I would like to report that on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, my SIL called me and said that she had gotten the ham she had agreed to bring and it was a nice big spiral cut. She made a point of saying that it was already cooked and mentioned it a couple of times. Ok, great. I’ve gotten spiral cut hams before and yes, that’s the way they come. Cooked.
I guess I wasn’t too worried since I was doing a huge turkey and I was sure there was going to be enough for everyone.
The following morning, Thanksgiving Day, she called to say that she was going to bring it over to my house to heat up. OK, fine. She then told me that she was going over to her ex-husbands house for a meal at noon with her kids since we were going to eat in the evening when John got home. I told her to be sure and bring a pan to heat the ham in since all my sheet cake pans were being used for cakes and casseroles and what not. She said she’d buy one and I told her not to bother, I’d wash it, just use a pan from her house. She told me that she doesn’t own a sheet cake pan, or any other pan other than a skillet and pot.
She is 55 years old. How can this be?
It gets better. I asked her what time she was coming over and she indicated not until shortly before we were going to eat. I told her the ham would have to heat for longer than that and asked her to read the directions on it. She insisted that the ham only needed about 20 minutes to heat and went over to it and told me it was 10 lbs, would only require about 20 minutes to heat.
I said “Millie, read the directions to me.”
Millie: deep sigh, “Heat for 15 minutes per pound… hum…”
“That’s two and a half hours, Millie.”
She said she’d take care of it and I assumed she was going to heat it at her ex-husband’s house, at least partially. No. She showed up with a cold ham and we hacked off a bunch of slices, put them in the microwave with a little bit of water and heated them up. It worked out fine, but, man! how could anyone grow to be 55 years old and know so little about something so simple?
And the question of the day is, what made her so sure it only took 20 minutes to heat the ten pound ham?
Comment by scott on December 1, 2008 at 4:02 pm
What an idiot? How hard is it really?
We often use the disposable pans from the grocery store. They work great.
Comment by scott on December 1, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Comment by Memarie Lane on December 1, 2008 at 4:05 pm
sounds like my mom, she can’t understand why two chicken thighs can’t feed six people. she’s 57.
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Comment by big hair envy on December 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm
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Comment by Predo on December 1, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Okay, so I am already handicapped by being a man, but even I know that things take longer then that to heat up! I would have said 40 min…….JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!
Predo’s last blog post..Parachute pants and teenage angst….
Comment by Serendipitous Girl on December 1, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Maybe SHE only takes 20 minutes to heat up and figured everything else does too? And DUDE! How did I know you’d be the only one to offer a very valid suggestion on my bloat problem after this weekend ; )
Serendipitous Girl’s last blog post..Weekend ABC’s – B is for Bobs & Bestsellers
Comment by Ree on December 2, 2008 at 9:06 am
She heats it up on the broil setting, silly.
Ree’s last blog post..Mute Monday – Q
Comment by Burgh Baby on December 2, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Ahhh, the joys of Thanksgiving. It forever will be known as the holiday that separates the real cooks from the rookies and the instruction readers from the stubborn.
Burgh Baby’s last blog post..I Probably Should Have Asked the Question Before I Bought Those Toys
Comment by Tink on December 2, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Sounds like she got an extra helping of “stubborn” in her genes. 🙂
Comment by Anglophile Football Fanatic on December 2, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I think she was watching the Jodie Foster version of Freaky Friday where you stick it in the oven at 500 to cook it faster?
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..The Bigger The Better The Tighter the Sweater
Comment by Roger on December 4, 2008 at 12:34 am
At least you still had turkey. 🙂
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