John came in from work the other day in, quite possibly the worst mood I have ever had the misfortune of being subjected to.  We’re talking Lewis Black on a bad day.  Just cranky as all get-out.  I went ahead and did the requisite wasting of my time by asking him what was the matter and was careful to have the look of concern placed squarely on my face.  I looked attentive and mildly distressed as he gave me the requisite answer of “Nothing is wrong”.


Moving right along then.

And this is what gets me.  I can’t understand getting that response from him to a question that is reasonable to ask any person who has announced his homecoming by slamming the car door hard enough to register on the Richter scale, literally throwing the loaf of bread he brought home across the entire kitchen to land only partially intact on the counter, (part in the sink), and tossing me a glare when I said, “Oh!, but…but, the bread….  Even the dogs, (whom I tell you can sense evil), were scarce and they always go into their frantic jubilant dance when Daddy comes home.  Not this time, baby.

So, let me get this straight.  “Nothing is wrong?”

“No. Nothing is wrong.”

And this is how it works sometimes at this house.  I learned a long time ago that if I keep on asking and asking eventually he will tell me and he just gets all worked up about it again.  I mean I know it’s not something that’s my fault cause, for heaven’s sake he’s been at work all day.  So I ignore him and after a couple of hours or so he’s fine.  Eventually I’ll ask him what was wrong and he’ll tell me and it will all be OK and he will be over it.  But every once in a while, when I suspect there must be some sort of planet misalignment or full moon or someone at work bitchslapping him, I get this kind of attitude when he gets here and I NEVER SEE IT COMING.  I’d like to say at this time that I always handle it beautifully, but it really happens so seldom that I have to stop and take stock and think about the propper response.  And anytime there is a SWAT truck parked outside my house, I have neglected to do that.