain? Because I would TOTALLY do that if I had dementia! What other source of entertainment would there be??
And seriously, Krissa, repent already! Ya floozy!
.-= DeNae´s last blog ..A Word to the Wiseguy =-.
Comment by warriorwitch on April 6, 2010 at 7:32 pm
be careful Krissa, H is on to you.
ya harlot.
.-= warriorwitch´s last blog ..nothing out of nothingness =-.
Comment by Predo on April 6, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Oh, me next….Pick me…Pick me……I want to be hooked up to your secret machine…..Hmmmm, what should I wear…what to wear…..well, besides clean underwear!
Maybe that thong I have had my eye on!
Would you prefer a solid color, or an animal print? What ever, just be gentle, I am a delicate flower you know!
.-= Predo´s last blog ..Torment! =-.
Comment by Ree on April 6, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Oh man. I don’t know how you do it, but she sure keeps US entertained.
.-= Ree´s last blog ..Grace in Small Things: 66/365 =-.
Comment by Kori on April 6, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Sigh…too bad tyou are doing so much entertaining but aren’t getting to enjoy it OR make money from it. Hmmmph.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Protected: =-.
Comment by Karen on April 7, 2010 at 7:14 am
If I burst into random, spontaneous laughter today it’s totally your fault. If I wet myself while laughing while in public I’ll be mad. And probably give YOU reason to wet yourself laughing.
But seriously, if your little machine starts making money for you let me know. I won’t tell anyone that you’re shady if you won’t tell anyone that I am.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..It’s Picture Day! =-.
Comment by JennyMac on April 7, 2010 at 7:49 am
I will pray for you too…vixen. LOL
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..JA of the Day: volume v =-.
Comment by Red Hamster on April 7, 2010 at 10:27 pm
You have “customers”…but you put them to sleep? Is that a compliment or an insult?
Krissa, you must be a sexier “hot” mess than you think. How else would H come up with that idea? ;-D
.-= Red Hamster´s last blog ..it’s Friday and Spring is good =-.
Comment by Nicole on April 8, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Oh, Krissa! You naughty, naughty girl! If only folding the laundry were that fun!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Subject To Interpretation =-.
Comment by big hair envy on April 9, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Hussy;)
.-= big hair envy´s last blog ..Bud’s Beach =-.
Comment by Roger on April 11, 2010 at 10:36 pm
And thought life around here got a little crazy at times… You win! 😀
.-= Roger´s last blog ..Easter Pics! =-.
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