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Henrietta has been up to some new shenanigans while I was away with Lisa at Mither’s and Pop’s. I got regular reports on her downward spiral.
John tells me that she wheeled her chair into the living room looking for Kessa’s boyfriend, Gilbert, more than once. When she couldn’t find him she was convinced they were hiding him from her.
My SIL was staying here over the weekend to help with her care and when she fell asleep on the couch and didn’t respond to the frantic bell ringing that H was hammering away at, well, she just assumed the obvious.
“What is that, Krissa?”, you’re wondering. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you. She informed the family that Gilbert had been here and sneaked in the house in order to hypnotize SIL with his hypnosis machine.
See Homedics Foot Massaging Hypnosis Machine below:
John explained to her that this particular machine was bought by Jared, Keelan’s boyfriend for her for Valentine’s Day. She’s a carhop at Sonic and her feet get tired.
She would have none of it. She remained convinced that when her daughter fell asleep on the couch and didn’t wake up to her ringing the bell for her, she would have had to have been hypnotized.
When I got back I made a point of going in there and sitting on the couch with my feet on the thing as it whirled around under me rubbing the soles of my feet. She looked long and hard at me before asking me questions about what it was. I just acted like I didn’t know anything about what had happened and told her what it was.
That didn’t keep her from casting sidelong glances at it all evening.
She also told SIL and Tanya, her home healthcare provider that Gilbert was practicing voo-doo on John and that’s why he falls asleep in his comfy chair and that when he does he can’t be woken.
Absurd stuff just continues to spew forth. It is a never-ending font of tabloid news that nobody else in the world could possibly care anything about.
Too funny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And since Red over at In the Wheel, asked for it, here it is!
Oatmeal Cookies
1 C sugar
1 C brown sugar
1 C shortening or butter
2 eggs
1 t. vanilla
1 1/2 flour
1 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
3 C of quick oats
’bout 6 oz. of butterscotch chips
chopped pecans
Mix it up, chill it for a few hours and drop cookies on cookie sheet to be cooked at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes.
Oh, and honestly, I use butter in just about everything, but butter flavored Crisco makes the cookies rise sooo much better and they just do better with it.
To speed up the chilling process that seems to be necessary to get them to come out right, I stick it in the freezer for a while.
These truly are my all time favorite cookies. Enjoy!
12 comments
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Quixotic on February 19, 2010 at 10:55 pm
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Yum, baking here we come!
.-= Quixotic´s last blog ..New Kid on the Blocks =-.
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Roger
Twitter: mylhibug
on February 19, 2010 at 11:48 pm
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I could use one of those voodoo hypnosis machines, maybe it will convince my feet that they feel fine. 🙂
.-= Roger´s last blog ..The New Geography? =-.
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grandma j on February 20, 2010 at 9:18 am
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Send Gilbert over to my place to hypnotize me because I could use a good night sleep.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
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Hyphen Mama on February 20, 2010 at 11:05 am
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How sweet is Keelan’s boyfriend? I was a car hop at A&W for 3 years and NOBODY ever bought me a foot massager. Let’s look past the part where it was 25 years ago and those didn’t exist yet, but I’m still going to be annoyed. That was my favorite job of all time. I’m sure it’s because 25 years have passed and all I remember is the really fun part of being a kid and making money.
I can think of a half dozen funny voo-doo things that would make Henrietta flip, but I’m sure that feeding her ideas isn’t going to help anybody.
Yummy cookies!
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..It’s like giving birth, but more painful =-.
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warriorwitch on February 20, 2010 at 4:11 pm
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where can i get one???
.-= warriorwitch´s last blog ..18 lbs of fur and whiskers =-.
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Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo on February 21, 2010 at 1:41 am
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as my oven broke yesterday and I cannot cook anything, I am taking this post as a personal insult.
WANT COOKIES!
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Red Hamster
Twitter: inthewheel
on February 21, 2010 at 12:34 pm
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Actually us bloggers are all quite entertained by the never-ending font of tabloid news from Henrietta; it just can’t be quite as much fun for your family. As long as you can keep your sense of humor about it.
Thanks for the recipe! Sounds delicious and I can hardly wait to bake some. I bought oatmeal at the store yesterday but forgot the butterscotch chips, duh. The butter or Crisco conundrum – I like butter best but sometimes shortening does seem to work better in a specific recipe. Which reminds me…I’m too low on Crisco for this recipe also. Duh again…back to the grocery store.
.-= Red Hamster´s last blog ..BTW, Happy Valentine’s Day! =-.
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Becky on February 21, 2010 at 1:33 pm
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You are getting veeeerrrrry sleeeeeppy. Whatever you do, don’t show H your vibrator.
Hello! So good to be back around, I missed you!
.-= Becky´s last blog ..Sconeday =-.
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witchypoo on February 21, 2010 at 7:38 pm
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Hah! You made a pile of those yummy cookies at Christmas. I et mine right away.
.-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Funeral Potatoes =-.
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tattytiara
Twitter: tattytiara
on February 22, 2010 at 1:52 am
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And you can still walk okay with hypnotized feet?
Your comment on my post about trailers completely cracked me up, btw.
.-= tattytiara´s last blog ..With the budget I had it’s a miracle this title even got made. =-.
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Karen on February 22, 2010 at 8:39 am
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I really hate to laugh at your situation, but I do find H amusing from a distance.
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Nan on February 22, 2010 at 9:03 am
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We gotta get our old cranks together… Or no, the flight would be the end of them. We’ll just have to get together and discuss our old cranks? No, wait! We’ll get together and NOT discuss our old cranks! Yay!
.-= Nan´s last blog ..Totally Granola… Except For The Lego. =-.
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