I don’t know what to do next. Holiday decorating is going… well, slowly. *sigh* Just can’t seem to get in the spirit of things… My whole house seems to smell of poop and sadness. Well, maybe that’s just my take on things, cause nobody else has mentioned it. No. Do NOT call the health department. Really. STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE.
The tree is up and it’s one of those pre-lit ones that looks wonderful when the lights actually WORK on it. Last year, (only the third year we had it), the entire middle section didn’t light up. So I just piled on more lights and it looked OK. For some reason I was expecting it to work this year when I plugged it in. No. It hates me. It’s been talking to those elitist live bushes in the front yard that are (still) pissed off about the snow.
I DID, however, come across this most excellent recipe for a holiday… favorite(?) that I am willing to share with you all. You may have seen it before… but it’s worth a re-read.
World’s Greatest Fruitcake
4 large eggs
2 c dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1c brown sugar
1 bottle of whiskey
This is very easy to make and awesomely delicious, especially for the tiny amount of trouble. Assemble all ingredients and be sure you have enough counter space.
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Grab a large bowl. To be sure the whiskey is of highest quality, pour one cup and drink.
Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp. sugar and 1 cup baking soda and give it a beating. Check the whiskey and turn off the mix machine thingy. Add two whole eggs to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. When the fruit gets stuck in the beaters pry ’em loose with a drewscriver.
Check whiskey once more for tonsisticity. Shtir in two cups of salt. Or something white. Pour another cup of whiskey, use both hands so you don’t spill. Sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or whatever you have handy.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to time the setter. Aw, heck save time and put it where it would end up anyway: in the garbage. Except the whiskey. Finish the whiskey and crawl to bed.
Now, see. Wasn’t that a simple recipe? I believe I’ve made it before, but for some reason the whole episode seems kinda foggy to me…
Merry Christmas, everybody!
Comment by Marylin on December 13, 2008 at 6:37 pm
That recipe sounds very tasty! 🙂
Your way of thinking about the tree sounds like something I would do too 😛
Marylin’s last blog post..Photohunt: Favourite
Comment by Ree on December 13, 2008 at 6:48 pm
This is why, as much as i HATE putting lights on the freakin’ tree, that I do not get a prelit one.
Ree’s last blog post..Sharing Saturday – Bloggers Giving
Comment by witchypoo on December 13, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I knew there was a good reason I didn’t want a prelit tree.
And, as much as I would love a Roomba, I heard they don’t last long either.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Remember Newhart?
Comment by Predo on December 13, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Speaking of Fruit Cake, I hope you start feeling better about the season! Hahahahahahahaha you set me up for that, (knee slap) Fruitcake!!! Lets just share that whisky and forget about baking and the lights. Maybe, you could not have any lights on the tree this year and say you are saving energy! No one would dare ask, or even think that you had a losing fight with the darn thing!
Whatever the case, cheer up my little lambkin! Santa is coming soon! If you still have the snow you might be able to track him down and capture him for your love slave!!!! It might help if you leave a beer out instead of milk!
Predo’s last blog post..The Wedding…
Comment by Frita on December 14, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I have never made fruit cake but this one doesn’t sound so bad…might have to try it. As far as the season goes, I have been there too this season. I guess we “fake it till we make it!” Hope it turns around for you!
Frita’s last blog post..Cozy Day
Comment by big hair envy on December 15, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Would it be alright to substitute wine for whiskey in that recipe?
I’m struggling with the whole “Christmas Spirit” thing too. At least I have a week left. I hope to be inspired…..
big hair envy’s last blog post..A Big Win
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