Archive for December, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings, Fun, Free Ecards and Award!

Author: Krissa

Dec 15

I see these fairly often on other people’s sites and they are always much fun to do so I thought I’d try one, but I’m making up my own words.  Well, OK, not making up words, you know, but doing my own list of new words.  Well, OK, not new words, but a new list…

Oh for Pete’s sake, just give it a try.

Copy and paste the following words into the comment box and put your answer next to the given word.  You’ll find my answers below the list.  But, if you’re like me you won’t want to read anybody else’s answers until you put down your own because it makes me you focus on their answer and not as able to think freely of my your own.

Whatev.

1. Book:

2. angst:

3. drama:

4. paper plates:

5. toothpick:

6. leaves:

7. self-portrait:

8. sister:

9. light:

10. carpet:

OK, here are my answers results:

1. Book: Long hot bath with John Grisham… er, you KNOW what I mean.

2. angst: teenager

3. drama: teenage girl

4. paper plates: put dishwasher soap on the grocery list

5. toothpick: skinny

6. leaves: Rake!  Front yard looks like a bunch of Mexicans live here.  (Oops… I forgot.)

7. self-portrait: VanGogh

8. sister: argue

9. light: lamp

10. carpet: Flor catalog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And if all this fun and frivolity wasn’t enough, get this.

I was reading Ree’s blog, Hotfessional yesterday and came across this worthy information:

Along with a good sized list of giving people who are making valuable contributions out there, Robeez is making donations for every eCard that is sent.  So for heaven’s sake send an ecard, heck, send a lot of them!  The money goes to K.I.D.S, (Kids In Distressed Situations).  It’s free to send them and they’re really cute.

And then!

My dear friend, SSG over at Confessions of a (Sometimes) Serendipitous Girl, has awarded me with a shiny new award!  Good old brother, Cam has already got it all squared away in my sidebar.  Love the love!  It says I’m a “Superior Scribbler”…What I think she meant was “Demented”, but, I’m not gonna split hairs.  It was very sweet and I loves her for it!

Thanks SSG!

That’s it for me.  I gotta go wipe H’s butt.

Oh.  You think I’m kidding?

I’m not.  ;-)

16 Comments
Filed under: Award!, Blather, Charity, crazy shit, Henrietta, just plain weird, Like a game show but without good prizes, Lists, Poop, Strange

Ewwwww, GROSS!

Author: Krissa

Dec 14

Well, here it is.  Sunday.  About twice a month my SIL sees fit to come and visit her mother for an average of about an hour and a half.  NORMALLY she shows up long after the “poop-time-frame”.  Today, however, she miscalculated and appeared before H was off the bedpan.  So, by default, (and CAUSE I SAY SO), the bedpan duty and diapering and dressing of H falls to her.

I was sitting in here doing bloggy stuff and I realized that she was running the water in the tub in the guest bath.

Well, this is odd.

Normally, you just go in and dump the, ahem, contents of the bedpan into the potty and run water in it from the sink and dump again and wipe out whatever… stuck, with a bit of toilet paper.  You also dump the plastic, Folger’s coffee can full of urine from the catheter bag into the potty, fill with water and repeat.  All of this while wearing latex gloves and then following up behind yourself spraying the facet handles and bedpan handles and coffee can handles with spray bleach.  Not to mention the interior of the receptacles.

Well, cuorisity got the better of me when I heard her spraying something over and over and the bathtub running.

Crap, the only thing in there that sprays right now is the spray bleach and last time she used it she ruined the bathmats… somehow, both of them.

So I go in there and she has the toilet brush in one hand and the urine bucket in the other and she is “cleaning” the thing out and dumping the contents into the bathtub.

“Millie!  You don’t do that in the bathtub!”

“Oh, I didn’t dump the pee in there!”  As she sticks the toilet brush under the tap.

I just left.  It really doesn’t matter at this point what I say, cause it all has to be cleaned anyway.  People really do bathe in that tub.

Does anyone want to come and visit me? ;-)

8 Comments
Filed under: Apocalypse, Chapped Arse, Henrietta, Housekeeping, Poop, SIL

Ho Ho Humm

Author: Krissa

Dec 13

I don’t know what to do next.  Holiday decorating is going… well, slowly.  *sigh*  Just can’t seem to get in the spirit of things…  My whole house seems to smell of poop and sadness.    Well, maybe that’s just my take on things, cause nobody else has mentioned it.  No.  Do NOT call the health department.  Really.  STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE.

The tree is up and it’s one of those pre-lit ones that looks wonderful when the lights actually WORK on it.  Last year, (only the third year we had it), the entire middle section didn’t light up.  So I just piled on more lights and it looked OK.  For some reason I was expecting it to work this year when I plugged it in.  No.  It hates me.  It’s been talking to those elitist live bushes in the front yard that are (still) pissed off about the snow.

I DID, however, come across this most excellent recipe for a holiday… favorite(?) that I am willing to share with you all.  You may have seen it before… but it’s worth a re-read.

World’s Greatest Fruitcake

1c water

1c sugar

4 large eggs

2 c dried fruit

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

1c brown sugar

Lemon juice

nuts

1 bottle of whiskey

This is very easy to make and awesomely delicious, especially for the tiny amount of trouble.  Assemble all ingredients and be sure you have enough counter space.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.  Grab a large bowl.  To be sure the whiskey is of highest quality, pour one cup and drink.

Repeat process.

Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add one tsp. sugar and 1 cup baking soda and give it a beating.  Check the whiskey and turn off the mix machine thingy.  Add two whole eggs to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit.  Mix on the turner.  When the fruit gets stuck in the beaters pry ‘em loose with a drewscriver.

Check whiskey once more for tonsisticity.  Shtir in two cups of salt.  Or something white.  Pour another cup of whiskey, use both hands so you don’t spill.  Sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Spoon.  Of sugar or whatever you have handy.

Grease the oven.  Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.  Don’t forget to time the setter.  Aw, heck save time and put it where it would end up anyway: in the garbage.  Except the whiskey.  Finish the whiskey and crawl to bed.

Now, see.  Wasn’t that a simple recipe?  I believe I’ve made it before, but for some reason the whole episode seems kinda foggy to me…

Merry Christmas, everybody!

6 Comments
Filed under: Cooking, crazy shit, Like a game show but without good prizes, Oh crap!, Poop, Strange

Let it snow, let it snow… you know the rest!

Author: Krissa

Dec 11

Well, something totally unexpected happened to the small town of Dickinson last night.  Now, keep in mind we live about 20 minutes inland from the Gulf of Mexico.  Or, as we call it, the Gulf Coast.  It’s pretty freakin’ tropical here.  OK, it can be unbearably tropical here.  Humidity hovers at 110% all summer and it’s not uncommon for it to never dip to freezing in the winter.

Now.  Keeping that in mind how often would you think we see snow?  Not often.  The freakiest thing I will ever be able to say about snow down here happened four years ago on Christmas Eve.  That’s right.  We had one of those rare snowfalls that only happens about once every 5 to 7 years and it was on Christmas Eve.  It was so beautiful Christmas morning.  My dear Miter and Pop live up a little bit north of Ft. Worth and get snow, usually every year.  Though, not always a lot of it.  They are both from the small town they live in and have never in their lives had a white Christmas.  It was pretty surreal calling them and telling them we were having one.

Last night it snowed again.  We got a good blanket of it and all my vegetation is bum-fuzzled.

Here’s crazy Kes out on the front porch in her nightgown! She doesn’t mind the cold, I guess…

Keelan with a severe case of dandruff… She does not seem to mind, though.

Doofus and Goofus

Unhappy bushes covered with white cold stuff.  They all got themselves pulled up and left in the morning, bitching the whole time.  They never did appreciate me…

This is my BIRD OF PARADISE.  It is so tropical it could (and does) live in Hawaii.  Only not this one.  It was silently screaming, “Aaaaaahhhh!  Get this cold shit off of me!  I am tropical, dammit!  My best friends are azaleas!  Even St. Francis in the bird bath was cussing…  It was bad.  But very pretty!  And I say that’s what counts!

13 Comments
Filed under: Apocalypse, crazy shit, just plain weird, Keelan, Kessa, Mither, Nana and Pop, Strange, WOO-HOO

Boob squishing… From a D cup to A-Flat.

Author: Krissa

Dec 9

Today I ran up to the Breast Imaging place right here in Dickinson and… imaged my breasts.  Those machines were “invented” by a man.

I rode up there with Lisa and her grandmother, Mimi.  Mimi and I had appointments as Lisa already had her boobs squished a month or so ago.  I tried to get her to do it again with us, saying things like, “Come on!  All the cool kids are doing it!  It’ll be fun!”

She thought not.  And I got a fresh reminder of why shortly thereafter.

You know it’s really not the squished boob that was so bad, (speaking for myself here), it didn’t bother me too much.  It’s that the machine is so uncomfortable everywhere else.  Digging into my ribs and shoulder and arm like that.  Is it really necessary?  I was thinking, as I held my breath for the nice little lady to click the damn film already, that if they just put some padding on the edges and corners of the deal and moved the stupid plastic shield that my face was pressed up against to a remote corner of the earth… well, I might find my way back there before another three years have lapsed as they did this time.

I know!  I know!  That’s no excuse, it’s true!  There really isn’t any excuse and I was happy that my girls looked good on film.  I’ll get the official results in 7 to 10 days.

And it’s over with for another year!

John is off today but he had to run up to the store for a bit to take care of the possible firing of one of the slackers up there.  The caregiver provider person is coming at 3:00 today instead of the usual 11:00 AM, so that worked out well.  When he gets back, my honey and I are going out to eat!  Woo-Hoo!

There is also a bizarre laundry list of things to do:

The ever-present grocery store run

Dash over to the barn to pay our LAST month’s rent on the paddock that we rent for the horses that are being sold.  Woo-Hoo! (Yes, again.)

dry cleaners

Vet’s office to leave flier for somebody to buy that colt.

Sherwin Williams store here in town to pick up the winner can of paint that I decided on for the front door.

It hasn’t rained in for freakin ever and was the perfect weather for painting something outside.  It started raining today and is unbelievably humid, now.  Of course.  I know I should use oil base paint and primer because it’s on my front door, yet, I HATE, let me say it again, HATE painting with that shit.  It’s not the paint that’s so bad as the clean up. The door gets no direct sunlight or weather on it.

Yes.  I will be doing it latex style.

Well, gang, that’s the update from chez Lopez.

12 Comments
Filed under: crazy shit, Front door, Lisa, Lists, Painting the front door, Strange, WOO-HOO
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