Hot Mama over at Law School Sucks and so do lawyers, has a post today that I sooo relate to that I feel the need to expound upon it.

We have lived in this house for three and a half years and the list of things to do have grown and grown. And, of course, none of them are cheap.

I like to think that we are pretty easy on our domiciles, but the fact remains that none of these things were wrong when we moved in. This house might as well have been brand new. It was in pristine condition. Fresh paint inside and out, new carpet upstairs and down, everything worked perfectly and nothing was broken. Oh. Well, there is one ceramic tile in the kitchen that has a hairline crack in it that you can barely see. That is the only thing that is preexisting. I do think that the lights on the ceiling fans that we are having trouble with are nothing that we did. The wiring is just shitty and both of them, living room and breakfast room, have shorts and flicker on and off.

The front door is getting weathered and is peeling, needs refinishing.

The leaded glass in it has some broken places.-(thanks to one of Keelan’s dumb-ass friends)

The sprinkler system has a broken valve thingy.

The hot tub has two broken jets.

The carpet in the master bedroom needs cleaning. (The upstairs isn’t getting done until the pigs girls move out. I know when to cut my losses.)

At this point the liquor cabinet is depleted.

The hood vent in the kitchen is kaput. That means no one can burn anything cause we are limited in our ability to export smoke. So, like, there is no cooking going on cause, hey, we burn things on a regular basis.

When we have hurricane force winds, (remember I live down here by Houston, deep up in the armpit of Texas), there is a leak around the atrium window.

We desperately need sand in the backyard, and some in the front. The ground is uneven and holds water that I would really rather run off to my neighbors’ yards. (I AM TOO A GOOD NEIGHBOR!)

The liquor cabinet needs….redecorating.

Speaking of liquor cabinet… The sink in the wet bar is very slow to drain.

My closet would look much better if I had a new wardrobe.

Come to think of it, the floors wouldn’t look that bad or even need sweeping if I had freshly pedicured feet to look at on them. I mean, really, who would even notice the floors if my feet looked fab?

The light track over the fireplace, and more importantly over where H sits in her wheelchair while reading the paper, just stopped working. For no apparent reason at all. We got a new wall switch and swapped it out and changed the bulbs and everything else you can think of that was cheap. No. Must have new light track.

That is all I can think of right now. There is a more extensive list, (if you can believe that), living on John’s Palm.