Did you know that a smallish Phillips screwdriver makes an excellent back scratcher? Yup. It’s… working… out… great. Aaaah! I feel better now. It would have been better if John had been here for that but, I am handy with tools. heh
Stayed on the phone with Dell for roughly 45 minutes today. Fixed the pooter. Well, with the help of Armand. Ask for him if you need tech support. The only bad thing about all that is that the new hard drive we bought, ($69.99 and “spins” millions of times faster and is prettier and cleans the mud off of it’s feet before entering the house), is reported by Armand to be “wrong” for my trusty little pink Dell. No, it won’t “take” it. I am still willing to shove that little bastard in there and see. I am smart enough to wait and do it when John is home and I can blame it on him if it doesn’t work and my pooter blows up.
This ain’t my first rodeo.
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I am doodling with a post that’s a bit… heavy, at this point.
Consider yourself warned.
Have I mentioned that Pop has Alzheimer’s? How’s that for a bombshell? Maybe not so much for you as this family, OK that’s just silly, of course not so much for you as this family. Geeze. We have “known” for some time now, but it seems to be moving so FAST. It’s not just the “forgetful disease”. It’s not just “oldtimers disease”. It is so much more. It is so physically debilitating and emotionally gut wrenching. The mood swings are unbelievable. Manic highs and then a rage that no one ever saw coming. It is totally scary. And then there is my mom. Mither is unbelievably strong through all of this. Mainly, because there is no other choice. She, cries from time to time, she’d have to, being human and all, but she tries so hard not to take anything ugly he’s saying personally. The most bizarre things pop into his head and to him they are just as real as if they actually went down that way. Strange things, some of which make no difference to anybody, and other things that it is very important that he realize are not true. Only it IS true… to him. The yelling and cussing and slamming of doors. That’s the worst it’s gotten. Well, that and the extreme public embarrassment.
His frailty is amazing, he can barely get up by himself from a sitting position. He must have a cane at all times and he stumbles so easily.
But what happens when he gets physically abusive? Mither says, with no equivocation, “Nursing home.”. There’s one not too far away from them in Bridgeport, for Alzheimer’s patients. A lock down unit.
Well, how was that for a heavy topic? And really it wasn’t pointless. I guess it’s just been weighing on my mind and so out it came.
15 comments
Comment by witchypoo on August 12, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Yeah. It was Grammie’s 97th birthday yesterday. ‘She had to ask several times who I was, and I’m sure she forgot about it immediately after. Short term memory is the first to go.
.-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Freak Show Clairvoyant Edition =-.
Comment by Jean M. on August 12, 2009 at 10:06 pm
That’s just one way of getting old and passing that I would fear and believe is the worst to go both on family and self. I can’t imagine. Good for Mither in being strong and knowing when the time is right to get help.
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..WW A to Z: X is for X-Ray and some other words =-.
Comment by noe noe girl on August 13, 2009 at 7:23 am
Well damn girl -that sure sucks. Gonna keep you all in my prayers and vent and talk about this anytime you want.
I watched my dad wither away with bone cancer- this has to be just a bad.
Gonna be here for you.
Comment by Mr. Corvette on August 13, 2009 at 1:31 pm
You had mentioned this before, but apparently it is progressing rapidly. Here I sit, crying on my keyboard, remembering the Bill I knew. What a great guy!!!!!!!! My grandfather had Alzeheimers and I assumed it would be my fate as well. However, my father lived to be 90 and never had a hint of anything other than very mild dementia, so maybe I will escape. Give Mither my best. It will be a challenge, but she can handle it. She’s one of the most down-to-earth women I know.
Comment by Nicole on August 13, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Krissa – I am so sorry to hear this, but am glad to hear that Mither has accepted his diagnosis and has a plan for when she is no longer able to have Pop at home with her. Both hubby and I spent time working in the eldercare industry and saw many, many patients with Alzheimer’s; not taking the mood swings and verbal attacks personally can be terribly hard to do, and you are so very right about how emotionally and physically hard it is to deal with the affected. Hang in there and big hugs to you all!
Comment by Hyphen Mama on August 13, 2009 at 5:07 pm
My MIL’s mother had Alzheimers for at least a decade before she passed away in 2000. She went through several nursing facilities because she was kicked out of so many… for her extremely bad behavior. I met her once, she let me know she had no use for me, but I didn’t take it personally.
I cannot imagine watching my life partner go through it. I cannot imagine my docile, sweet tempered husband turning into a belligerent, abusive person. It would break my heart. I’m so sorry Mither has to contend with it. And you, too. Such a horrible disease.
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..If you aren’t the cutest, or prettiest, or most interesting….. =-.
Comment by Aunt Becky on August 13, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Alzheimer’s sucks hairy nuts and I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with it. Those stupid commercials with the happy looking older lady and her caretaker make me want to put my foot through the television set. I’m so sorry.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..It’s Not Me, It’s You =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on August 13, 2009 at 5:55 pm
BTW–remember EONS ago when you posted about the sludge in the coffee pot and I said “OMG… I need to do the same!” Yeah, I pumped vinegar through it about 2 weeks ago (hey, I was able to get over the part where I was drinking filthy coffee… one does what one has to do to get by), then it’s taken me another 2 weeks to get clean water brewed through it to clean out the vinegar. SO.. I haven’t made any coffee in several weeks. I JUST THIS VERY MINUTE finished cleaning the danged thing. And I thought of you.
I’m good. I know.
Now… where’s that steamy thing to vacuum the carpets?
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..If you aren’t the cutest, or prettiest, or most interesting….. =-.
Comment by Predo on August 13, 2009 at 8:45 pm
A time will come, and don’t I know it. There will come a point when he will need a different kind of care then even the Great Halfasstic can provide. Fight the home off as long as you have the strength, but be ready for it as the last resort.
When that time comes, you must let it happen. No guilt, no agonizing “what if’s” and certainly no self blame. From what I know of you, you are descended from Mother Teresa and have more then earned your place in heaven. When the time comes to decide, I am here with all the hugs you can handle!
By the way, I went MAC. You know what the say! Yeah, makes my ass look fabulous!!!!
.-= Predo´s last blog ..The day after…. =-.
Comment by Roger on August 14, 2009 at 6:03 am
Armand? Was that his real name? 🙂
Sorry to hear about your Pop, but also glad to hear that Mither is there for him. I can only imagine what it would be like and my prayers are with you and your family, especially Pop and Mither.
.-= Roger´s last blog ..Pass the Excedrin =-.
Comment by Ree on August 15, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Oh honey. {{hugs}} I’m so sorry.
.-= Ree´s last blog ..A Poem for Detroit =-.
Comment by Karen on August 16, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I’m sorry about Pop. It’s so hard to watch it happen. Gram lived with us when I was little, and I saw it from a different perspective then.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Unquestionably =-.
Comment by Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo on August 17, 2009 at 5:30 am
Firstly, Armand is a vampire name. And that is kinda awesome.
Secondly, hugs to you babe. Both of my grandmothers had dementia and it is very similar to Autism. So I KNOW what you are all going through.
Comment by Chief on August 24, 2009 at 9:05 pm
I have a mother in law in the early stages. It is frightening for all of us, especially my husband.
Dell reps are hit and miss…I’ve had more misses. Why the hell do they have to be foreign?
.-= Chief´s last blog ..Yes, it is a squeegee (I can not make this crap up people) =-.
Comment by Jennifer on September 5, 2009 at 10:27 am
It really is such an awful…devastating disease. I used to work on an alzheimer unit while I was in nursing school. I have seen the toll it takes on families. My great grandma had it too and was really hard to watch. When they start to get abusive, as most often times happens, it’s especially hard. A friend’s family just had to put the father in a home because of it… and he’s only 70. It’s been progressing for some time.
I’m sorry that your family is touched by this. Good thing Mither has a clear plan. but plan or not, it’s still incredibly difficult I know. It’s so hard to watch our families age…
Hugs!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Kinda Cool =-.
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