July 27, 2008
Oh for Gawd’s sake just amputate it and shut up about it….
Last night, Kes was walking, (barefoot), through the kitchen on her way to the living room when she stepped on something. She yelled, “Oww!”, and limped over to the couch to examine her foot.
“MOM!”
“Yes, dear. I’m right here.”, I deep sighed… (I guess I should know where she gets it.)
“Ohmigosh Mom! There’s a piece of glass in my foot!” She glances up and says accusingly, “You left glass on the floor when you broke that glass cake pan the other day!”
You know how Pyrex shatters, eight million gillion pieces, give or take 6 or 7. I am STILL finding chunks of it two rooms away as it fairly exploded when it hit the ground. Not to mention the worst part was I was taking a batch of brownies out of the oven when I dropped it.
She plucks the offending shard out and shows it to me. “It’s huge, Mom!”
She begins to tease now, “You left it there to stab me! I’m bleeding Mom! Quick get me a band aid, Neosporin, and hydrogen peroxide. Hurry, Mom, HURRY!
I am laughing at the fuss she is making and go to the bathroom to get the stuff. While I’m in there I hear her flip open her phone and start madly texting. She finishes up pretty soon after I get back and doctor her toe. I asked, so, who were you texting, and she replied, boyfriend. What did you tell him? She flipped her cell back open with the ubiquitous deep sigh/eye roll and read,
“I don’t think I can cook dinner for us nonight, as I am wounded. Mom has stabbed me with a piece of the pyarrhea cake pan.”
Swear to God, she flipped the cell shut and looked me straight in the face and said “WHAT?”
I couldn’t stop laughing. And even when I told her it was Pyrex, not pyarrhea, she still didn’t see what was so funny when she thought she was just being a litte silly.
Tink said,
July 27, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
I’m cracking up that you actually went and fetched all that stuff. My Mom would have told me to hobble my butt there and get it myself! LOL.
Mither said,
July 27, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
Well yes, and I would have told her to hobble her butt in there and get it herself but this daughter of mine is the ultimate care giver! You must have noticed this.
Serendipitous Girl said,
July 27, 2008 @ 11:22 pm
Oh my goodness. You seriously are the most nurturing, patient person! I’d be so pissed about the brownies, I probably would have said she was lucky that’s all she got stabbed with. You can tell my maternal instincts are STRONG ; )
Big Hair Envy said,
July 28, 2008 @ 10:00 am
I probably would have made my daughter run the vacuum after I bandaged her wound! Hahahaha!
My brother-in-law dropped a wine glass on my tile floor last summer. I swear that shards of glass are still oozing up out of the grout
Memarie Lane said,
July 28, 2008 @ 10:10 am
Last Thursday Max fell and scraped his knee at the park. When they came home I washed it and put neosporin and a band-aid on it, but all day that day he lurched around like a land-mine victim. He kept the leg of his shorts hitched up to his crotch too until I got tired of it and rolled it up for him.
Karen said,
July 28, 2008 @ 11:29 am
Bwahahaha! Aren’t girls the most dramatic?
Is pyarrhea like glass diarrhea?
Anglophile Football Fanatic said,
July 29, 2008 @ 9:03 pm
You see why I think I am meant to parent boys? I would so say something about a tetnus shot and then watch her blanch.
Queen Goob said,
July 30, 2008 @ 7:51 pm
My response usually goes something like this: IS BONE PROTRUDING FROM THE WOUND? NO? YOU’RE FINE!!!!!
I yell because I’m not getting up unless it a “real” emergency. Like death.
Kelley said,
July 31, 2008 @ 6:31 am
Damn Emos. In my day I would have pulled out the glass with my teeth and then called all my friends to tell them what a hero I am.
Well not really, I would have cried like a baby and insisted on going to the hospital, but the above is what I would have told my kid.