Well, things have just been rocking around here. We seem to be hell-bent on fertilizing an area roughly the size of Texas, with all the poop that happened last night.
I am sitting here feeling drained and uninspired to report these goings on, due mostly to the fact that I haven’t had enough coffee yet. I’ll be right back.
OK, I got a full fresh, scorching hot mug of it and am feeling like there may be hope yet.
I have been having a wee bit of trouble getting to sleep early enough and am usually nodding off about 1:00 to 2:00am. While I do enjoy my time just flitting about doing what I want or reading, whatever, at this late hour, I recognize the need to live less like a vampire and more like a human being. H doesn’t get up till really late, so neither was I. Usually.
At 10:30 I took a sleep aide. This is a first. I have never tried one before and thought that this might be a good idea to help me get a kick start on my new hours. John, who has been having hell with this respiratory infection and coughing like a three pack a day smoker, is blissfully asleep and not coughing. I begin puttering around the house getting just a few more things done before hitting the sack. Putting away any food left out, corralling the pets, locking the doors, etc. I went in and climbed in bed, really feeling the effects of this sleep aide now. Wow! This is awesome I am so sleepy, gonna be a great nights sleep, I bet John’s coughing won’t even keep me up.
So I am drifting off, picturing smothering John with a pillow if he starts coughing and what do I hear?
Go on. Take a guess.
Henrietta is aaaaaall over ringing that bell. It sounded a tad frantic, shook long and hard. (Heh, I said “long and hard”. John’s gonna razz me ’bout that.)
It was 11:20pm. I went in and she was all in a dither. “Krissa, I have to poooooooop!”
I put her on the pot and she did.
runny, yet not diarrhea
odor: not as bad as some, worse than others
messiness: about half in diaper, half in bedpan.
She was freaked out beyond belief. It was… (cue the scary music), the dreaded U.P.*
Then again at 12:40am the bell again. I literally staggered into the room. Yanked off the diaper and shoved a bedpan under her butt, all the while fielding questions about what was the matter with her.
Yeah, that sleep aide was kicking my ass.
She kept insisting that the food she ate was what upset her. This is what she always says. As far as she knows she has never had a virus, it’s always the food. We all ate the food and I pointed that out to her. We were all fine, albeit sleepy. But, no. She has “a delicate stomach” and when things are bad for her they make her sick.
I went back to sleep about 1:00am and then there was a repeat performance about 4:45. She was absolutely beside herself. Shaking and babbling about the poop. There was no poop, but she was a wired mess anticipating it. I went and got her an Ativan and gave it to her and she slept. So did I, finally. But poor John kept coughing and with all of H’s pooping and his coughing I don’t think he ever did get much.
So I slept in again this morning, *sigh* and Henrietta didn’t wake up until 1:00pm. She has taken to her sickbed and won’t be getting up today. She is all about anticipating the next poop.
Comment by witchypoo on September 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm
That is your schedule. Hers. She is making sure of it. Isn’t she sly with her UPs?
.-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Mah Drawahs =-.
Comment by Wineplz on September 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm
aaahhhh!!! not the unscheduled poop!!!! say it isn’t so!!!!! 😀
I shouldn’t laugh since I know how awful it feels to have your sleeping-aide-induced sleep interrupted multiple times, but geez-ow is that hilarious! H and her “delicate stomach”.
.-= Wineplz´s last blog ..A Feeling of General Malaise =-.
Comment by Mike Krause on September 17, 2009 at 4:00 pm
It’s more than scary to think we’re all heading in that general direction.
Comment by Kori on September 17, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Oh god, you were thinking about smothering JOHN with a pillow? I tell you, old people and babies and their poop. I send you hugs.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Soapbox #753 =-.
Comment by Betty on September 17, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Oh no, I am so sorry! That sounds like a pretty “crappy” night…
.-= Betty´s last blog ..If your pet could talk, what would you want to know? =-.
Comment by Simply Savvy Girl on September 17, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Oh Betty’s comment made me laugh. What about an all liquid diet? SSG might put herself on one of those–lemon drops for all 3 meals.
.-= Simply Savvy Girl´s last blog ..Budget Kitchen Makeover Weekend 1 – Decluttering =-.
Comment by Jennifer on September 17, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Oh my goodness… you poor thing. What a mess… 🙂 I hope tonight goes better!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Check Out My Videos =-.
Comment by Jean M. on September 17, 2009 at 7:34 pm
I’m so glad I’m “not one of those people” that can’t handle reading poop posts while eating dinner (thank God I’m just eating rice and didn’t get the beef tips). On that note, isn’t every poop an unscheduled one? Sure most can be held when it’s convenient but when you gotta go, you gotta go. Hope H gets to feeling regular soon. 🙂
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..The Task Today =-.
Comment by Karen on September 17, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Wouldn’t it be nice to have the biggest worry of your day be an unscheduled poop? Okay, well, maybe not YOUR day when it isn’t YOUR poop, but you know what I mean.
Comment by Chief on September 17, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Oh for the love of God, I didn’t even snort through that whole post! I just read it in awe. You are a true saint if there ever was one, I swear to you. I am still shaking my head. Please get better sleep tonight and don’t feed her anything just in case.
.-= Chief´s last blog ..Why do some Dr.’s have a tight sphincter? =-.
Comment by Nicole on September 17, 2009 at 11:19 pm
What is it with old people and their poop?! I am starting a list of hobbies to take up when I am older so that I will have something to obsess over other than my bowel habits (or lack thereof!)
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday: Can You Spot The Real Doll? =-.
Comment by Aunt Becky on September 18, 2009 at 12:22 pm
You poor thing. I have insomnia on the best days and I swear that I feel your pain. I’m so, so sorry.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..I Believe That Children Are Our Future And Other Sausage Tales =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on September 18, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I’d say I’m speechless…but I’m DYING to make all kinds of pithy remarks.
I’d feed her cheese and peanut butter from now on.
@Mike—ain’t it the truth!!
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..Really unfortunate labeling similarities =-.
Comment by Daughter #2 on September 19, 2009 at 12:57 am
i am still very sad that you have not put our BEAUTIFUL pictures on this blog thingy yet.
i think the people would like to see the them.
i mean who wouldn’t right.
they are very pretty.
get to it mommy.
Comment by warriorwitch on September 19, 2009 at 8:03 am
so you has a shitty situation and you’ve had a crappy time of it.
i do feel for you in your situation.
(this is my attempt at humour – hope you liked it)
.-= warriorwitch´s last blog ..relapse =-.
Comment by grandma j on September 19, 2009 at 11:30 pm
I’ve already polled all my kids. None of them will ever change my diapers when I get to that point. NONE.OF.THEM. I have four kids, love them to death, and they love me…but everytime I ask, the let me know. I think I have one SIL who would do it..I haven’t asked him yet.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
Comment by grandma j on September 19, 2009 at 11:31 pm
So, what I meant to say…is you are an angel. A real angel with patience and love. Sleep in tomorrow.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
Comment by noe noe girl on September 22, 2009 at 4:13 am
Get a nap….things will be better tomorrow! <
Comment by big hair envy on September 22, 2009 at 9:54 am
I have asked you before to stop trying to kill her with your cooking…..or by leaving a window open. You need to invite a hawt EMT over to cheer her up:) That would be a nice gesture!! I’ll bring the wine…;)
.-= big hair envy´s last blog ..Head Count =-.
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