I promised John I wouldn’t post about his… stomach virus issues, so I’m not.
HOWEVER, this does not mean Lisa is safe from my marauding posting.
Years ago, Lisa and I and her daughter Brittany, Kessa and Keelan were on our way to, (or from… can’t remember) my parents house when they lived in Trinity, Texas. Kessa and Brittany were both 10 years old and Keelan was 8. It was a good three hour drive and we were on the north side of Houston…. somewhere. Not any area we were terribly familiar with.
Lisa and I were chatting away, as usual, while she drove and the girls were doing their own thing in the back seat. Lisa squirmed a little bit and mentioned that her stomach was feeling bad. A few minutes later she was moving around in her seat looking pained and she said her stomach was really hurting. Seconds later she was speculating that she was going to have diarrhea. Momentarily there was some deep breathing and rapid panting that I swear she had done in the delivery room, combined with extreme butt clenching exercises. She was writhing in the seat as she drove us faster and faster down the highway and we all searched frantically for a convenient place for her to go potty.
The priceless thing I will NEVER forget was when we were up to about 80 miles an hour and Lisa was bouncing up and down in the drivers seat, I glanced back at the girls in the back. It had gone deathly quiet back there and three pairs of eye’s had grown saucer sized and were bouncing back and forth from me to Lisa on mildly terrified faces.
I wanted to laugh so hard right then! I mean I felt SO bad for Lisa and was really a little worried myself that we weren’t going to find a bathroom in time, but you should have seen the looks on those girl’s faces!
We finally spied a Target and zoomed in the parking lot where Lisa leaped out of the car and raced in while I got out and went around to the driver’s side to get us out of the firelane. We drove over to a parking spot and watched and one of the girls piped up and said, “… ya think she made it?”
In a few minutes she came out with a sack in her hands and headed for the car.
She had purchased a potent anti-diarrheal and a box of Tucks Medicated Wipes after she came out of the bathroom.
There were no more incidences the rest of the way home, but I glanced back several times just to see the difference in the looks on the girls faces from when we were desperatly seeking a bathroom. I laughed every time I looked at them and the memory of the sheer terror in their eyes still makes me grin.
Comment by Ree on December 4, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Ree’s last blog post..Conversation #2,387,273
Comment by Predo on December 4, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Lisa, I am sooooooo sorry, but that was way to funny! I am sincerely glad you made the rest room, but I be your underwear were in a far bigger panic then the girls in the back seat!
Oh, and don’t get mad at our friend Halfasstic, it is not like she said there was a call for “Clean up on Aisle 8” or anything……
Predo’s last blog post..My apologies ladies….How is this Santa?
Comment by Serendipitous Girl on December 4, 2008 at 11:41 pm
That’s the WORST feeling ever! And Predo’s “Clean Up on Aisle 8 Comment” cracked me up.
Serendipitous Girl’s last blog post..He Speaks! And Meh.
Comment by cool breeze on December 5, 2008 at 8:45 am
Being a man, you know I like a good s**t story!
Comment by Colleen on December 28, 2008 at 1:36 am
Oh mah hell!!! Though after pushing out two big-blocked-headed babies, I’m like that sometimes even when it’s NOT Montezuma’s revenge pushing on my sphincter…
Colleen’s last blog post..I Love Santa!
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