How to put this…?
Several times in the past few months there has been a little… eh, afternoon delight going on in the HalfAsstic boudoir when, WITH NO WARNING WHATSOEVER, there has been a knock on the door. Or worse, a rattling of the doorknob. (Which is always locked because hey, we may be naive enough to think that we can actually get amorous while the others in this house are awake, but we’re not totally storybook-stupid.) And then there’s always the ubiquitous ringing of the damn bell from Henrietta, but there’s nothing to be done about that.
Aaanywaaaay, over a month ago I told Lisa that we had a Lucy and Ethel mission to go on that would only rate a 1 on the five star Lucy and Ethel Absurdity Scale, yet, it needed to be done.
Nay, it MUST BE DONE.
I could tell that she felt like I might be just wasting her time with a measly one star mission, but, in true BFF fashion she jumped on board. When I explained the situation and what needed to be done to remedy it there was no question. Appropriate measures would need to be taken.
My first instinct was to head to the local Motel 6 and just steal one off any old random doorknob. Lisa would be the “get away driver”. (Like I said, a dismal 1 on The Scale.)
Before any of this could happen Lisa left on a cruise with a few family members. Her aunt knew about what I was in need of and though about me while on the ship. Lisa returned with the very best “I went on vacation and you got stuck here changing shitty diapers and hauling an old lady around gift” ever. For me anyway.
Perfect. And now your kids are groaning at their ancient horny parents.
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And guess who doesn’t give a rat’s ass?
Good for YOU, girlfriend!!! Your kids will get over it one day….after they spend a fortune in therapy!!! Bwahahaha!
I have NEVER been to proud to LOCK THE DARN DOOR!!!!
I guess John has not been as tired and worn out from work as you have led us to believe. Is it possible this could be related to his recent weight loss?
Yeeeoooow! Get it girl! I hope that sign is hanging on the door DAILY!
Serendipitous Girl’s last blog post..Fear Factor?
Heavens above, Krissa! This one is quite a bit more than i or your aunt wanted to know. You could at least warn us.
Love,
Mither
hee! I need one of those.
Wait! I live in a hotel more than 50% of my week. I could get 4 of those a month!
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Bwahahaha!!! I love it. Your kids will need therapy just knowing that green beans are happening right there in the middle of the day.
Karen’s last blog post..So Much for a Happy Birthday
Green Beans? WTH? I have heard and used a LOT of euphimisms in my life bit that one takes the cake. I would use it at my house only Owen loves him some green beans!
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