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I am going to cheat and use the first 10 from a meme I did a little while back. No, really. You can’t stop me. It’s just the way I am.

1. I am the mother of two, (2) teenage girls, a 17 and 18 year old, and I attempt to operate them daily without a helmet.

2. I am the full time caregiver for my 86 year old mother-in-law, who is bedridden/wheelchair bound.

3. I have found that one of the worst experiences in life is dumping a bedpan of shit and pee in the potty and having the… water? splash back up and sprinkle your face in a fashion that would be somewhat refreshing under totally different circumstances.

4. I have a distinctive case of toenail fungus on the 4th toe of my left foot.

5. I LOVE to read. Favorite author of the moment is Janet Evanovitch. She is hilarious.

6. Have to be one of the WORST spellers on the face of the earth. Thank you God for spell check!

7. My husband, John, is the love of my life and a the biggest, proud-of-it, tightwad I have ever known.

8. My idea of a perfect day is to spend the whole day with my husband and two girls out of the house somewhere and have nobody argue. THE WHOLE DAY. This has never happened. But, I have faith.

9. One of my best friends resides in Italy and I miss her. (Hi Susan!)

10. My mom said to say that she is wonderful and loving and, most important, ALWAYS RIGHT. (Happy Mom?)

OK, now I get down to work…..

11. When I was very young I thought the song “Secret Agent Man” was saying “Secret Asian Man”. For a very long time.

12. My brother, Cam, thought the duo, Hall and Oates was really a group called Hauling Oats.

13. I prefer Jay Leno to David Letterman, but will watch whoever has the best guests.

14. I am very short waisted. (I have a very short body and long legs.) If my body was the right size for my legs I would actually be rather tall. I am 5′ 4 1/2″.

15. I feel like everything in my house revolves around whether or not the kitchen is clean.

16. I am a Discovery Channel junkie.

17. I love to learn things but at the same time I hate it because I know I won’t be able to remember it, no matter how hard I try.

18. I am horrible about starting projects, (major ones), and not finishing them.

19. My favorite tv show is Boston Legal.

20. I can’t stand raw onions, but like them cooked.

21. I love animals, and am a “dog person”.

22. I wish I knew more about computers. (Who doesn’t?)

23. I spent a good deal of my childhood growing up in Louisiana and have never gone back.

24. The funnest job I ever had was being a mannequin model at Casual Corner wearing wedding dresses outside the store in the mall hallway. I was so surprised at the amount of people who never figured out that I was a real person and not a mannequin.

25. I wish very much I had lots of friends that would come over and visit me a lot.

26. I second guess myself about everything, and almost always end up wishing I had done or said something different.

27. When I make iced tea at home I sweeten it and when I order it in restaurants I never add sweetener, just lemon. I don’t know why, just easier, I suppose?

28. To this day the smell of aerosol hairspray reminds me of summertime when I was a little girl. I’m guessing my mom’s Aqua Net.

29. On the one hand I want to be able to get out and “experience life” very badly, but on the other hand I am kind of afraid to and the thought of being afraid to leave the house is even more terrifying to me. Can “forced captivity” lead to agoraphobia? I’ll let ya know.

30. This list is harder than I thought and I have obviously given up on trying for only interesting things.

31. I am allergic, big time, to poison oak, as is my mom. But I could play in it when I was a child and it had no effect on me.

32. I can’t stand hearing people say “Where you at?” or even “Where are you at?” I always want to correct them. ” WHERE ARE YOU? PERIOD! NO ‘AT’!” Am I a snob or what?

33. I give up on things I am trying to do way too easily when they become challenging.

34. I am ALWAYS the winner in a “sarcasm contest”.

35. I am a very sweet person in general, but go for the throat if irritated.

36. I love Honey Nut Cheerios.

37. I rarely make my bed.

38. Van Gogh is one of my favorite classic artists.

39. My pet name for my husband is D.B. which stands for Doll Babe.

40. Sometimes D. B. stands for Dumb Butt.

41. D. B. is also his pet name for me.

42. We call each other this ALL THE TIME.

43. We hardly ever argue.

44. When we do our children are completely flummoxed.

45. I can’t wait until my husband retires.

46. We have been married for 20 years.

47. I like croutons, but not bacon bits.

48. Sometimes when we are driving through our neighborhood we like to look at stranger’s houses and wonder aloud what they are doing inside right then and what is going on in their lives. Then we make up strange stories for them and laugh while we both “one up” each other on bizarre little details about their lives.

49. When I was a child I could eat my weight in fresh apricots from my grandmother’s trees.

50. When I was a little girl I had a huge crush on Davy Jones of The Monkees. But hey, who didn’t?

51. I actually know how to stop global warming, but, no one has asked me….

52. I tend to toe out a little bit.

53. It is alarming how fast this went when I first started and how fast that well of inspiration dried up.

53. I’ve always thought it would be so funny if people had a little light that went on over their heads when they are flatulent. No more secrets there! BAHAHAHAHA

54. My dad was a pilot before he retired and when I was little he used to land in the pasture at our house in a helicopter and take my friends and me for rides, on my birthdays.

55. I wish I had learned to play an instrument.

56. I had a head injury, in a car accident when I was almost 15 years old.

57. I can’t remember the majority of my childhood.

58. I am a night owl.

59. I HATE math.

60. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would purchase or read a tabloid newspaper.

61. When I was growing up I had a subscription to Mad Magazine, Tiger Beat, and got all my cousins old Highlights. Was I well read or what? Oh, Oh! and National Geographic! See. I wasn’t that devoid of content.

62. I grew up with The Houston Post newspaper and I still miss it. Now there is only The Houston Chronicle. Or as John calls it, The Houston Comical.

63. I keep hitting “save” every few entries, but I fully expect WordPress to eat at least part of this before I am done.

64. I love roller coasters.

65. I never scream. Ever.

66. I hate my wardrobe. Well, not all of it. But, a lot of it.

67. I have a weak chin and the fatter I get the weaker it gets.

68. If I could change anything about my face it would be my chin.

69. My mom used to tease me about my “idea” of opening a business where I tell people “what they should do or do differently, for money. I think these are called “Consultants”, now, but there was no such thing when we were joking around about it.

70. I have the voice of a Munchkin doing hits of helium. It’s a thousand wonders my children ever considered me the boss.

71. I am a born navigator. I have an absolutely uncanny ability to determine north, south, east and west from anywhere. When I was a child I could fall asleep in the car and wake up in someplace that I’d never been before and know which way north, south, east and west were. To this day I can remember the places I have lived since I was about 5 and can tell you which direction they were facing. Weird. And WHY?

72. I have brittle fingernails and they split, horizontally quite easily.

73. My Dad constantly surprised me as I was growing up by offering a different perspective than my mom or I could ever come up with.

74. My brother is my savior of sorts as he built my webpage for me to blog on.

75. I am mechanically minded and instinctively understand the mechanics of things that are really quite complicated.

76. I wish I could sew like my mom.

77. One of my biggest fears is my children will grow up and not respect me.

78. I prefer baths to showers and…

79. chocolate cake with white icing

80. I really hate fighting, but I am passionate about it. I always win.

81. I am “Scotch/Irish on my maternal grandfathers side of the family and English on the grandmothers side.

82. Samuel Clements is a distant relative on my grandmothers side.

83. My father’s side appears to be all German.

84. Both my natural father and adoptive father are of German ancestry.

85. I once worked with a woman named Marjorie Sterling and I still think that is the prettiest name…

86. I love to do artsy stuff.

87. I wish I had more energy. (Who doesn’t?)

88. I like to try new foods, but was the world’s pickiest eater as a child.

89. I wish I could grow all my nails long AT THE SAME TIME.

90. I pray every night and have since I was a teenager.

91. I am always worried that God is bored to tears with my prayers.

92. But, really, what do you want to say to God that would seem more interesting?

93. Even the sins I confess are pretty boring.

94. It finally rained and I am so glad I don’t have to water the plants outside today.

95. I very rarely remember my dreams.

96. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM ALMOST FINISHED.

97. I am finding it hard to resist the urge to cheat.

98. Now I am wondering HOW I would cheat…

99. Followed closely by feeling of deflation upon realizing there is no shortcut and I have to come up with one more….make it good, Krissa…OH! I know!

100. People pick their noses when they are in the car with me because if they are driving and I am in the passenger seat they are on my blind side and I can’t see them. YES YOU DO! I KNOW YOU DO!