Today, while shopping for bread in the Mrs. Baird’s Thrift Store, John and I were discussing the merits of different loaves of breads. Which kind to get? Hmmm. I casually remarked to him, “So, what’s the difference between 7 grain and 12 grain?” The guy behind the counter just COULD NOT let it go by. Slow drawl, “That’d be ’bout 5 grains…”.
Sometimes you can escape the smartasses at home, let your guard down, and still find yourself not entirely safe.

That sounds about right. Dumbass.
Did you ask him to name all twelve grains?