Hey everybody! I just wanted to wish everyone a happy new year and say… It can’t get any worse? (frantically knocking on wood…)
I think this sums things up pretty well…
Archive for December, 2008
Getting rich slowly… very, VERY slowly.
Author: KrissaDec 28
My List to get rich quick. My attempt to make a stab at my own little version of the gross national debt. And I DO mean gross.
- put the horse trough on Craig’s List for $50.00. Check- (SOLD)
- put the saddle on Craig’s List for, ummm, $200.00?…. $300.00? (Will do as soon as Keelan gets home and cleans it up. *note to self, tell John to bring home saddle soap*
- investigate the cost of saddles.
- put Kes’s text books and a few others on Amazon to sell. 7 of them. Check- (SOLD…some of them)
- put a bunch of my McCoy pottery pieces on Ebay. Check- (bidding ends late tomorrow, prepare to be rich, less poor.
I cannot freaking believe that Kes just came in and told me that she was looking at her courses on line and she has a biology 2 class, (or some such shit) that is requiring the exact same book that we just sold for $80.00.
AAAARRRG! WHY, OH WHY IS MY GET RICH (quick, deadly slow, whatever), SCHEME BACKFIRING?
On the bright side, I have scarred Keelan for life… mentally, that is. During the Christmas meal preparation, she wandered into the kitchen and gazed longingly at the turkey that I had recently pulled out of the oven. I thought I’d mess with her a little bit and I gestured to the perfectly round, neat little 22 caliber sized hole in the breast of the bird where I had recently pulled out the pop up button thing that tells you when it is sufficiently done on the inside.
I said, “Oh, look… that’s where they shot it.”
Her eye’s got huge and I swear her face turned white as she stared at that turkey that she must have been sure had died a natural death of “want-to-contribute-to-our-holiday-meal”. Everyone started laughing and she blushed. Sometimes she is sooooo sweet.
And then there are the other times…
Filed under: Cooking, crazy shit, just plain weird, Keelan, Like a game show but without good prizes, Lists, WOO-HOO
Where to buy ass meat to cook for Christmas…
Author: KrissaDec 26
Well, it’s all over and I am glad that life is going back to semi-normal. John is back at work and that store is TORE UP. At least it was when we had to go up there twice yesterday to check on it.
That’s how weird his employer’s are. This is a huge national chain that, for the most part has all their stores staying open 24/7. They close at 4:00pm on Thanksgiving day and are closed on Christmas day.
And that’s it.
They apparently don’t remember what it’s like to just close every night like regular folk do and are completely freaked out paranoid at the thought of any of their stores being left uninhabited for an entire day and night. So all the stores have to have a manager go up there twice during the day of Christmas and walk through the entire thing, checking all the coolers to see if for some bizarre reason they have stopped working and go through all the bathrooms and backrooms and storage closets and walk-in freezers and coolers and behind all the counters of this 88,000 sq. ft. store looking for… I don’t know what. It’s ridiculous.
Did I mention they’re paranoid?
He’s gotten it all back in shape by now and he’s off tomorrow, so… YEAAA!
Yesterday was a success. I decided that I was scaling back a lot and not breaking out every single specialty Kes and I could whip out. Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, rolls, pumpkin pie (1), dressing, gravy, and I think that’s it. It was bare minimum.
On Christmas Eve I finally heard from SIL late in the day and I asked her to bring the green vegetables. She told me that H had asked her to make a roast the day before and she was going to bring that, too.
OK, fine.
She showed up and had a piece of meat that she later admitted having got at some Mexican meat market and she had no idea what cut it was, but it was NOT a roast. Tough. As. Shoe. Leather.
She also just said, “I didn’t bring the vegetables.”
That was the only thing I asked her for.
We had her, and her “friend” that she didn’t tell me was coming, her 4 grown kids, along with one of the kids boyfriend, (also didn’t know was coming), and her two grandkids. So an extra 11 people for supper.
It was interesting.
Anyway, things went along fairly well and it was all over almost as soon as it had begun. The two nieces of John’s that have 5 and 6 kids a piece didn’t call or show, (thank you God), so it could have been much worse and much more crowded.
Last night we were taking bets on how the “roast” was going to affect H’s “delicate digestive system”. She went with indigestion and saying that “…it was that roast…it was greasy… she should have boiled it longer.” There was nothing greasy about that dried up hunk of ass meat. But I won’t be telling Henrietta that. Some nasty stuff, that. 
From Starbucks to Leprosy
Author: KrissaDec 23
A few days ago when the caregiver provider person was here with Henrietta and John was off work for the day we got all crazy with freedom and decided to hit Starbucks in the Barnes and Nobel bookstore. Just us. No errands, no kids, no promises to do anything for anyone else. It was totally relaxing and we had such a good time. John has been working so hard and putting in so many hours. I, literally, just sat across the table and watched the stress melt off of him.
After we browsed around looking at books and I bought a new one, we drank our coffee and headed out to La Madeline’s to have lunch. We’d never been there before and it was excellent.
It probably seems a little bit ridiculous, but I’d like to have just one day a month when we can go out and do just what we want, together and not feel like we have to hurry and run two dozen errands in the meantime. A “date” day, if you will.
That’s not too much to ask, is it?
Settling in at Starbucks…
NOW we’re ready to go eat.
I guess the saddest part of this story is how badly abused John is when he’s at home and it’s late at night and he’s so tired he can’t stay awake and I have run out of reading material, there’s no good guests on Leno, Letterman or Furgeson… Well, it gets a little dicey.
I had a sheet of sticky felt dots I had picked up at the hardware store to attach on the bottom of a part of H’s wheelchair that was making black marks on the floor in her room when I took the pedals off at night to haul her out of the chair. (I think that may be the longest sentence ever… yet, I don’t care enough to go back and fix it…humph.)
Anyway, I started out just wondering if he’d wake up if I stuck one on him. This, of course, led to more of them and I have to say…
I felt no shame.
Looks like he has a case of the dreaded green felt dot leprosy. Yes, I thought it was a little funny.
Did I mention I was bored?
Anyway, he got up to pee later that night and came back to bed and I started giggling and he wanted to know what was so funny. I ended up telling him about the dots and he started feeling around on his back and I had to tell him, “No… the other shoulder.” I couldn’t stop laughing. He did too and now every night when we go to bed he says something like “Don’t dot me! AND NO PICTURES!”
From Lisa to Willie
Author: KrissaDec 20
(Started last Tuesday…)
Hello there. I am just sitting here waiting for the caregiver provider to get here at 11:00 to stay with H for the next three hours and I am OFF! Lisa and her Mimi are picking me up and we are running the roads.
Let that be my own personal warning to anyone in the area who might be out and about at the same time we are.
There will be Christmas shopping and lunch eating, laughing and cussing, squealing and hair pulling. Well, OK, maybe not hair pulling, but ya never know with Lisa and me.
I will give full disclosure when I get back.
It is Thursday now and no, it didn’t take this long for me to recuperate from the wild partying shopping spree we were to go on. The original one on Tuesday didn’t even really happen. Lisa’s grandson, a three year old, got kind of dumped on her at the last minute, when his mother, never showed up to pick him up from the father’s house and the father and his girlfriend had to go to work.
So we were attempting to shop with a three year old. We, basically, didn’t. The whole day was shot. There was no stroller and it was a constant effort to keep up with where he was.
So yesterday, Wednesday, we struck out again and accomplished a bit more. I bought two nightgowns for the girls for Christmas and then took them back. I did keep the house shoes I got them, though.
I bought two pairs of sleep pants and two tee shirts to go with them for The Boyfriend, and they are going back today. The pants, not the tee shirts. Kes says the pants are way too small. They are X-large and I know how big his waist is cause he’s worn some of John’s old belts before. She says that I keep forgetting how big his thighs are.
Oh.
He is very large and muscular. and has gigantic muscles thighs. So his pants have to be bought huge in order for his legs to fit into them.
Maybe he needs to sleep in shorts. It’s not that cold. I mean really. We’ve been sleeping with the air conditioner on for the past two nights.
OK, now it’s Saturday and John and I spent all day yesterday and the day before frantically running around doing Christmas stuff. And by “stuff” I mean shopping. You know… buying shit you can’t afford for people you “have to” give to because they always give you something, whether or not either one of you can afford to do it. And I mean people you don’t even necessarily like, but you are obligated to share Christmas with and give crap to JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE PART OF YOUR HUSBAND’S FAMILY. AND DID I MENTION THEY REPRODUCE LIKE RABBITS AND THERE ARE A MILLION OF THEM?
(Stepping down from rickety platform I hastily erected for myself.)
Anyway, we were driving in unbearable traffic and trying to make it all the way to a certain store and John popped in a CD since nothing was really good on the radio at present.
All the sudden I am listening to Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings.
I know. John is a strange one and his musical taste is… diverse. You never know which way he’s gonna go.
So we’re sitting there and Willie and Waylon are belting out “Good Hearted Woman” and it comes to a spot in the song where Willie Nelson is singing close to the end and he’s going on about how she loves him in spite of his *something* ways she don’t understand…
John was singing along with him kind of low and I turned and looked at him and said, “What did you say?”
He repeated himself and said, quite clearly, “She loves him in spite of his Micky Mouse ways, she don’t understand?”
I could not speak I was laughing so hard. So there was much backing up of the CD and replaying that particular part, and this version really did sound weird. I couldn’t understand what Willie was saying right in that particular part, but, I assured him that he absolutely WAS NOT saying anything about Mickey Mouse. He might have been taking a drag off of one of his herbal cigarettes, but he was not speaking of the mouse.
This is not the same version that John had burned for the CD, however it IS Willie and Waylon and a good listen if you like this kind of music. I guess I like it well enough, just not my usual cup of tea…
Oh, note the lack of mention of Mickey Mouse… He says, quite clearly, “…his ways, she don’t understand…”
