Today at Chez Lopez we are undergoing technical difficulties. However, not in a too terribly tragic way. The cable is stuck. Every cable channel is frozen. And not in the most attractive poses for the people on said channels. Basic channels all work fine. But, hey, it’s Saturday and there is no sense in explaining how utterly and completely useless basic channels are on a Saturday. OK, maybe not for someone out there. But not me. Henrietta is distressed, also. No good can come of this. I am gonna have to get dressed, walk outside, and get the damn paper to read. I need to just sue the damn cable company. But I guess they have so much money they’d hire a very good, snooty, high powered attorney and investigate my situation and see quite clearly that my time is best spent cleaning house and not watching TV anyway. I would lose. They’d probably sue me for annoying them and I’d lose my house…. But, then I wouldn’t have to clean it!
I smell a lawsuit coming on…
Oh honey, sometime your problems are just almost too much to bear.
THIS IS WHAT I’M SAYING!
I hate the cable company. You need a satellite.
Hmmm … cable television. Frozen screens. Compromising positions of various stars and starlets? It’s not a lawsuit I hear. It’s BLACKMAIL.