Warning: Use of undefined constant user_level - assumed 'user_level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /nfs/c01/h02/mnt/911/domains/halfasstic.com/html/wp-content/plugins/ultimate-google-analytics/ultimate_ga.php on line 524

Henrietta has been up to some new shenanigans while I was away with Lisa at Mither’s and Pop’s. I got regular reports on her downward spiral.

John tells me that she wheeled her chair into the living room looking for Kessa’s boyfriend, Gilbert, more than once. When she couldn’t find him she was convinced they were hiding him from her.

My SIL was staying here over the weekend to help with her care and when she fell asleep on the couch and didn’t respond to the frantic bell ringing that H was hammering away at, well, she just assumed the obvious.

“What is that, Krissa?”, you’re wondering. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you. She informed the family that Gilbert had been here and sneaked in the house in order to hypnotize  SIL with his hypnosis machine.

See Homedics Foot Massaging Hypnosis Machine below:

John explained to her that this particular machine was bought by Jared, Keelan’s boyfriend for her for Valentine’s Day. She’s a carhop at Sonic and her feet get tired.

She would have none of it. She remained convinced that when her daughter fell asleep on the couch and didn’t wake up to her ringing the bell for her, she would have had to have been hypnotized.

When I got back I made a point of going in there and sitting on the couch with my feet on the thing as it whirled around under me rubbing the soles of my feet. She looked long and hard at me before asking me questions about what it was. I just acted like I didn’t know anything about what had happened and told her what it was.

That didn’t keep her from casting sidelong glances at it all evening.

She also told SIL and Tanya, her home healthcare provider that Gilbert was practicing voo-doo on John and that’s why he falls asleep in his comfy chair and that when he does he can’t be woken.

Absurd stuff just continues to spew forth. It is a never-ending font of tabloid news that nobody else in the world could possibly care anything about.

Too funny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And since Red over at In the Wheel, asked for it, here it is!

Oatmeal Cookies

1 C sugar

1 C brown sugar

1 C shortening or butter

2 eggs

1 t. vanilla

1 1/2 flour

1 t. baking soda

1 t. salt

3 C of  quick oats

’bout 6 oz. of butterscotch chips

chopped pecans

Mix it up, chill it for a few hours and drop cookies on cookie sheet to be cooked at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes.

Oh, and honestly, I use butter in just about everything, but butter flavored Crisco makes the cookies rise sooo much better and they just do better with it.

To speed up the chilling process that seems to be necessary to get them to come out right, I stick it in the freezer for a while.

These truly are my all time favorite cookies. Enjoy!