As most of you who have been hanging in there with me for a while probably know, Mither and Pop are my lifelong loves. My mommy and daddy from the get-go.
I think I alluded to the fact that Pop adopted me when I was five years old in a previous post… actually I can’t remember and don’t really feel like going and looking for it. But, trust me, he did! 🙂
As soon as he and Mither got married, they took me up to the courthouse and the nice judge, (a friend of Pop’s), swore me in and explained everything to me, (one more time). He said some words and reminded me which hand was my right one and showed me how to hold it up while we took our oaths. I took Pop to be my father and he took me to be his daughter. It was all pretty cool and I felt like a big shot. I looked for any reason I could find for ages, to call him “Daddy” , and when I’d forget and call him Bill, I’d slap my hand over my mouth and squirm until I could think of something else to tell him so that I could use the word “Daddy”. He’s been my daddy ever since. The only father I’ve ever known.
Mom, (you know her as Mither), and my natural father divorced when I was a baby, shortly after my older brother was killed in a drunk driving accident with my father behind the wheel. He was an alcoholic and my brother, Kurt had been standing in the front seat beside him. Kurt was 22 months old. I was three months old. Mither and I weren’t in the car.
I had nothing to do with my natural father my entire life, with the exception of one meeting with him when I was in college. He came to the town my college was in and met me at the little Mexican restaurant. He paid the bill after supper and with the exception of giving my dad permission to adopt me, that’s all he ever did for me after he and Mither divorced.
I learned around that time of two half sisters I have and even had a conversation on the phone with them. They were much younger than I was, but it was very interesting to talk to them, and they seemed really nice.
I never really gave it much of a thought again, or at least not enough to really look hard for them.
Fast forward to a few days ago when Mither called me and said that she was cleaning some things out and found some old letters from my father and some photographs of my half sisters and she would mail them all to me.
The little girl’s pictures are decades old, and and yellowed. They appear to be from the early 80’s.
The letters are full of drama and a good deal of angst. They are really very much like my mither described my father.
There were some phone numbers in one of the letters and I picked the one that looked like it was possibly where he was working at the time and called it. It was his AA group, but the guy that answered the phone knew him and said he was dead. He had died 10 or 12 years ago. This took the wind out of my sails just a bit. How was I going to find my half sisters now? The man was really very nice and friendly and said he knew some people who knew my father better than he did and he’d get my number to them.
In just a few minutes the phone rang and another nice man told me over and over how sorry he was that I was just finding out he was dead, and I finally made him understand that really, I only met the guy the one time.
He told me that he’d give my number to my father’s ex-brother-in-law and he felt sure that he or my father’s ex-wife would call me back.
Sure enough, again in a few minutes, the phone rang and it was a nice lady that used to be married to him. She said that he had died of lung cancer in 1993, but said that my grandmother was still alive and, as far as she knew, living in Garland Texas. So I googled her, found her phone number, called and she answered the phone. She’s 93, living in the same house she was in when I was born and one of my half-sisters lives there with her for the time being. She said that she had had a drug problem some years ago and after she did the rehab thing she went back to school and was staying there with her while completing it. She wasn’t home at the moment.
So that’s about it. I found my natural father, only he’s dead. BUT, I now know where to call my grandmother and she can hook me up with my halfsisters… if that’s a good idea or not is anybody’s guess.
16 comments
Comment by Mike Krause on June 25, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Great story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by Serendipitous Girl on June 25, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Krissa! Holy Baby Jesus that is SOME story. Are you okay?!
Comment by Karen on June 26, 2009 at 7:55 am
Interesting how the world happens around you every now and then, isn’t it? Just a few years ago I learned that I have a half sister. Who knew? It is, indeed, weird.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..I Had Our Social Status Wrong All This Time =-.
Comment by Hyphen Mama on June 26, 2009 at 9:24 am
Jeez–here I am all speechless.
Will you tell Mither and Pop what has transpired?
.-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..Letters to the Universe =-.
Comment by Kori on June 26, 2009 at 10:04 am
The great thig about it is that you don’t have to decide right this minute whether this is something you want to do or not; you can have a day or six to mull the idea over and contemplate it all. My older sisters are really only my half-sisters (we all have the same dad, but they have the same mom as well), and in hte past few years they have found other half-siblings out there-one sister really wants to make a connection with them and has met several, one sister is meh, either way, and the third sister is adamantly UN-interesdted; each one of them feels the way they do for their own reasons, and I think it is okay no matter WHAT.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Friday Fragments =-.
Comment by nng on June 26, 2009 at 10:28 am
I’m there with ya Krissa~ I found my dad when I was in my 20’s and he died before I met him. But after he died I found 2 half brothers and 2 half sisters all with different mothers! Who am I???
Comment by Ree on June 26, 2009 at 11:39 am
Wowza.
I’m speechless. And you know that’s not easy to do.
.-= Ree´s last blog ..Haiku Friday – Michael Jackson =-.
Comment by Jean M. on June 26, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Wow that is “weird”. You got more cahonies than I to call around and find things out. Maybe it will be a good thing, who knows?
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..Vacation Day 1 =-.
Comment by witchypoo on June 26, 2009 at 5:02 pm
If you want weird, my family invented it!
.-= witchypoo´s last blog ..The Toy Computer Hits The Road =-.
Comment by Maggie on June 27, 2009 at 7:31 am
Wow. This is an amazing story. It grabbed my heart. You are an incredible writer who can bring out emotions through that writing. Thank you for sharing and God Bless.
.-= Maggie´s last blog ..Michael Jackson Dies =-.
Comment by The Predo on June 27, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Wow! Of course I am under no authority to hand out family advice at all, but I have learned that taking the easy road only leads to regret.
Take that with how ever many grains of salt you wish, and if things get tough, just picture me naked! That should bring a laugh!!!!
.-= The Predo´s last blog ..And then it was Sunday….. =-.
Comment by Big Hair Envy on June 28, 2009 at 8:48 pm
If it feel right to you, contact them!! Go with your gut, and make sure it’s on YOUR terms.
I have one friend who was able to find her half sister after several years of trying. Another friend has been searching for decades….to no avail.
.-= Big Hair Envy´s last blog ..Blog Fest News! =-.
Comment by Big Hair Envy on June 28, 2009 at 8:48 pm
**feels**!!! GAH! I need to go to bed:/
.-= Big Hair Envy´s last blog ..Blog Fest News! =-.
Comment by iamthediva on June 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Wow, that’s quite a story. thanks for sharing.
.-= iamthediva´s last blog ..T-Minus 6 Days…. =-.
Comment by Tink on July 1, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Wow. That’s heavy! I haven’t talked to my Father in about five years. We weren’t exactly close before that though. We have no way of contacting each other and that’s probably a good thing. He’s a bad man. I wonder sometimes if I won’t try to find him one day and hear that he’s dead. I wonder too if I don’t have half siblings he never told me about. I may never know…
Comment by grandma j on July 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Just found your blog…it isn’t listed in the “my blog” spot on your profile, and I’m too lame to spend more than 3 seconds looking, but today I did.
If you want to know your sisters, you will. Maybe correspond with your grandmother for no other reason than the fact that she’s old, would love a letter, card or picture, and she’s a victim of your bio dad’s alcoholism too.
.-= grandma j´s last blog .. =-.
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