When I was young and cute and skinny and had mile long legs and perky boobs, (aaaah yes, I remember…), I waitressed in a swanky cocktail bar for loads of cash. For those were the days when the economy was booming in Houston and business men threw around cash like politicians do blame. I came across many an amorous man who would ask me for my phone number. I began to see the correlation between my tips and the giving of the phone number to those that would ask. A lot of my friends that worked there would give a fake number just made up on the spot, but I thought that was a bit rude and besides, return customers always tipped best anyway. So one day when I noticed an add in the phone directory for a place that sounded perfect, I memorized the number and gave it out at work as mine from then on.
I like to think that in addition to letting a guy down gently I also, in my own little way, contributed to Christianity when these unsuspecting, drunk dialing, slobs reached Dial-A-Prayer in the wee hours of the morning and there was no way in hell I was answering the phone anyway.
6 comments
Comment by zoe on May 26, 2008 at 9:28 am
ahh the good ole days of long legs and perky boobs. damn gravity.
Comment by Krissa on May 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I KNOW!
Comment by moo on May 27, 2008 at 12:32 pm
LOVED this! Hee!
Comment by Claire B on May 31, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Perfect! solution. I gave a fake name all those years ago when guys would ask me for one. All those years ago when I wasn’t the oldest woman in the bar. All those years ago when I wasn’t in-freakin-visible.
Sigh. But my legs were never long. What was THAT like?
Comment by Claire B on May 31, 2008 at 4:51 pm
When they would ask me for my name, I meant.
Comment by Krissa on June 1, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Well, Claire, it really doesn’t matter what it was like then cause the older I got the…rounder I got and the, the strangest thing…my legs got shorter as I got “rounder”. So now I am round and my legs are no longer long. Not exactly short, but, not loooong either.
I can totally relate to everything you said.
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