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Recently, John was practically comatose from overwork and sleep deprivation, when I woke him while getting in bed and he made a remark that if given a fraction of a second to respond while wide awake and alert he would have rather died than say. He clearly wasn’t thinking straight and it was obviously not meant to be mean spirited. He spoke these words to me and then, promptly rolled over and fell back to sleep.
I admit to feeling a tad stung at the exact moment, but in seconds I wanted to laugh, just because it really was out of character for him to say something so critical about my appearance.
I wasn’t going to say what he said, (out of deference to him), but it really was harmlessly meant.
He reached up to my face, (I was sitting up reading), and gently touched my cheek. As I smiled and leaned into his hand a little he mumbled, “You’re getting some deep lines here… I noticed it the other day…”. He, quite literally, rolled over and went back to sleep.
He was touching my laugh lines.
Needless to say I was… flabbergasted and a touch peeved, (not to mention a wrinkled up old prune), and I also knew, without a doubt, that he would never remember this tomorrow. So I filled him in the next day and he was properly sorry and contrite, and had no recollection of the remark.
I shared this story with Kessa, the 19 year old child and she was incredulous. Then a few days later, John told me that Kessa had, “ripped” him.
“Well, she started in on me about what happened the other night when I made that dumb remark to you about wrinkles and then Keelan walked in and Kes told her about it and they both jumped on me and I wasn’t sure I was gonna get out of here alive.”
HA! My girls are looking out for me!
OK, fast forward several days to yesterday. John and I were talking and making lists and whatnot as he was off work. I told him I need some new bras. He said, Oh, Ok, or something like that. And then made some off color remarks about why he doesn’t want me to wear them at all or some such thing.
After that he casually mentioned that it wasn’t too long ago that I got new bras and I agreed that it wasn’t that long but they really don’t do that much for me and I have my eye on one that will get ’em up there. He then looked at me and said “What do you mean?”.
I was in a nightgown and said, “Well, they’re here…and I want them somewhere higher. Don’t you think?”
He immediately opened his mouth and snapped it shut like he was trying to catch flies. It’s a wonder he didn’t bite his tongue off. He then squinted a little, looked slightly pained and very slowly said, “Where do YOU want them to be?”
Heh. Yeah, he may be careless from time to time but, he’s not that stupid!