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You know how it is when people are waiting to see something that you are responsible for showing them and you show up and give it to them and everyone is like, “What? That’s IT? That’s ALL? That’s all you’ve got?” ? And there are some disgusted looks and rude remarks about your being incompetent and how you talk a good game but don’t deliver and let downs and rude assumptions about your parentage…
Well, don’t worry. I’ve got pictures. Just not a lot of them. And it’s not cause John wouldn’t let me, either. It’s mostly because there just didn’t seem to be any time.
Yesterday afternoon the lady throwing the shindig at her house, next door, came over and told me that it wasn’t going to start until 8:00 instead of 7:00. At the time I thought this was a good thing since John is having to work such long days right now and is getting in so late in general. It would make it easier for him to finish up at work and make it on time. Well, he barely did. I was all ready to go and I threw him together and we took off for next door. The party went on till after 1:00 AM, people. We sat around the table and discussed our theories of who did what and played our roles and it really was fun but, by the end, everyone was stifling yawns. And poor John had gotten up at 5:30 AM and had to do it again this morning along with having an incredibly busy day with it being Superbowl Sunday.
In the end, NOBODY guessed the murderer. Out of 20 people. NOBODY. So the person who was throwing it, pulled a name out of a bowl and it was Cesar. I screamed out that it was rigged and I wanted a recount. Cesar issued a warrant for my arrest and, eventually, when I reached “trial”, he sentenced me to be beheaded. Luckily the party ended soon and I escaped with my head. (Lucky? Whatever.)
Here’s the group of us. John is the pretty, tall woman in the pink organza veil in the back. I am the proud Roman Senator oozing testosterone and struggling not to adjust my crotch while the picture is being snapped, standing in front of him to the right a tad.
I would like to point out here that John started out with false eyelashes that had glitter on them and you can maybe see the bunch of grapes hanging around his neck on a gold cord? Yeah, there were two of them, strategically placed so that he had fruit hanging in front of each “boob”. I can’t tell you how many times I had to snap at men there to keep their hands off his, (I mean her) melons, er, I mean grapes. I mean you’d be surprised how hard it is to look after the virtue of a Vestal Virgin. Repeatedly, I had to tell people to keep their hands off him her. She was so cute and coy, blushing and batting her eyelashes when I slapped her on the butt… I told her that I’d take her home with me and show her my etchings.
It worked!
John’s glittered eyelashes… He didn’t keep them on very long. About two hours into the party he said they were bugging him too much and he snatched them off. There was disappointment from all the men in the room who had told him he “looked pretty”. And, frankly, I think some of the women were jealous.
Clearly, I need a shave. But I think the most disturbing thing is how BIG some of my hair follicles are. There’s something strange going on here… I don’t know why they aren’t all showing up on my upper lip. I had it there just as heavy, OR, maybe I wasn’t done with the application when I took this. I don’t remember.
And remember that UTI that I so lovingly shared about with you, yesterday? Yeah. Still haven’t gotten a thank you card for that and I am considering holding my breath till I do. I’m just saying…
Well to show what kind of a good sport I am, I am including a gratuitous shot of the full catheter bag this morning.
I have two immediate emotions here:
1. Yeaaaaaa! A working catheter! No more pee diapers!!!
2. What the hell is that in the bag?
Crap. It looks like…. pumpkin juice? Now, do you really think she’s going to be able to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday when the analysis is back and the Dr. gets around to prescribing an antibiotic? I bet she’s in the hospital by tomorrow or Tuesday…
10 comments
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Predo on February 1, 2009 at 5:59 pm
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I am so glad you had such a great evening, and might I say, YOU ARE FABULOUS! I am so jealous of the party!
On note number two, I hope H is doing well. I am sending good thoughts and hugs her way!
Love visiting you everyday!
Predo’s last blog post..Super-bowl?
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witchypoo on February 1, 2009 at 11:11 pm
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That John is such a hussy. Thanks for the pee photo. I needed that.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Carrot Cake-Better Than Mens?
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Roger
Twitter: mylhibug
on February 1, 2009 at 11:48 pm
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Looks like you had a grand ole time there, and John was quite an eyeful, and you need a shave.
Looks like UTI pee to me, sorry. Hope H is feeling better.
Roger’s last blog post..And Then the Fight Started…
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Serendipitous Girl on February 2, 2009 at 7:59 am
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Oh my–pee at 5 a.m. THANK YOU for that! And you guys look awesome! One of the guys at work dressed in drag for Halloween and kept pointing to his eyes all day telling the other guys in the office “I’m up here.”
AWESOME.
Serendipitous Girl’s last blog post..Digs & Spleen
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Jean M. on February 2, 2009 at 9:21 am
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Awesome is all I can say about that! Vestal Virgin in deed.
Hope they get her some antibiotics soon. That just looks beyond painful. The puny UTI’s Ive had were painful enough…I can’t imagine. Bless her heart!
Jean M.’s last blog post..Story Time
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Ree on February 2, 2009 at 10:03 am
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witchypoo stole my entire comment.
Ree’s last blog post..Mute Monday – Creatures
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Jennifer on February 2, 2009 at 12:49 pm
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Yikes…that pee looks like it must hurt. I hope antibiotics are being ingested as we speak!
The party looks fun! Love your costumes! John makes a lovely vestal virgin…lol. Have a great day!
Jennifer’s last blog post..Yes, I Went There…
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Tink on February 2, 2009 at 1:22 pm
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Ahahahahaha @ the party pictures. THANK YOU! Those are awesome.
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big hair envy on February 4, 2009 at 1:37 pm
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That party looks like SO much fun!!! Your costumes were great! You can’t really blame the other men for fondling John – pink organza and glitter send them over the edge every time.
big hair envy’s last blog post..17
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halfassaunt on February 4, 2009 at 9:34 pm
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Well Krissa, I will have to say, my whole life has hinged on pictures of you and John Sat night.. I guess you know, I am bitterly dissapointed in John’s picture.. Your face along with the group picture is acceptable, but I do need to see more of John. More More More pictues, I tell you
Love
Me
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