Or, eh, OH GAWD! Thus far today we have only run in, (rolled fast in the wheelchair), to get Henrietta on the bedpan, twice. And bless her heart she feels like she will for sure not get there in time, every time we do this. The first time there was actual….poo. But the second time, (and for the rest of the day), it was just gas. Or, as H likes to say, “It was just gases.” She never has gas, she only “expels gases”. Anyway, she is getting heavier all the time and I am guessing she is up to about 95 lbs now. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. GEE, 95 LBS? THAT’S NOT HEAVY. SHE’S A LIGHTWEIGHT. Shows what you know. I am only one middle-aged woman and you try hauling 95 lbs. of dead weight back and forth from a wheelchair to a bed and back again after picking up the lower half of her and putting the bedpan under her butt and picking her up again to pull it out and picking her up again to put the diaper on and up again to pull her pants up and all cause she had to fart.
It’s enough to make a person go mad. And every once in a while, not often, you understand, but occasionally, I can hear the dogs speaking to one another and they are more often than not talking about me and I could swear they’re conspiring….