Henrietta has been having trouble with her allergies lately and suffering from an occasional sinus headache. In the past four and a half years that she has lived here and I’ve been taking care of her, I have repeatedly given her two Ibuprofen for minor aches and pains, headaches, arthritis, etc. It doesn’t happen that often, yet every time it does there is a long explanation of what I’m giving her, what it’s for, did the doctor OK it, does the nurse know, will it make her fall asleep, what will it do to her, is it “habit forming”.
Now, ya see, this doesn’t happen very often. But that little old bat has a memory like a pissed off wife. She remembers everything I have told her about the wonders that are Ibuprofen and every time I give it to her a couple of hours later she is flabbergasted that she is “cured!“.
Well, yesterday she was having a terrible time with her allergies and complaining that her head was hurting, so I asked her if she would like to have some Ibuprofen.
Looking slightly alarmed and worried, she said, “Weeeell,… I guess so…”
I gave it to her and she was amazed when I put her to bed later at how it had just gone away. Her allergies had also cleared up in the meantime, for whatever reason, and she attributed this to the Ibuprofen. I told her no, it didn’t do that. Her allergies just cleared up on their own and she was insistent that that’s the way it worked on her.
That was yesterday. Today she is again having trouble with her allergies and chose to stay in bed, (because she is convinced she has to be in bed if she is feeling bad at all), even after I told her that her head would drain easier if she was sitting up in a chair.
Apparently it’s harder to be pitiful sitting up in a chair, than lying in bed. Don’t question it. These are the findings.
So I asked her if she would like some Ibuprofen. I mean after all if worked like the miracle drug it is, yesterday. “Ooooh… again?”
“Yes, Henrietta, it will help your headache.”
“Well… I don’t know… Is it habit forming?”
I was on my way out at this point to get the meds. *deep sigh* “No, it’s not.”
“Oh…OK” sounding almost disappointed.
And then, as I was nearing the door, I heard that little old bag mumble resignedly, “I guess I’ll be an addict….”
Comment by Roger on May 25, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I heard that the black market for ibuprofen is booming, so you better get some quick, otherwise you will have to deal with all that withdrawel. 🙂
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Comment by The Predo on May 25, 2009 at 4:35 pm
OMG, do we need to have an intervention? I shall gather everyone I know and we will pick up some rattle snakes on the way and have us a good ol’ fashion Baptist Revival Intervention to get her off that horrible pill from the bowels of Satan.
Then you and I can go get drunk on wine in the back yard and call it our sacrifice!
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Comment by Krissa on May 25, 2009 at 6:47 pm
The snot pot will make her allergies a non-issue
Comment by witchypoo on May 25, 2009 at 6:48 pm
All right. I was channeling Krissa, but it was really me who said that about the snot pot.
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Comment by Jean M. on May 25, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Yeah, we can’t have you narcing up the ol lady.
Comment by Ree on May 25, 2009 at 7:36 pm
I’ll send you some Narc-a-non brochures my ex-husband left laying around. 😉
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Comment by Noe Noe Girl on May 26, 2009 at 8:02 am
I’m calling the authorities! You dont need this abuse!
Comment by big hair envy on May 26, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I KNEW you were trying to get that poor old lady addicted to ibuprofen! You should be ashamed of yourself…!!! Bwahahaha!
big hair envy’s last blog post..Girls’ Weekend
Comment by Tink on May 26, 2009 at 9:10 pm
That reminds me of the scene in Birdcage where Agador has Armand convinced that he’s taking hardcore drugs when in reality it’s just Asprin with the A and S scraped off. Lol.
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Comment by Dingo on May 27, 2009 at 2:10 am
You know, Tic Tacs are cheaper than Ibuprofen. Just a thought.
Dingo’s last blog post..Best Idea Ever!
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