Why do I always feel the need to apologize when I do bullet posts.
Well, I guess you’ll find out.
- The next time I see a man describe himself as “babysitting” when he is taking care of his own child or children, I think I’m gonna lose it.
- I am so depressed about John’s health, or lack thereof, that I find it hard to think of anything else. We know that he will have been out of work for three months at the first of the new year. That’s the extent that the company will let you have a paid leave of absence. (Which is what this has been.) After that? Either just “absent” or “laid off”, I’m guessing. And he is so very far from able to go back to work yet…
- Mither and Pop have been at my brother and sister-in-law’s new house in New Mexico helping them get all painted, decorated and moved in. This is a very welcome change from Italy, well, for the rest of the family anyway. Moving my nephew much closer. They are very conscientious like that.
- Henrietta has decided that I am the devil and has been telling everyone that will listen that I am mean to her and rude and disrespectful and deprive her of liquor. Well, maybe not the last one… she doesn’t drink. But, don’t you think she should? That has the potential to solve many of my bigger problems…
- I am going to write my own dickionary and YOU are invited to submit suggestions. I am the perfect candidate for a dickionary author. Just ask Mither. To this day I call her and say, “How do you spell______?”, if I’m not on the computer where it’s easy to find out. OK, Mom! Sheesh! Sometimes even if I am on the computer…
- I want a Nook for Christmas. Really, really bad. At $9.99 per download for most new releases I figure it will pay for itself in days. Plus I am blind as a bat and the fact that I can make any book be in extra large print will be wonnerful.
- “Wonnerful” is going to be in my new dickionary.
- I saw an interview with Martha Stewart the other night on Primetime and she just left me cold. Again. When talking about her incarceration she referred to herself as “hurt and sad-but never broken”. She was certainly not contrite. She never once said anything about being sorry for what she did, or acted remotely shamed for it. She did throw a lot of blame around, however. She said that the feds should have been spending the time they worked on her case working on Bernie Madoff. Perhaps. But it doesn’t make what she did any less wrong. She’s a sanctimonious bitch.
Can you tell I don’t like her?
- As a teenager I was continually getting the words “deprived” and depraved” mixed up. I think you can see how well swell good an author I would make for a dickionary.
- My house is the dirtiest it has been in years. (I am only doing this as a protest against Martha. Yeah. That’s my story.)
- Keelan is sitting on the couch, drinking Sprite, holding a stainless steel bowl in which to throw up. Great. Flu? Who knows?
- Grand total of hospital bill for John’s stay there? $85,403.00. Thank you, God, for insurance. However, with it we still owe $2470.00. Shit. And that’s just the hospital bill. Stand by for lab bills and assorted doctor bills.
- This post needs a picture. What shall it be…..?
I don’t know what this is called. It is at my aunti-poo’s house and I took a shot of it the last time I was there. Until someone tells me differently we’ll just call it “Beautiful flower”, m’kay?
- ATTENTION: I believe that I may have sunk to a new cooking low. I have now browned ground beef with onion and put it in the bottom of a cake pan and dumped a mixture of Bisquick, milk, cream of chicken soup, and frozen vegetables on top of it. It is cooking… we will see. I will feed it to Henrietta first. *evil laughter*
- Everytime. It should be one word. I will fix that in my dickionary. I’m not kidding you! You will also be able to wear white after labor day, and name your child “Christian” even if you’re not. (Though people will still think it’s stupid.)
- The… “Beef Bake” is actually a huge success. All the crossing of fingers and fervent praying has yielded a winner. Whew! Until tomorrow, when the “what’s for dinner” crisis starts again. Cause planning it NOW, is just not the HalfAsstic way. I know you understand where I’m coming from. You did read this post, right?
- Free Toes everybody!
Comment by Sabrina on November 23, 2009 at 8:27 am
I have a “free toes” story for you. I was talking to Tony about how I cannot sleep with socks on. I told him my toes need to breathe. So I took off my socks and wiggled my toes and said, “See. Free Toes.” and then I thought of you.
.-= Sabrina´s last blog ..22 weeks =-.
Comment by Roger on November 23, 2009 at 11:43 am
I would just call it Potpourri. 🙂
Definition 2 states: any miscellaneous grouping: medley.
It works, and it doesn’t even smaell half bad.
.-= Roger´s last blog ..Prayer before Starting on a Journey =-.
Comment by Karen on November 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I’ve made many a dish that smacks of Beef Bake. I consider those the nights that I actually cook.
Comment by Kori on November 23, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Beef Bake. yum. I wonder if I should try that here? And hey, I think you should start slipping some vodka in with H.’s prune jucie; it might make things all sorts of easier for you!
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Weekend Recap =-.
Comment by Red Hamster on November 23, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I totally agree with you on Martha Stewart. I refuse to buy her magazines or watch her tv shows or cook her recipes. Looks like you don’t need her sanctimonious gourmet recipes either. You’re doing just fine with hamburger and a can of soup, haha.
.-= Red Hamster´s last blog ..Thanks for small things =-.
Comment by Nicole on November 23, 2009 at 4:12 pm
1. Martha is a narcasistic, self-indulged, pretentious bitch. (A term that I may or may not have assigned to my mother-in-law at one point.)
2. Bisquick is magical stuff.
3. Are they morning glories?
4. Has John looked into disability (either short-term or long-term) from his employer? Do they have a leave sharing program that would allow people to donate extra time off for him? Is there a human resources department he can visit with to work some of this stuff out?
5. Visit the office of each and every provider that he owes money to. I know there are hospitals around here that will do things like knock 50% off of the bill if you just go and sit down with their financial services people. Payment plans, discounts, etc. can all be arranged.
6. Mental/emotional/verbal/blogging diarrhea . . . that’s what I call it over at my place.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Sunday Snapshots: The Christmas Card Edition =-.
Comment by Eric | Eden Journal on November 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I am with you on the first item. You cannot baby sit your own children. I think this comes from the fact that some fathers don’t care to spend time alone with their children. (I’ve met people like this.) I cherish the time with my daughter, I have a hard time understanding those that don’t. Ditto on Martha Stuart, I’m not a fan.
.-= Eric | Eden Journal´s last blog ..WIN a $25 Amazon Gift Card! 5 Weeks of Contests, 5 Chances to WIN. Week 2 =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on November 23, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I must remember to take notes as I read your posts!! I’m 15 kinds of witty in my head, then I get down here and NOTHIN’.
I think you should start feeding H pot brownies. Wouldn’t that make life so much happier? I’ve personally never tried it, but it sounds like a great solution.
I think Marty is just annoyed beyond all belief that she’s that rich and couldn’t buy off the justice system. And yes, of course, for the piddly money she made on the whole deal, the government spent a dozen times more than that trying the case… but it’s kinda funny all the same. Too bad she’s got more money AFTER it all worked out than before, but still a tad bit funny.
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..Twenty days? Sheesh, I was positive it had only been 19…. =-.
Comment by noe noe girl on November 23, 2009 at 7:05 pm
I’m am so sorry I have not been here. All the shit I have missed. And I know how I worried when my Cdub lost his arm and could not work anymore.So maybe we can talk about some options. K?
Wonder what fathers call baby making?? Never mind..dont answer that!
OK now for my word for your dickionary
“Panzon” as in Put your pants on!
Going to fix some of that Beef Bake now!
Comment by Jean M. on November 23, 2009 at 7:40 pm
If you could please add the following words to your dicktionary I would be appreciated or it would be appreciated. Can we have a grammarictionary too?
-recieve (receive) I say tomaato you say tomato same diff.
-vaccum vaccuum..whatever…hate spelling it, hate doing it.
-Cincinnati yes I can spell it now…I think…but it took a long damn time and dang it, I hate spelling it. That is all thanx!
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..The Day Book Nov 22 =-.
Comment by Ree on November 23, 2009 at 9:59 pm
What the hell was the $3 for? The television remote batteries?
Do let me know when that dikionary is published, woncha?
.-= Ree´s last blog ..Mute Monday – Local =-.
Comment by tattytiara on November 24, 2009 at 5:46 pm
“The next time I see a man describe himself as “babysitting” when he is taking care of his own child or children, I think I’m gonna lose it.”
I submit the word flusterated, the meaning of which I believe to be self evident. I can’t take credit for inventing it, but it’s very handy and I use it extensively.
Glad the beef bake was a success!
.-= tattytiara´s last blog ..Heeeeeeeeere titletitletitletitletitle! =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on November 24, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Oh, and btw, I want a NOOK, too. It has what the Kindle doesn’t and as soon as the Nook has the ability to highlight text and refer to highlighted text in either screen form or printout form…I’m buying one.
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..Twenty days? Sheesh, I was positive it had only been 19…. =-.
Comment by Aunt Becky on November 24, 2009 at 9:12 pm
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..This Ain’t Your Momma’s Pioneer Woman (Redux) =-.
Comment by grandma j on November 25, 2009 at 12:22 am
When you got to your recipe for dinner, somehow the rest of the post didn’t matter anymore. Well, to me at least, but then I’m pretty shallow at times….and hungry, and I love ground beef and bisquick.
Don’t sweat the doctor or hospital bills. As long as you send them a couple dollars a month it’s ok. My daughter owes six figures for the four years and counting for her sons leukemia treatments and inpatient care etc. They just pay what they can, and let it go.
Maybe you shouldn’t let Henrietta watch Martha anymore….they are conspiring!
Happy Thanksgiving prayers for you and your family.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
Comment by witchypoo on November 25, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Yes! Let the cleaning lapse in protest to the skanky Martha! I know you are at your wit’s end about John. Any improvement in the blood sugar thing?
.-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Oink =-.
Comment by Alex on November 25, 2009 at 8:53 pm
You’re funny. But OMG at those medical bills. Come to Australia, it’s free. Sheesh, how you cope I don’t know!
.-= Alex´s last blog ..Yawn… =-.
Comment by Mary on November 27, 2009 at 7:55 am
That you can be as funny as you are in the midst of the reality you describe is either a tribute to the resilience of the human spirit or to your feisty “don’t let the turkey’s get you down while you tell it like it is” attitude! Either one – hats off and heart out to you. May your burden lighten …soon.
.-= Mary ´s last blog ..Becoming =-.
Comment by Chief on November 28, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I am so late for this post it is ridiculous.
I am wondering if there is leftovers of your “half-assed shepherds pie”
I am sure the medical bills will top out at over 100 thousand bones…ridiculous.
my house is dirtier than your. I promise
.-= Chief´s last blog ..I’m regurgitating leftovers =-.
Comment by Nan on November 30, 2009 at 6:44 am
Mushroom soup and bisquick doth many a delicious meal make!
.-= Nan´s last blog ..Trini Christmas in Surrey, in November….. =-.
Comment by JennyMac on December 1, 2009 at 10:26 am
LOL…did you mean to call it a dickionary?
I dont have one of those but I bet I could fill one with some fun words.
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..31 days of goodness =-.
Comment by Kristina P. on December 1, 2009 at 11:19 pm
I’m with JennyMac. I couldn’t tell if that was intentional or not, but very funny!
And I agree about Dad’s calling parenting “babysitting.”
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Talking Turkey Tuesday =-.
Comment by big hair envy on December 3, 2009 at 10:06 am
-My avatar would be the perfect picture for this post:)
-I love bullet posts.
-Sorry to hear you are down in the dumps. It must be difficult to always care for others, and not have much time to tend to yourself. I’m still wondering how you always manage to look so good;)
-Want me to send wine?
-Beef Bake sounds yummy, and Martha can kiss my arse. She’s such a faker….her “crew” does all of the work.
-I like Rachael Ray. She’s chunky, spunky and cute. Plus, her meals only take 30 minutes!!! YAY! I’ll bet SHE knows how to use Bisquick;)
.-= big hair envy´s last blog ..Thanksgiving de Envy =-.
Comment by Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo on December 4, 2009 at 4:21 am
Girl I have read this post THREE TIMES and still I am confused about the Free Toes thing…
I think I need a drink. And I will spike the old ducks drink with it too if you like.
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